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Wedding Planning & Etiquette

help...

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Alvis Posts : 1 Registered: 2/10/10

help...: Posted: May 31, 2010 12:37 PM; so my hunny and I just got engaged two days ago and we have already been figuring out our wedding plans...we want a small wedding with just imideat family...and then we want a reception for everyone else. but the problem is we don't have a lot of money..but if we don't envite or have a reception we will have alot of hurt people. we will probably have around 200 to 250 guests we are having a hard time figuring out the food. we need it farly cheap...

colorado_mountains , may_2011

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auntofthebride Posts : 9,357 Registered: 4/2/06

Re: help...: Posted: May 31, 2010 12:43 PM Go to message in response to: Alvis; Dear Alvis,

Unless you went to get into Debt Hell, you must plan a reception that you can afford.

Make a list of the people you want to invite. Divide that list into "Must" and "Maybe". Get a total.

Now, write down your budget. Divide and see what kind of money you have per person.

Next, call a few reception venue and see what costs they offer, per head. That will give you a better idea of who you can invite and what kinds of costs are involved.

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myras Posts : 396 Registered: 2/26/10

Re: help...: Posted: May 31, 2010 1:53 PM Go to message in response to: Alvis; First of all, figure out what "fairly cheap" actually means. come up with a number that you can afford. And be sure you know who's supplying that money--you, parents, others. Next, figure out how many people you absolutely "must" invite--200-250 is a lot of people, unless your immediate families are both gargantuan. "Must" you include children, relatives that you hardly ever see, workmates, friends of your parents (but not of yours), etc.? Pare down your list as much as possible. You say that you want a small, intimate wedding and later reception. But, if you're church members and decide to have your wedding at your church, you might save money by using the church facility for your reception. If not, figure out where you can accomodate this number of guests and not break the bank. Does someone have a home with a nice backyard to lend you? Is there a local park? Do you have a favorite restaurant or club that might give you a break on price? Know also that you can plan so that you do not have to serve a full, sit-down meal on a Saturday night. You could do a breakfast or a brunch (especially good because expectations for alcohol are much less), an afternoon tea, a late evening dessert reception, a picnic or barbecue, all for a lot less money than a full, sit-down dinner. I just went to a wedding where ceremony and reception were held in a favorite bar/night club of the couple. Food was heavy appetizers--the hit of the evening were the hamburger sliders, just showing that you don't have to be formal to feed people well.
myra@classysassyweddings.com

november_1975 , colorado_mountains , may_2011

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chris42005 Posts : 89 Registered: 4/6/10

Re: help...: Posted: Jun 2, 2010 2:29 PM Go to message in response to: Alvis; You maybe able to get away with doing an outside location for free at a park or a family/friend's house for your recpetion. Think buffet and think diy. If you or someone in your family loves to cook you might be able to cook most of the food and just have to buy a cake. Have someone to sit with you and think outside of the box for your reception. You will be surprised what you will be able to do for for "fairly cheap" and it not look it.

florida , colorado_mountains , march_2016 , may_2011

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MikaylaK Posts : 53 Registered: 5/23/10

Re: help...: Posted: Jun 2, 2010 8:17 PM Go to message in response to: chris42005; I've always been a bit weary of the whole 'a lot of hurt people if i don't do something' concept. I understand that your wedding is something you want to share with your family and friends, but like various PPs have said, it is not a reason to fall into debt.

You are under no obligation to please a crowd. It's your wedding, and your only duty is to your future husband: marrying him. You don't need a huge, lavish wedding, when you can have a great event in more simple (yet not less meaningful) ways.

If you find that you can only host a small number of people, then so be it. 200- 250 is a LOT of people, and to feed them will be indeed difficult. Like the PP said, DIY is your friend. Enlist friends to help with the cooking (make a sort of party out of it, so they don't feel like they're doing all the work for you, and, of course, be involved in the process).

I know what it feels like, to have to 'deny' some people the chance to share this moment with you. It's not your first choice, but sometimes, it has to be done (because of circumstances like the ones you mention, for instance).

Apologies if I sound a bit snappy. I come from a culture where everyone expects you to do things for them, and if you don't, they get upset. And this is highly unfair. If you cannot afford a wedding with all the people you'd like to have, you'll have to choose, and the rest will have to accept your decision.

One gives what one can give.

colorado_mountains , june_2011 , march_2016 , florida , all_others , may_2011

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springorchid Posts : 176 Registered: 4/8/07

Re: help...: Posted: Jun 2, 2010 9:37 PM Go to message in response to: Alvis; You could do a morning ceremony and a lunch reception. Food Cost= Sandwiches or BBQ and Lemonade

You could do an afternoon ceremony and a cocktail reception. Food Cost=Alcohol + Finger Foods

You could do a late ceremony and a late night reception. Food Cost= Alcohol and Finger Foods

You could do a 6pm ceremony followed by a seated or buffet reception on an off day (tues, weds, thurs): Food Cost=Discounted Food +Alcohol

Or no alcohol. Or all backyard DIY.

NOTE: If your reception does NOT include a full meal make very sure your guests know this. As a guest I can understand a couple not being in a position to feed everyone a full meal, but I want to know BEFORE I'm sitting at the party starved because there was only Crudités. 200 hungry people does not make for a good time.

colorado_mountains , southern_shore_new_jersey , may_2011 , june_2011

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wzq103 Posts : 2,771 Registered: 9/11/12

Re: help...: Posted: Sep 20, 2012 4:18 PM Go to message in response to: Alvis; Ball Gown Strapless Ruffles Organza Wedding Dress Style Giselle
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JenniferWillson Posts : 2,083 Registered: 9/12/12

Re: help...: Posted: Dec 14, 2012 4:31 PM Go to message in response to: Alvis; Wedding dresses from famous wedding designers are promoting now.
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