inviting mentally disabled cousin

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hutchae84 Posts : 1 Registered: 7/13/10
inviting mentally disabled cousin
Posted: Jul 13, 2010 2:50 PM

Hi,

My dad's side is very small and I only have one cousin who is mentally disabled and about my age. I would prefer not to include him since he does several things to make me uncomfortable, such as continually try to kiss me on the lips, among many other things. I am having a sit down elegant dinner and we are not including anyone under 18 at our reception. My cousin is way above that age but his mental capacity is way below that age. I feel bad not including him and afraid my family on that side would be very offended. What decision should I make and if I were to make the decision not to invite him what would be the best way to handle this? I have started having nightmares he is going to run down the aisle and try to kiss me after they annouce "you may now kiss the bride".

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wdubin Posts : 49 Registered: 4/27/08
Re: inviting mentally disabled cousin
Posted: Jul 13, 2010 3:12 PM Go to message in response to: hutchae84

I think you have no choice but to invite him. If not, your family would be pretty offended. I would ask a relative to watch over him to be sure he doesn't do anything too offensive.

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auntofthebride Posts : 9,354 Registered: 4/2/06
Re: inviting mentally disabled cousin
Posted: Jul 13, 2010 4:53 PM Go to message in response to: hutchae84

Dear Hutch,

You have every right to invite the people you want to invite to your wedding. If you do not want that cousin to attend, you have every right not to invite him.

However, other members of your family have a similar right to be offended if their son/brother/whatever is not invited, when other family members of similar relation and similar age are invited.

Which is the lesser of two evils? Having him there or having other family members mad at you?

Here is a suggestion. Obviously, his behavior is inappropriate. Is there anyone you can ask to be his "minder", just like if a small child was there and needed minding? Someone who can make sure he does not get up and chase you down the aisle?

Do you have any muscular, burly, but discreet, friends who would be willing to help? Someone called Bubba or Tiny?

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CheetahAngel Posts : 2,017 Registered: 11/29/08
Re: inviting mentally disabled cousin
Posted: Jul 13, 2010 7:37 PM Go to message in response to: hutchae84

Someone called Bubba or Tiny? LOL Aunt!!

But I was just thinking that maybe give someone the "job" of watching him and making sure he is behaving properly. Perhaps have people take turns watching him so that everyone can have an equal amount of time enjoying the wedding. I think you will hurt feelings if he is not invited. It's only for oneday for a few hours, but I know you dont want your day to be ruined. My niece acts immature at times and acts-up due to her bipolor. But I dont want to exclude her from the wedding. So I will have some family members taking turns watching her and making sure she is behaving properly. Who knows, maybe your cousin's parents won't bring him because they know how he acts and they may just want to enjoy the day without him. But just send an invite to be nice.

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swichwang34 Posts : 657 Registered: 9/13/12
Re: inviting mentally disabled cousin
Posted: Sep 13, 2012 5:32 PM Go to message in response to: hutchae84

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