MOH help

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Linny427 Posts : 1 Registered: 2/20/10
MOH help
Posted: Jun 6, 2010 12:33 PM

Hi,
So when I got engaged in Feb I asked a girl i had known for about a month to be my MOH. I have mostly guy friends and my sisters would get mad if i asked only 1 of them to be MOh so theyre just bridesmaids. Anyhow in the past few months the girls I asked to be my moh has been acting very different. I guess I didn't know the REAL her when I asked her. She is negative about everything from a new job i got to just everything. She has shown no interest in the wedding and the same no interest in getting to together to hang out, and the only time she has wanted to talk really was when her boyfriend went out of town. I don't know what to do, because at this point if it weren't for having asked her to be in the wedding I highly doubt we'd even be friends. So I don't want someone to stand up with me who doesn't really want to be there, and that later on in life i would see in pics and not talk to. I think if i asked her if she really wanted to still do this she would say yes just because she had always told me she would, but wouldn't be into it. Some other boards said I cannot ask someone to step down , but what if they show no interest and in general without a wedding going on we wouldn't be talking. Please help

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PharmToxGirl Posts : 5,446 Registered: 8/30/07
Re: MOH help
Posted: Jun 6, 2010 1:09 PM Go to message in response to: Linny427

OK. The usual advice on here is that if you are prepared to not be friends with them anymore, you can ask them to step down. It's obviously not considered to be in the best of taste BUT if you feel this way NOW, I don't know how you are going to make it to March of 2011.

And, to anyone else looking to do their wedding party - PLEASE don't do it too early, you'd be surprised about how much can change AND think about who you are asking (as in the OP's case, someone you've known for a short time is probably not the best choice - sorry OP not trying to rub it in, just warning others).

So, yes you can kick her out of the WP, there are just repursussions for that - but it sounds like you are prepared for them.

 

 

 

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springorchid Posts : 176 Registered: 4/8/07
Re: MOH help
Posted: Jun 6, 2010 3:09 PM Go to message in response to: PharmToxGirl

PTG, you should be careful before giving such sound, universal advice...

This is HER day, and YES, IT IS THAT BAD. Besides, I'm sure this MOH has insulted her wedding gown and cursed her relationship.

On the other hand, she might actually be really gracious about getting reasonable advice.

OP, I suggest you remove her from your BP because, as you said, if it weren't for the wedding you probably wouldn't be friends.

And its posts like this that keep me from deciding on my wedding party....

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PharmToxGirl Posts : 5,446 Registered: 8/30/07
Re: MOH help
Posted: Jun 6, 2010 3:27 PM Go to message in response to: springorchid

SO - Are you referring to another thread with a similar situation that I replied to recently?

EDIT: OK now I know you are as I read the third line in more detail. I know you would think I would be gun shy about this situation and replying.

OP - There was a similar thread on here recently called How do I... It was, ummm interesting.




Edited by: PharmToxGirl on Jun 6, 2010 3:28 PM

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springorchid Posts : 176 Registered: 4/8/07
Re: MOH help
Posted: Jun 6, 2010 3:38 PM Go to message in response to: PharmToxGirl

PTG, yep, that was the exact post I was refering to. You were so nice about it and she went all bridezilla on you. Some people...

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auntofthebride Posts : 9,354 Registered: 4/2/06
Re: MOH help
Posted: Jun 6, 2010 4:56 PM Go to message in response to: Linny427

Dear Linny,

You have sisters, but asked none of them to be a maid of honor, then asked someone you had only known a month? And now this person who you have only known a month is going negative on you?

Hmmm.... where to start.

Obviously you don't have a lot invested in this friendship, nor does she. Boot her.

Then, ask one of your sisters or one of your male friends. Someone you REALLY care about and who REALLY cares about you.

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August28th Posts : 153 Registered: 1/28/09
Re: MOH help
Posted: Jun 6, 2010 9:26 PM Go to message in response to: Linny427

I can see where your MOH is coming from. I would imagine you are excited about your wedding and like to talk about it a great deal. If I were her, I wouldn't care to talk wedding talk with someone I'd known only a month. I mean she really has nothing invested in your friendship, so how can she be happy or excited for someone she's just met? However I do not condone her attitude, I understand what a negative MOH is like, I had one! It's a pain and it ruins your experience--and adds to the stress! You said that you doubt you'd still be friends if it wasn't for her being your MOH, so I say let her go. You can have both your sisters be MOH, there's no rule saying you can only have one. Good luck!!

True love is like a ghost which many talk about but few have ever seen.

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