Would you marry someone that had cheated?

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Dani303 Posts : 18 Registered: 6/3/10
Would you marry someone that had cheated?
Posted: Jul 2, 2010 12:31 AM

Hi Guys i just posted this in the sex thread..whoops...so here it is in the place i wanted to post it..

so my partner went on a business trip and while he was over there we had MAJOR fights...i spent most of the month telling him on the phone that i wasnt sure if i loved him anymore and i thought i needed a break...by the time he got home i was sure i wanted to be with him...but then that night he got a txt from some women...he broke down and admitted that he had slept with her 3 times...because he thought we were over...that he even spoke to me on the phone while she was at his hotel and he told her he was speaking to his parents.

SO...

After a lot of soul searching and couples counselling...ive decided i want to give him another shot...the way i acted and the way i treated him was unacceptable and i can see my part in this all....even tho i hate him for what he has done..him cheating is out of his character....what i want to know is there anyone else out there that has had this happen?

did you manage to work it out..how do you trust again and get the mental images out of your head of your parnter with another women...or should i just go and get revenge sex??

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mainstdancer08 Posts : 140 Registered: 3/27/08
Re: Would you marry someone that had cheated?
Posted: Jul 2, 2010 9:05 PM Go to message in response to: Dani303

I say leave the relationship.

Daisypath Anniversary tickers

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HamzicBride Posts : 178 Registered: 12/28/09
Re: Would you marry someone that had cheated?
Posted: Jul 2, 2010 11:34 PM Go to message in response to: Dani303

Waw, this guy is quick to rebound back. This guy should have been heartbroken at the fact you guys broke up, not already sleeping with someone else. This sounds like a trouble relationship to me so I wouldnt even bother putting anything back together. This guy is not worth your time. Let him go.

As for revenge sex, I hope you were kidding.


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medude Posts : 1 Registered: 7/3/10
Re: Would you marry someone that had cheated?
Posted: Jul 3, 2010 4:12 AM Go to message in response to: Dani303

I think you should ask yourself...
I have a similar story.But I was at fault...I slept with another girl.I really regret it.Although my ex-girlfriend gave me a chance that we could be together again,she never trusted me and she was always doubting me.And so finally,we broke again and forever.
Do you know?My ex-girlfriend and I had been together for 4 years(since we were freshmen).I loved her very much and so did she.We are still missing each other but the fact is,we can not go back.It is so hard for me to forget her and maybe I will never forget her and our story.We both regret it deeply.It is the biggest pity in my life.

So,I hope you will not regret the decision you will make.

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Dani303 Posts : 18 Registered: 6/3/10
Re: Would you marry someone that had cheated?
Posted: Jul 3, 2010 7:32 AM Go to message in response to: medude

can i ask...why did you cheat? if you loved and wanted your ex so much??

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agd1017 Posts : 464 Registered: 9/14/09
Re: Would you marry someone that had cheated?
Posted: Jul 4, 2010 1:05 AM Go to message in response to: HamzicBride

The title to this thread was, "Would you marry someone that had cheated?" My answer to that is no. Something happened in his life/relationship that made him feel that sleeping with someone else was ok. Even within a few days of breaking up with you (or thinking you two were broken up), is a bit bizarre. If he's done it once, whois to say he won't do it again? What if you two get into a huge fight?? Will he go out and sleep with someone else?

As for revenge sex, I think you would hate yourself later for it.

Amanda and Eric
10/10/10

Amanda and Eric

 

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STBMrsBW Posts : 21 Registered: 7/16/10
Re: Would you marry someone that had cheated?
Posted: Jul 20, 2010 4:22 PM Go to message in response to: Dani303

Well, you kinda have a tricky situation. It reminds me of the episode of Friends when Ross and Rachel were on a break and Ross slept with another woman and Rachel said he cheated. You need to look at this from a man's point of view. Most of us women are quick to expect a man to act like us but the truth is they don't. When a man is alone he wants to fill that void. How do most of them do it? Sex. They find someone with no strings attached and screw to their hearts content. Women on the other hand eat, sleep, cry, etc. Most don't have sex to fill that void.
You told him on the phone, while he is in another country, that you wanted a break. You made that decision. Did you tell him this "break" was not you guys breaking up but just a few days of quiet? Did you make it clear that he was not able to see other people? If you didn't then he probably figured that you guys were broken up so he wasn't doing anything wrong in his eyes.
I am not defending him, I am only trying to point out what people often miss, men and women do not run on the same brain. Men think with dicks, women think with hearts. So, if you did not make these things clear to him before and this is the first time this has happened then you need to let it go, there is nothing to forgive since he didn't technically cheat on you, y'all were on a break.
Secondly, never forgive a cheat. And revenge sex is great, but only when done the right way. However, you can't do that since he never cheated.

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