Who's the Maid of Honor

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pattys10 Posts : 1 Registered: 4/2/10
Who's the Maid of Honor
Posted: Jun 10, 2010 10:48 AM

Okay! I'm not sure who to choose for my maid of honor. This is my second marriage. I had my sister my first wedding, so I don't think I should do that again. I am close to my 13 year old daughter, but think she may be too young. I have a friend/golf partner that I have been friends with for a few years, and would love to have, but it's only been recently that we are becoming closer and I feel the maid of honor should be someone who you've been close to over the years. I have another good friend that has been there for me & I have known her for many years & have shared a lot with and would be the likely candidate, but I have reserves about her. She & my fiance can butt heads at times. I get along great with my 8 soon to be sister in laws, but not sure I could choose one of them. So, I'm looking for direction! Thanks!


MrsCP3 Posts : 456 Registered: 4/21/08
Re: Who's the Maid of Honor
Posted: Jun 10, 2010 11:34 AM Go to message in response to: pattys10

When my dad married my stepmom, I was 10 and my stepbrother was 13. I was my stepmom's MOH and my stepbrother was my dad's BM. When my mom and stepdad were married 3 years later, I was my mom's MOH and my stepdad's son was his BM. So obviously, my vote is your daughter! I always thought it was really cool of my parents to have their kids as their only attendants, and I felt really special to be included in such an important way.





auntofthebride Posts : 9,354 Registered: 4/2/06
Re: Who's the Maid of Honor
Posted: Jun 10, 2010 11:47 AM Go to message in response to: pattys10

Dear Patty,

What's wrong with asking your sister again? She's still your sister, she still loves you, and you still love her. (I assume.)

Next, I see nothing wrong with asking your 13-year old to be a maid of honor. Sure, she's young, but she's your daughter. She won't be in a position to plan and fund a shower or bachelorette party, but someone else might offer.

I can't see passing over your sister and your daughter in favor of a golf buddy, expecially a golf buddy with whom you've had some issues.


cyndi33 Posts : 2,585 Registered: 1/3/07
Re: Who's the Maid of Honor
Posted: Jun 10, 2010 11:53 AM Go to message in response to: auntofthebride

We only had our kids as attendants, and 2 nephews cause they wanted to be included also. Ranged in age from 6 - 19. Of course, we didn't want a shower or bachelor/bachelorette party. Never even crossed our minds that we'd consider something like that. ANyway, my vote is your daughter.

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CheetahAngel Posts : 2,017 Registered: 11/29/08
Re: Who's the Maid of Honor
Posted: Jun 10, 2010 12:08 PM Go to message in response to: pattys10

I say have both your sister and your daugther as your maid of honor! Your daugther can be your Jr. Maid of Honor :)


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KCI Posts : 150 Registered: 3/30/09
Re: Who's the Maid of Honor
Posted: Jun 10, 2010 3:27 PM Go to message in response to: CheetahAngel

I love Cheetah's idea: MOH and Jr. MOH - there's no reason you can't ask your sister again. I'm sure she would be thrilled. But just because you're daughter is only 13 doesn't mean she can do it.

If you choose one or the other I'd say go for your daughter. But both would be cool too.

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myras Posts : 396 Registered: 2/26/10
Re: Who's the Maid of Honor
Posted: Jun 10, 2010 7:20 PM Go to message in response to: pattys10

Have you thought about not having any attendants? You really don't need them for anything, and at this point, I'll be that they'll all be thrilled to just sit back and be guests. If you don't love that idea, I'd go with the closest person to you and the one most likely to be able to help you--if that's the same sister, so be it. Let her wear what she wants, and spare her as much expense as you can; since this is a second, more mature wedding, you probably do not need the shower, bachelorette, or full array of costumed bridesmaids that you might have with a first wedding. If it doesn't cost her a lot, I'm sure she'd be thrilled to stand with you.


2dBride Posts : 158 Registered: 3/16/09
Re: Who's the Maid of Honor
Posted: Jun 14, 2010 2:01 AM Go to message in response to: pattys10

The actual duties of a MOH are to show up on the day, dress in whatever you've picked out for her to wear, and smile sweetly. A 13-year-old could definitely handle all that! And ten years from now, I suspect you'd rather see your daughter in the wedding photos than to see a friend with whom you might or might not have stayed in contact. Not to mention the fact that a parent's remarriage is always somewhat stressful for the kids, so giving her a big part in your wedding could help to get the new family off to a good start.

My daughter was older than yours is when she was my MOH. (She was 25.) However, I still did not expect her to organize bachelorette parties or showers for me, or even to hold my dress while I peed. I didn't want showers. Friends organized two different bachelorette parties for us. And I researched (and wrote an article on) how to use the bathroom without assistance while wearing a wedding dress. What I really wanted was to have my family there and supporting us during our wedding, and that's what we got.

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wzq103 Posts : 1,190 Registered: 9/11/12
Re: Who's the Maid of Honor
Posted: Sep 12, 2012 12:54 PM Go to message in response to: pattys10

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