Wow, maybe you should find some different friends! While I was reading your post I was thinking that something was probably off with your 2nd BM (duh, right). Maybe she and her supposedly awesome boyfriend aren't doing too well; maybe their relationship is rocky. On top of that she may be jealous of you and your upcoming wedding, could be her BF isn't wanting to get married and she is... there's any number of possibilities.

She was more than likely drunk and possibly stressed (who knows what's going on in her life) and was releasing that by making out with a stranger. I don't excuse her actions at all. Cheating is wrong. She probably just wanted everyone to butt out of her business. Yes, she was making a mistake, but she's a big girl. She knew what she was doing and the consequences that would follow. She didn't care, and was tired of you trying to talk her out of it.

She did make mistakes that night, but it sounds like no one really took the time to find out what was causing her to make these choices and fly off the handle like she did. Does she have any chemical imbalance: depression, bipolar, anxiety, etc? Do you know what is happening in her life with her boyfriend/at work/with her family/financially? She may be going through something that you know nothing about.

I would've suggested you talk to her face to face and find out what is going on and offered to be her friend--it sounds like she needs one. You should've gotten to the bottom of her issues before kicking her out of your WP (it sounds pretty cold to me) and then possibly given her the choice to back out or stay in. Or you could've put her on WP "probation" and said, "one more incident and you're out". But what's done is done, I hope that you are still able to be friends with her and that she gets help if she needs it. Hope the rest of your WP sticks around til your wedding!

True love is like a ghost which many talk about but few have ever seen.

I haven't asked/announced my wedding party yet because of this very thing! When my sister got married, she had such major bridal party drama. I was the only one who made it all the way through the planning! She originally asked one of her sister in laws in an effort to smooth some ruffled feathers, but that didn't work out. Then she asked a good friend from high school and a good friend from work. The friend from work helped out a bit and then literally disappeared from my sister's life! She had to call her and ask her if she still wanted to be in the wedding and the girl never even responded. So my sister asked another hometown friend. The two friends who were in the wedding ended up in a fight (they were roommates) that ended in one of them saying nasty things about my sister. So, needless to say, my sister asked the one friend to step down.

So you are not alone!!!

So when I got engaged, my sister almost immediately told me to wait to announce the wedding party until closer to the wedding.

I had to go through the hassle of firing a BM. I asked one of my oldest friends to be a maid (although she hasn't always been the greatest friend, which should have been my first warning) but she was my oldest. Unfortunately, shes chronically flaky, unreliable, and totally selfish.
I tried to include her in things, tried to get together just to hang out, and she would always say yes she'd be there, then last minute decide she can't come because she was either hungover, or some other lame excuse. I just got tired of her Bulls**t and told her she was just not a reliable person and that I thought it was best if she wasn't in the wedding, for the sake of retaining any of what was left of our "friendship". She was a little ticked, but I felt I made the right decision. I ultimately invited her to the wedding, and would have understood if she didn't want to come. I told her I'm sorry that out friendship was on the rocks but she needs to realize tha she's never treated me with the same respect I had always given her, we talked it out and I thought it would be fine.
So she came to the wedding ( dressed in the sluttiest dress ever worn to a wedding) and proceeded during the reception to mock everything, saying she was glad she wasn't in the wedding( the bitterness tells me different) talking smack about me the whole time. Another friend of mine wanted to smack her out but didnt want to cause a scene. But everyone within earshot was disgusted with her behaviour.
Once I found out about all this I called her to confront her, and asked how she could sit there and mock me on what was the best day of my life. I told her I invited her to try and save what was left, but the effort was wasted, and if she had felt the way she did then she should have declined my invite. She denied it, and started into me about me not being a good friend either because I hadn't invited all our old friends ( ridiculous argument) WAS SHE PAYING? nope, I had a budget, but thats beside the point.
Needless to say, I have cut her out of my life completely, and don't feel bad about it, probably should have done it years ago, but I had always kind of let myself be a doormat for her.

