Location - what to do, what to do?

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KNuge Posts : 2 Registered: 6/1/09
Location - what to do, what to do?
Posted: Aug 4, 2010 5:00 PM

My FH and I grew up on opposite sides of the country which makes for fun decision making as we don't want either side to feel left out because of the travel needs.

I am sure there are others out there that have faced, or are facing, a similar situation. I am curious to know how you chose the wedding location.

Thank you, in advance, for any advice you provide.

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HappyGirl13 Posts : 1,298 Registered: 4/21/08
Re: Location - what to do, what to do?
Posted: Aug 4, 2010 6:41 PM Go to message in response to: KNuge

You could go the "traditional" route and have it in your, the bride's, hometown. That's a good option especially if you trust & want your family to help you make choices about the wedding regarding the venue, caterer, etc. The thinking behind this "tradition", from what I understand, is that since the bride's family traditionally hosts the wedding, they're also the ones doing the planning, so it makes sense to hold the wedding where they can easily plan the event.

You don't say where you and FH are living now. His hometown? Your hometown? A totally different town? If you're living in a part of the country that isn't very accessible to either of your hometowns, and you and FH will be paying for and planning most or all of the event, it makes more sense for you to have it where you live now. Yes, both sides of the family will have to travel, but do you really want to plan a wedding in a place you're not living in? It's hard enough to plan a wedding without being able to run around and see the venues yourself and meet the vendors yourself.

Hope that helps.

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auntofthebride Posts : 9,354 Registered: 4/2/06
Re: Location - what to do, what to do?
Posted: Aug 4, 2010 8:03 PM Go to message in response to: KNuge

Dear KN,

Tradition to the rescue!

Tradition tells you to have the wedding in the bride's home town, as the bride is doing the lion's share of the planning. If you are otherwise stymied, then why not just go with Tradition.

It's also Tradition for the groom (and/or his family) to host a second reception in his home town so his friends and family can meet his new wife.

Hey, why not? I do not advise getting married halfway between. Planning is hard enought without having to add long-distance planning to the mix.

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KNuge Posts : 2 Registered: 6/1/09
Re: Location - what to do, what to do?
Posted: Aug 5, 2010 12:08 PM Go to message in response to: auntofthebride

Thanks ladies for the advice!

We have decided on my hometown (in answer to your question we do not live in either of our hometowns) but I was just concerned about his family feeling upset or left out. I know it will be hard for so many in his family to travel, but it would be just as hard for mine, and then asking both to travel would just be too much. I just need to remember it's what FH and I want and not be too consumed by others' wants/needs. That's tough for me. ;-)

Tradition it is and we are really looking forward to it!!

Thanks again

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auntofthebride Posts : 9,354 Registered: 4/2/06
Re: Location - what to do, what to do?
Posted: Aug 5, 2010 8:05 PM Go to message in response to: KNuge

Dear KN,

"but I was just concerned about his family feeling upset or left out"

Most people who have been around for a while know that weddings are usually held in the bride's hometown, just for logistical planning purposes. If they are upset or feel left out, then they can plan a second reception in their town so their friends can meet you both.

If the bride and groom come from different hometowns, then, SOMEBODY has to travel. Not a big deal.

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asiabride Posts : 9 Registered: 7/15/10
Re: Location - what to do, what to do?
Posted: Oct 20, 2010 10:26 PM Go to message in response to: auntofthebride

I know how you feel. In fact, before seeing this thread I was about to post pretty much the same thing.
My problem is, my fiance is from another country, one that doesn't have the bride's hometown traditon that we have.
grrrrrr........

Edited by: asiabride on Oct 20, 2010 10:28 PM

Edited by: asiabride on Oct 20, 2010 10:30 PM

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myras Posts : 396 Registered: 2/26/10
Re: Location - what to do, what to do?
Posted: Oct 20, 2010 11:37 PM Go to message in response to: asiabride

Well, Asiabride, since you're here (and, I assume, from this country?, Tradition still can be in effect. After all, someone, somewhere, has to give--your bodies cannot be in two places at the same time. Sooo, if anyone on his side has a problem, your FH (not you!) must explain this tradition to them and let them know that they'll just have to deal with it. If they can't travel, then the two of you can arrange to visit after your wedding here and, as AOTB has explained, let them hold a reception (doesn't have to be a fancy "wedding," just a gathering) for those who could not make it to the actual wedding.

myra@classysassyweddings.com

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asiabride Posts : 9 Registered: 7/15/10
Re: Location - what to do, what to do?
Posted: Oct 22, 2010 11:29 PM Go to message in response to: myras

You assumed right Myras, I'm an American (North Carolina.)That's true about someone having to give, but if it turns out to be him, I really don't think his family will have a problem with it. The dilema is, both locations have their own pros and cons, and while I think it would be nice to get married here (and FH's already said he's fine with that), I don't really have a problem with having the wedding there either. Guess it's kind of like that situation where there's one breadstick in the basket and everyone at the table is thinking about it, but hesitating to be the one to actually take it, lol.
Either way, that's a good idea about having the wedding, and then a get together later for the family that couldn't come (cutting the breadstick in half maybe???) My cousin did that this summer, and a friend about a year ago; had the wedding out of town and a party for all of us here that couldn't come, and both times were lots of fun.

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