Am I being a bridezilla?

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Agape14 Posts : 201 Registered: 12/31/08
Re: Am I being a bridezilla?
Posted: Jun 26, 2010 9:01 AM Go to message in response to: Nmahoney82

NMA, my grandmother has a great saying:

"Don't drink tea for other people's fever". Meaning exactly what AOTB said, don't make other people's problems your problems.

I think you're totally justified in being annoyed, I would be royally pissed off if someone else's decision had a potentially negative impact on my already made plans. BUT, you've made your plan, people are aware of it, and they'll either come or not.

Plus, besides Obnoxious Bride who decided to book her wedding the week before yours, any number of other people could get engaged and plan for a wedding next summer in the weeks around your date. Summer is crazy wedding season. My photographer is shooting weddings every Saturday and many Sundays from May through August (and even September and October). So besides your wedding, many of the guests potentially have a few other June/July weddings and will have to make choices about which to go to. And that it all totally out of your hands unfortunately.

So I agree with the others. 1) feel annoyed and complain to FH. 2) continue with your plans and stop stressing about things that you can't control. And turn your attention back where it belongs, enjoying your engagement and planning your wedding.

And if you're still worried, you can always wish upon a star that Obnoxious Bride's wedding gets cancelled. I'd put that in the Private Thoughts bin though =)

 

 

~~Life's tough, wear a cup~~

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Elbelle77 Posts : 222 Registered: 1/24/08
Re: Am I being a bridezilla?
Posted: Jun 26, 2010 10:26 AM Go to message in response to: Nmahoney82

A few years ago and I had two friends getting married in June. I was asked to be a bridesmaid in my High School friend's wedding and a guest at the college friend's. The weddings were only 2 weeks apart and both about 6-7 hours away. Besides gifts, we had to look at gas money and hotels for these trips. Oh well, I love them both and was planning on attending both. Well, college friend had to change her date because of her FI work schedule and ended up having her wedding on the same day as high school friend. Needless to say, I couldn't go to both and only went to the one that I was the bridesmaid in. I always felt bad about missing college friend's wedding, but there was no way I could attend both on the same day.

Because of this date change, college friend had quite a number of people who had 2 weddings on that day. Some just went to one and one friend actually managed to do both since they were close by.

So, how do you know changing your date will help things? Your guests know your date and already planned for it. If they can only go to one wedding, they will go to the one they were invited to first (make sure you send out your STD's or invitations earlier than the other bride just in case).

I say stick with your date and your plans. Your friends and family love you and will be there, even if they are a little inconvenience by the other wedding.

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auntofthebride Posts : 9,354 Registered: 4/2/06
Re: Am I being a bridezilla?
Posted: Jun 26, 2010 10:31 AM Go to message in response to: Nmahoney82

Dear NMA,

I'll add one more comment.

You say you are considering moving your wedding date for the "convenience" of various guests. In doing so, you are likely inconveniencing other guests who might have already made plans for your original date. After all, you have everything booked for that date so Grandma and Aunt Sally felt safe in booking non-refundable tickets.

There are many people who might see that reasoning as bogus. Instead of thinking "Oh how considerate she is", they might instead think "She is a spotlight hog. She doesn't want her wedding to be overshadowed by another wedding. So, she's making everyone change their plans just so she can have the entire month to herself. What a bridezilla."

Again, these would be Private Thoughts, belonging to an individual guest. That guest's Public Expression would be something like "OK, dear, if that's what you want. I don't mind paying another $500 for another plane ticket, since the non-refundable ticket I already bought, based on your original date, is now useless."

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karebeartg Posts : 831 Registered: 6/25/08
Re: Am I being a bridezilla?
Posted: Jun 26, 2010 11:12 AM Go to message in response to: auntofthebride

Don't move your date. People will make it work.

For example, two years ago, we had our wedding season from hell. Here's the recap of the four weddings we attended on four consecutive weekends. Mind you, I live in MA.

Weekend 1: Guests at friend's wedding on Martha's Vineyard. Drove through Cape traffic, took ferry to and from island. Showed up.
Weekend 2: DH is groomsman in friend's wedding two towns over from us. Attended rehearsal, rehearsal dinner, wedding, etc.
Weekend 3: I am MOH in best friend's wedding. In Orlando, FL. Previously threw her shower, in Orlando. I flew down Wednesday night, we had her bachelorette dinner/spa day on Thursday, DH flew in Friday night, attended rehearsal, rehearsal dinner, hung out the night before, wedding, cleaned up after the wedding. We both flew back Sunday.
Weekend 4: DH is best man in friend's wedding. In Buffalo, NY. Thursday night, he flew into Buffalo. He attended rehearsal, rehearsal dinner, I flew in Friday night, wedding morning brunch, wedding, cleaned up after wedding. We both flew back Sunday.

This was a GIANT pain. Four weekends right in a row. It would have been MUCH easier to decline bridal party invitations/wedding invitations/etc. But we didn't. We, or one of we, attended every. single. thing. Because we wanted to. We made it work.

My point? People will make it work if they really want to.

Honestly, I'd be way more irritated if you changed the date than if someone else scheduled a date near yours. I'm an early planner - part of how we made this work was we saved money early on, I booked nonrefundable flights when they were cheap, etc, etc.

 

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kennysoldwife Posts : 3,859 Registered: 4/28/07
Re: Am I being a bridezilla?
Posted: Jun 26, 2010 3:23 PM Go to message in response to: karebeartg

I also would suggest keeping your date. I have always felt if someone wants to attend a wedding they will. They will work out whatever arrangements are needed to make it.

Last Summer we had a similar scheduling issue as Kare. In one month we had several weddings in one weekend we had three. Friday night my brother's wedding so of course I had to be there. Saturday DH best friend since childhood so we had to attend that one too. We had one Sunday. I was so glad to go back to work.

 

 

 

Kenny and me perfect together, 10 years and counting

Sucks to be you, So glad I am me

Proud Member of P.O.O.P,  People Offended by Offended People

wedding websites

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Nmahoney82 Posts : 23 Registered: 5/19/10
Re: Am I being a bridezilla?
Posted: Jul 2, 2010 11:15 PM Go to message in response to: kennysoldwife

Well, here is for a late night update (wine and peanut M&M's included and FH hubby working on the ambulance all night)

We haven't sent out the save the dates yet, and most people know the date however. I asked the pastor what she thought, she said that late August would work better since they're repainting the church or something. I feel like if I keep my date, i'm pushing too close to her date, and even though i want to rip her face off, i truly do want her to have HER day to herself without people worrying about my day a week later, just as much as I want my day.

I think moving it is better, the FH is ok with it and said he actually likes August weddings better than July. so this could be a blessing in a nut-case bride clothing? Either way, the principal of it all still pisses me off. Especially since one of the bridesmaids backed out on my wedding for hers. UGHHHHH i think going to Vegas is a better idea....

BUT happy note, I just bought my FH's groom's gift and wedding ring today :)

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