Sidenote: another good friend of mine didn't get asked because she NEVER made time for me, but I always made the effort to see her, so I didn't ask her, and asked someone I had just recently became close to , because sadly, even after only knowing her for a little under a year, she was a better friend then all me old friends put together. When my old friend asked why she didnt get asked after I fired my first girl, I told her: one=- I didnt feel we were as close as we used to be, plus you never made the time to see me when you knew i made an effort for you, and two: she told me she wasnt even sure she could make it to the wedding. She did, but at the time when I was choosing maids, I felt she might let me down too. The new close friend actually ended up being my most involved, reliable happy maid at the wedding, even more helpful than my own sister...and my husbands sister was also a rockstar bridesmaid.
I'm rambling...but it does feel good to rant sometimes...I definetely agree with waiting to choose your maids, it may save alot of hassle...but not too long..I work at a bridal store, and if you have to order maids dresses, you need to leave enough time for that, and Ive witnessed friends before who had picked out large partys, to have a fallout with one of them after dresses are ordered, then having to find a replacement maid that fits the dress, not one that she is close to, I don't think that's what a maids party is supposed to be about.

Good luck to all brides with maids issues!
I found the man of my dreams, and he's even better in person! <3

Alcohol can do weird things to people, especially when they're angry, stressed out, or unhappy over something else. I know I can't drink if I'm pissed off about something because it WILL come out if I'm drunk - and it will come out in ways I would never expect from myself.

I'm not saying that that is any excuse for her, but have you considered the possibility that there's something seriously wrong? If she's not normally a drinker, the fact that she got that drunk and behaved so recklessly would be a major red flag for me. If she is normally a drinker and this is incredibly uncharacteristic behavior for her, I'd also be pretty concerned. I'm not saying that you should invite her back into your WP, but it sounds like there's something wrong and if I were in your shoes, I'd be concerned. For all you know, the guy could have drugged her or something. That would explain uncharacteristic behavior and loss of memory. That would be my biggest concern if a friend was out in public and started behaving that way. I would talk to her. Of course, if she has a history of drama, then that's probably all it was.

Vice President and Guardian of the Toilet Brush of POOP: People Offended by Offended People

Unfortunately, this behavior was not that much of a stretch for her. She has a REALLY bad temper, and I have seen her flare up pretty good before, especially while drinking, but I just never thought that it would be directed at myself or my/our friends. I do feel bad for her, because I know that she is having some issues right now, but it's just not an excuse for that kind of behavior. I do want to try to give her another chance, but it will have to be after the wedding. It just wouldn't be fair to everyone else in the wedding party to make them have to deal with this super awkward situation at our destination wedding--plus, who's to say that it wouldn't happen again?

Oh, and on the "memory loss" thing- she claims that she doesn't remember saying the things she said, or getting so violent- however- I am calling BS on that, because she somehow remembers everything that happened or was said just minutes after the incident. I think that she is just trying to make excuses for her crazy behavior.

It's kinda funny though, looking back now- both of the girls that I have lost as bridesmaids were both friends that I had known for years- we were close when we were younger, but had grown apart as adults. Also, both of them were always a little on the odd/crazy side, and none of my other friends, or my family, really liked them. I was always having to defend them, and stick up for them, because I really believed that although they could be pretty crazy and irrational at times, that deep down they were really good people, and good friends. Maybe this is a pretty big clue that I was wrong all along. It's sad to think that, but at least the silver lining to all this drama is that somehow the universe is weeding the bad, crazy people out of my life!

Cheetah, alcohol isn't evil. I rather enjoy a nice glass of wine from time to time. But what is horrible about it is that people abuse alcohol and also use it as an excuse to behave badly.

If you're drinking and still able to pack a bag, take a taxi, and get on a plane (btw, airlines don't usually let you fly if they think you're too drunk)...you're reasonably in control of your faculties and IMO can definitely be held accountable for your actions. Jaime Foxx got it wrong, don't blame it on the alcohol

~~Life's tough, wear a cup~~

Cheetah, alcohol isn't evil. I rather enjoy a nice glass of wine from
time to time. But what is horrible about it is that people abuse alcohol
and also use it as an excuse to behave badly.

If you're drinking and still able to pack a bag, take a taxi, and get on
a plane (btw, airlines don't usually let you fly if they think you're
too drunk)...you're reasonably in control of your faculties and IMO can
definitely be held accountable for your actions.

I'm 100% with Agape on this - and I've been around plenty of people who can't drink responsibly. One 'friend' recently had this issue repeatedly - and she's no longer invited to our get togethers, etc. I felt bad for her with her divorce but she continues to engage in the destructive behavior that got her there - so I cut her out of my life.

Also if the chick in question remembered everything right before she was throwing crap and right after (as the OP has indicated in following posts) - then I'm with the OP on calling BS on her not remembering the 'throwing crap' part of the evening.