How to invite people the reception for dancing but not dinner??

Online Users: 0 guest(s), 0 user(s). Replies: 7

smferg3311 Posts : 1 Registered: 6/11/10
How to invite people the reception for dancing but not dinner??
Posted: Jun 11, 2010 3:48 PM

My fiance and I are looking at a guest list of about 200 people and $100 a person because both of our immediate families are so large. We want to include a lot of our college friends and such, but dont want to have to pay for all the extra people that we arent as close to to eat. We would like to invite them for dancing and the other festivities after dinner. What is the best way to do this/ phrase it on an invite?

Reply


August28th Posts : 153 Registered: 1/28/09
Re: How to invite people the reception for dancing but not dinner??
Posted: Jun 11, 2010 4:11 PM Go to message in response to: smferg3311

Sorry to be blunt, but I find that idea to be very rude and very tacky. "We like you enough to invite you to give us a gift and dance the Electric Slide with us, but not enough to feed you and have you in our presence while we eat."

If I got an invitation inviting me to dance (I'm assuming they're invited to the ceremony too) but not eat--but to bring a gift, I'd be very insulted. If you can't afford to feed 200 people, you need to cut your guestlist down or plan a less formal event, that is the only way to gracefully invite people to your ENTIRE wedding.

I'm sure etiquette pros and other people (opinionated or not) will put their 2 cents in on this. This is just mine. Good luck!!


True love is like a ghost which many talk about but few have ever seen.

Reply


cyndi33 Posts : 2,585 Registered: 1/3/07
Re: How to invite people the reception for dancing but not dinner??
Posted: Jun 11, 2010 5:29 PM Go to message in response to: smferg3311

In short, you don't. THere is NO good way to do that. I agree with the PPs completely.

 Proud Member of P.O.O.P.,  People Offended by Offended People

Reply


auntofthebride Posts : 9,354 Registered: 4/2/06
Re: How to invite people the reception for dancing but not dinner??
Posted: Jun 11, 2010 5:54 PM Go to message in response to: smferg3311

dear SM,

If you do that, you'll look like an incredibly rude cheapskate.

"You are good enough to give me a gift, but not good enough for the A-list dinner."

If I got an invitation like that, I would skip the whole thing and drop the friendship.

Reply

ElleNChuck Posts : 50 Registered: 6/10/10
Re: How to invite people the reception for dancing but not dinner??
Posted: Jun 11, 2010 8:05 PM Go to message in response to: smferg3311

There's no good way to do it. You'll either have to cut the guest list, or cut your food budget. What about doing a reception later in the evening (past dinner time, say 8 ish) and having heavy hor d'oeuvres inst.ead of a huge meal? Or instead of a full bar just beer and wine? There are a lot of ways to cut down your cost per person if you can't cut the guest list. But you absolutely CAN NOT invite people to half of the reception. Well, I suppose you could, but it would look really bad.

Reply


dodgercpkl Posts : 130 Registered: 9/27/09
Re: How to invite people the reception for dancing but not dinner??
Posted: Jun 11, 2010 8:29 PM Go to message in response to: smferg3311

My suggestion to you would be to have a fun informal party for your co-workers (or whoever else you wanted to invite to the dancing but not dinner) on another day. Label it as an "I got married - Let's party!" type of invitation.

I guess I try and look at things as to how I would feel if the situation was reversed. I.E. I walk into the room 5 hours after the wedding ceremony, to see tables and chairs that were obviously in the room for a reason. I think I'd feel a bit hurt and second class. On the otherhand, if you go with a party on another day, it's a seperate event and can be handled as such.


Reply


agd1017 Posts : 464 Registered: 9/14/09
Re: How to invite people the reception for dancing but not dinner??
Posted: Jun 12, 2010 11:17 AM Go to message in response to: dodgercpkl

I agree with the others. You cannot do what you were suggesting, without looking very bad. I also agree with dodger- have a party sometime after the wedding- within a few months or so- and invite all those who otherwise would not be invited to your wedding dinner.

Amanda and Eric
10/10/10

Amanda and Eric

 

Reply


auntofthebride Posts : 9,354 Registered: 4/2/06
Re: How to invite people the reception for dancing but not dinner??
Posted: Jun 12, 2010 12:14 PM Go to message in response to: dodgercpkl

Dear Dodger,

"My suggestion to you would be to have a fun informal party for your co-workers (or whoever else you wanted to invite to the dancing but not dinner) on another day. Label it as an "I got married - Let's party!" type of invitation. "

Good idea.. but... that might look as if the couple are still expecting wedding gifts.

Reply
RSS

Thank You
for Signing Up!

Check your e-mail inbox for the latest updates from brides.com

Give a Subscription to Brides Magazine as a Gift
Subscribe to Brides magazine