Vent: OOT Guests

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Agape14 Posts : 201 Registered: 12/31/08
Vent: OOT Guests
Posted: Jun 15, 2010 8:11 AM

Dear OOT Guests,

We understand that it might be more convenient/cheaper for you to stay at our house in the days before the wedding, and while we would normally love to host you (or would at least tolerate it), it is NOT convenient for us around wedding time for a variety of reasons, a few of which I'll share here.


1) Guess what, you're not the only person asking to stay with us. And if we say no to Aunt Betty and her brood, we can't very well say yes to you and yours.

2) Believe it or not, in the days leading up to the wedding I'll have things to do other than entertain you and making sure my house looks appropriate to host guests.

3) In the midst of the million and one family events before and after the wedding, we were looking forward to being able to go home at the end of the night, alone, to decompress.

So, OOT guests, stop assuming our house is a hotel and if you ask me "but aren't I more important than Aunt Betty", I"ll probably say no.

It's days like today that I think I should've just done a DW to Mexico,saved myself the hassle, and essentially let everyone else foot the bill for the wedding. DW brides might have the right idea...

 

 

~~Life's tough, wear a cup~~

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ArtBride Posts : 4,838 Registered: 5/9/07
Re: Vent: OOT Guests
Posted: Jun 15, 2010 8:25 AM Go to message in response to: Agape14

Wow, our wedding was about 80-90% OOT guests and NO ONE asked to stay with us! I'm amazed that so many people are asking you that. I've been to many weddings as an OOT guest and it would never occur to me to ask whether I could stay with the couple getting married. If it was, say, my sibling and the wedding was in my hometown, I'd probably assume I could stay with my parents, but that's another story.

DaisypathWedding Ticker

Vice President and Guardian of the Toilet Brush of POOP: People Offended by Offended People

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cyndi33 Posts : 2,585 Registered: 1/3/07
Re: Vent: OOT Guests
Posted: Jun 15, 2010 10:07 AM Go to message in response to: ArtBride

Same with us, we did offer my brother to stay but we wouldn't have had to be 'hosts' for him and they ended up in a hotel anyway. All but DH's sis and his partners were OOT guests with us.

 Proud Member of P.O.O.P.,  People Offended by Offended People

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Elbelle77 Posts : 222 Registered: 1/24/08
Re: Vent: OOT Guests
Posted: Jun 15, 2010 11:05 AM Go to message in response to: cyndi33

We invited any of our bridal party to stay with us before the wedding because none of us have tons of money and we thought it would be fun all being together again (DH and I met in college so both sides of the bridal party were good friends). We ended up having 7people staying over 2 days before the wedding. It was fun, but very chaotic, our house isn't big, so there were beds and bodies everywhere. Luckily the night before the wedding me and my girls all stayed the hotel. I didn't even want to think about what 6 guys were doing at our house that night. Coming back to the house after the wedding there were pillows and blankets and dirty dishes everywhere. Not what I wanted to come home to. Luckily our friends were very helpful in cleaning it up with us before they left so we could come home to clean house after the honeymoon.

So looking back, it was lots of fun to be altogether at our house, but I don't think I'd do that again. I'd say stay in a hotel.

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Agape14 Posts : 201 Registered: 12/31/08
Re: Vent: OOT Guests
Posted: Jun 15, 2010 12:05 PM Go to message in response to: Elbelle77

El, I shudder at the thought...coming home to other people's mess would piss me off to the Nth degree...(my own mess is one thing =)

Art, part of the problem is that in our family you pretty much always stay at someone's house when you're visiting their city. And that's generally fine with us because it's isolated incidents and individual families. But obviously with the wedding, everyone's descending on our town at the same time, and most just assume they can stay at our place. And they just don't get it when I say that we can't possibly host everyone, so we're hosting no one.

And I'd be more inclined to help people make alternate arrangements if it wasn't for their presumptuous and demanding attitude. It's making me very cranky...I shouldn't be allowed to speak to others in this frame of mind...

 

 

~~Life's tough, wear a cup~~

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cyndi33 Posts : 2,585 Registered: 1/3/07
Re: Vent: OOT Guests
Posted: Jun 15, 2010 12:49 PM Go to message in response to: Agape14

Agape, that is how our families are for Christmas, and, the year that my family AND his family came, they got super irritated when we said our house was full (with my family) and so HIS family would have to stay at his sis's house, which is 45 min. away. They thought we should host BOTH families, in our 4 bedroom house, including the 6 kids we already have, plus my mom, her husband, my daughter, her husband, and my brother, his wife and one boy.

We said no, but it caused a virtual WWIII for awhile. My family will stay in hotels, though, his family will not.

This causes additional issues sometimes, like if we have to visit his cousins (which we don't anymore) but when we did, not only did we have to stay there and endure the VERY chilly reception/atmosphere, we ALSO had to pay them $100.

Generally, like with your family, it isn't an issue because it isn't the entire family. But, I would be feeling exactly like you are! Your hosting no one rule is totally acceptable, imo. Like AOTB always says, if they want to fuss about it, they can go pound sand.

 Proud Member of P.O.O.P.,  People Offended by Offended People

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ArtBride Posts : 4,838 Registered: 5/9/07
Re: Vent: OOT Guests
Posted: Jun 15, 2010 1:57 PM Go to message in response to: Elbelle77

Coming back to the house after the wedding there were pillows and blankets and dirty dishes everywhere. Not what I wanted to come home to.

LOL, that's what we came home to as well! Not because we had 7 people, but because we really didn't have any time to clean up! :)

Agape, people usually stay at one another's houses in our families, too - but for the wedding, I don't think anybody even considered asking to stay with us because they knew that both families and most of the guests were also coming in from OOT and we couldn't accomodate everyone. The same with us, when visiting family for weddings. The last time we had a family wedding was my BIL's, and DH and I chose to stay with my parents because we knew DH's parents would be busy. They DID offer to host quite a few people at their house and from what I've heard, it was a disaster, so I'm glad we were at my parents's house!

DaisypathWedding Ticker

Vice President and Guardian of the Toilet Brush of POOP: People Offended by Offended People

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mrscreamer2be Posts : 153 Registered: 6/14/09
Re: Vent: OOT Guests
Posted: Jun 16, 2010 9:14 PM Go to message in response to: Agape14

Don't do it!!! I had a friend stay in our house on wedding day because we were spending our wedding night at the hotel we got married at. At 10, it was him calling because he couldn't find my house key and my dogs were barking at him!

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