To budget or not to budget.. that is the question

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TripleDagger3 Posts : 6 Registered: 4/5/10
Re: To budget or not to budget.. that is the question
Posted: May 13, 2010 8:01 PM Go to message in response to: auntofthebride

Yes, I asked about cash registries because when my fiance and I moved in together, after we combined all of our things (dishes, pots and pans, bedding...) we had way too much stuff already, so we don't really have anything we need as far as normal things that people register for.

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TripleDagger3 Posts : 6 Registered: 4/5/10
Re: To budget or not to budget.. that is the question
Posted: May 13, 2010 8:17 PM Go to message in response to: ArtBride

Ok, so I am new to posting on this website, and it seems I should be careful with my terminology when posting on this site. When I said my fiance and i live paycheck to paycheck I was simply saying that were not rich, and not poor, we are average people who work a 40 hr week and we live comfortably with what we have. As I said in the post, we are not poverty stricken by any means. and this was only one sentence in my entire post but it seems that some you are focusing only on that one sentence.
I also think that "back yard wedding" was taken was out of context by a lot of people. I was simply using it as a term to describe a smaller wedding, and asking what people thought about doing a small wedding and saving money vs. having a big wedding.
I have only posted twice on this site so far, and I really appreciate the people who took time to actually read what I wrote, who didn't take it completely out of context, your posts definitely helped!!!
:-)

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agd1017 Posts : 464 Registered: 9/14/09
Re: To budget or not to budget.. that is the question
Posted: May 14, 2010 7:15 PM Go to message in response to: TripleDagger3

I didn't read all the responses, just a few. I am probably the only person that is going to vote for having the dream wedding. I think it's an important day in your marriage and to have something you both want would be great. Yeah, it stinks to live paycheck to paycheck but that probably won't be that way forever.

Depending on where your wedding location is, you could still have your dream wedding and not spend the whole 20k.

Amanda and Eric
10/10/10

Amanda and Eric

 

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Elbelle77 Posts : 222 Registered: 1/24/08
Re: To budget or not to budget.. that is the question
Posted: May 14, 2010 8:01 PM Go to message in response to: TripleDagger3

Dream wedding or 20K? That's tough. When DH and I got engaged, we were very fortunate and grateful to have my parents give us a very generous amount of money towards the wedding. Whatever we didn't spend on the wedding, they said we could keep to put towards a house. We were house hunting and planning the wedding at the same time and as it worked out, we found a house that we loved and could afford on our own, so most of the money went to our dream wedding.

While we love our house, it definitely needs a lot of updates and that money could have helped us get our kitchen/bathrooms updated. In the end, I wouldn't have changed anything about our wedding day. We have amazing memories that will last forever. We will have to wait a bit longer and keep saving on our own to update the house, but it's kind of nice knowing that our house and everything we have put into it has come just from the two of us.

So talk to FH about it. Discuss what you could use that money for down the road and prioritize.

Good luck and congratulations :)

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time94am Posts : 42 Registered: 5/16/10
Re: To budget or not to budget.. that is the question
Posted: May 16, 2010 8:11 PM Go to message in response to: ArtBride

Paycheck-to-paycheck is just one paycheck away from being broke, and that really is a desperate situation.

You seem to be going through a feast-or-famine decision. Throw a huge lavish wedding for one day and then figure out how to buy a loaf of bread the next week.

Sure, who doesn't want a huge fairy-tale wedding? Okay, some people don't. However, there's only one answer that isn't completely foolish. If you don't know which that is, then that is a big problem that will haunt you until you figure it out.

I don't know you personally at all, so I don't mean to be so harsh, but you really need to think of priorities. Every person or couple needs an emergency stash of at least 2 months (many economists say 6 months) of your paychecks. The reality is that you don't have it, so you're going to be a huge trouble if even a minor emergency arises.

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Forever2 Posts : 9 Registered: 3/14/10
Re: To budget or not to budget.. that is the question
Posted: May 17, 2010 5:23 PM Go to message in response to: TripleDagger3


Only you can know what is the right choice for you, but my own choice would be the small wedding with the 20K. I want my wedding to be perfect, but the memories and the importance of the day are more special to me than how much is spent on my wedding. I would choose to take the money because, no matter how comfortable you are, as you said you are not poor, but the economy and finances are never a stable thing and it never hurts to have extra money saved back. You can still have a very meaningful wedding, though, maybe see how much your dad is thinking of spending on a small wedding.

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MikaylaK Posts : 53 Registered: 5/23/10
Re: To budget or not to budget.. that is the question
Posted: May 24, 2010 8:09 PM Go to message in response to: Forever2

My father offered my sister something very similar. He initially objected to a big party wedding altogether (as in, he will not pay for one, as she expected). But she kept on insisting, until he told her "okay, you can have the big wedding... OR I can give you the money it would cost and you save it for a real necessity."

I guess he knows her well. She gave up on the whole big wedding thing, had a wonderful wedding nevertheless, wore her big dress (and in a front yard, I may add), and has now paid for a good chunk of her house.

You never know when you might need 20K and wish you had them. Hopefully you won't need them for an emergency, but it's always good to have a cushion.

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