I have a question. My future in-laws and I don't really get along, but I thought it would be nice to ask myfuture sister-in-law to be one of my bridesmaids. She accepted and I'm hoping it will help our relationship. However, another of my bridesmaids is planning my bachlorette party and she's plannning it to do things that I would enjoy, such as a pole dancing class, rock & roll clubbing and a night at a nice hotel. Plus some very X-rated cookies, gift baskets and decorations. My FSIL is a bit of a prude, and I don't think she would enjoy the raunchy entertainment. My fiance says don't even bother inviting her, but I think that would ruin any chance of getting along with her. My friends say invite her and let her decide if she wants to come. I don't want her to come because she thiks she has to, though. Any suggestions? Thank you.
My thought is that since she is one of your bridesmaids she should probably be invited. Let her decide if she would like to come or not. She probably knows that bachelorette parties can become raunchy. If she knows the itinerary, she can then make an informed decision on whether she will go or not.
Yes, she should be invited, but I suggest having a private chat with her to let her know what to expect, and to reassure her that you would not be one bit hurt if she chose not to attend. You might thow in the fact that those naughty cookies depict a sensitive part of her BROTHER's body, and that would be gross for anyone to contemplate. (Get out the brain bleach!)
This is a talk best held face-to-face, so your entire body language will reassure her. The fact that you are honest and straightforward with her could very well boost your relationship.
I would invite her but would let her know on the side what you crazy kids are up to. She might appreciate the simple gesture of letting her know what to expect. I'd also tell her that I wouldn't be offending if she doesn't want to come but would emphasize that I'd love her to be there no matter her decision. “Maybe some women aren't meant to be tamed. Maybe they just need to run free til they find someone just as wild to run with them.” -Sex and the City