I really dislike it when a woman thinks that she has more of a say in child-rearing than the man just because she is the one with a uterus and vagina :P
I am very headstrong, but my child is not just my child but also my husband's, and unless the parenting choice affected my body directly (like prenatal bloodwork, for example) his say is equal!
And there is my rant for the day.
In your BIL's situation, though, I agree that there must be more going on with the wife. Otherwise you think they'd be unable to compromise (ie kid sleeps in the parent's bed a couple of nights a week, in his own bed the rest of the time)
I'm sad for your BIL - it must be no fun to work so hard and then just fight during what is supposed to be your leisure time.
Is there a particular reason that the child, who previously slept as a baby and toddler in his own room, needs to sleep with the parents?
I'm a proponent of the family bed, but in this case, it seems odd that the child slept by himself for a long time and all of a sudden needs to sleep with the parents. Perhaps there are other issues for reasons that aren't immediately apparent.
Actually, I'm under the impression that he's slept with his parents for quite some time. Perhaps I didn't make that clear in my original post. He has his own bedroom that had a crib in it and now has a big-boy bed in it, but my impression is that he has mostly slept with his parents at night and in his own room for naps. Granted, I do not live with them, nor do I live close enough to visit often, so I don't know how day-to-day life is at their house, but as I understand it, he has generally slept with his parents. He's about 3 and a half - four in October.
Anyway, no updates on this. As I said when I originally posted, we only heard BIL's side of the story and I didn't intend to specifically ask SIL about it, as it's really not my business. I've talked to her plenty of times since then and she's never brought it up (nor has BIL brought it up again), so my guess is that he blew the issue out of proportion at the time.
Also, keep in mind that I'm only telling one side of the story. I don't know the whole backstory to this issue, so perhaps he throws fits when expected to sleep alone or gets sick from the terror of it or something. Some kids have a harder time sleeping than others - so if everybody gets a crappy night's sleep if he sleeps alone, I understand why his mother might want to sleep with him, and I understand that it might take months to transition him to sleeping alone. I don't think it's necessarily weird - nor do I think it's as big an issue as my BIL made it out to be.
Of course, there are a million other things at play here, too, as there are between all spouses. I don't know for sure, but I think my BIL's frustration about this issue is just a symptom of frustration about larger, general issues about parenting and her parents. Of course, he is not willing to give up her parents's assistance, either, so he's really part of the problem. I love them both, but I really don't have a lot of sympathy for them.
Vice President and Guardian of the Toilet Brush of POOP: People Offended by Offended People