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Proxy Bride at Rehearsal

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April2010Bride Posts : 134 Registered: 4/26/09
Proxy Bride at Rehearsal
Posted: Apr 20, 2010 5:01 PM

It's a tradition, of my family, that a bride should only walk down the aisle once. As a result, we use a "proxy bride" at the rehearsal. She walks down the aisle, while the actual bride stands to the side and, sort of, coordinates everything, along with the planner. All of the rehearsals I've ever been to, have used a proxy, but my FMIL (of course) is flipping out about the concept.

Have any of you ever heard of it, or did you use a proxy at your wedding?




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Edited by: April2010Bride on Apr 20, 2010 5:02 PM

south_carolina , april_2010
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VänTillBruden Posts : 353 Registered: 1/16/10
Re: Proxy Bride at Rehearsal
Posted: Apr 20, 2010 5:05 PM Go to message in response to: April2010Bride

I've never heard of a stand in (or proxy) bride being used for the rehearsal. Part of why the bride needs to rehearse too is so that she and her dad can get a good hang of how fast they should walk/how long it takes to get down the aisle, and make proper adjustments for that. You don't want to be figuring out all those things on Wedding Day.

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south_carolina , april_2010
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April2010Bride Posts : 134 Registered: 4/26/09
Re: Proxy Bride at Rehearsal
Posted: Apr 20, 2010 5:15 PM Go to message in response to: VänTillBruden

I understand your concern with it, Van. My stand-in will be walking with my Papa down the aisle, and I'll be there to watch everything. I'm not worried about the speed that we should walk, because the track I'm using for the bride's procession is 6 minutes long! :)




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south_carolina , april_2010
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myras Posts : 396 Registered: 2/26/10
Re: Proxy Bride at Rehearsal
Posted: Apr 20, 2010 6:20 PM Go to message in response to: April2010Bride

Why is this your FMIL's business? And why is she "flipping out"? If it's your tradition, do it. You don't need her permission.
myra@classysassyweddings.com

april_2010 , south_carolina , november_1975
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CatStandish Posts : 2,767 Registered: 6/20/08
Re: Proxy Bride at Rehearsal
Posted: Apr 20, 2010 6:44 PM Go to message in response to: April2010Bride

I have heard of it....someone actually casually mentioned it to me as a matter of fact when we were discussing the rehearsal. It was "who's your proxy?" I asked what she meant and she gave me a puzzled look before explaining.

I didn't use one; however, it was a sweet notion. I did have my rehearsal bouquet ..


A proxy makes sense because it does give the bride a chance to watch it and make sure it's what she wants.

What is it with these FMILs flipping out ?!

Misty

september_2009 , south_carolina , april_2010
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April2010Bride Posts : 134 Registered: 4/26/09
Re: Proxy Bride at Rehearsal
Posted: Apr 20, 2010 7:49 PM Go to message in response to: CatStandish

The FMIL ---

Mine, in particular, just likes to be in control. She wants things to be very traditional - according to HER tradition. FH has talked with her, on several occasions, concerning her behavior, to no avail. We've given up, as our wedding is in 4 days, and we've gotten our way, regardless. =)




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april_2010 , september_2009 , south_carolina
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auntofthebride Posts : 9,357 Registered: 4/2/06
Re: Proxy Bride at Rehearsal
Posted: Apr 20, 2010 8:31 PM Go to message in response to: April2010Bride

Dear Apr,

Just let FH handle his mother, then continue on with your plans. If you want to use a proxy bride, then do so.

It's really none of her business.

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ArtBride Posts : 4,841 Registered: 5/9/07
Re: Proxy Bride at Rehearsal
Posted: Apr 21, 2010 8:42 AM Go to message in response to: April2010Bride

I've never heard of this, and frankly, it seems pretty silly to me - but if it means something to you, I don't see why it should be a big deal to your FMIL at all. Just do it - she'll get over it.

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south_carolina , april_2010
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EWF Posts : 158 Registered: 7/16/09
Re: Proxy Bride at Rehearsal
Posted: Apr 21, 2010 10:16 AM Go to message in response to: April2010Bride

six minutes for everyone to walk down the aisle or just you and your papa? if it's just you and your dad, that's a really long time...unless you are coming from half a mile away, it's going to take about 45 seconds.

 

 

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new_york_metro , south_carolina , april_2010 , march_2010
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hljanes Posts : 57 Registered: 12/31/09
Re: Proxy Bride at Rehearsal
Posted: Apr 21, 2010 11:30 AM Go to message in response to: April2010Bride

I've heard of this before. In some cultures, it's a superstition - that it's bad luck to walk down the aisle before the real thing. Explain to her that it's a tradition in your family and as long as you and your FH don't care (and, really, it's just the rehearsal), it shouldn't be up for debate.

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FutureMrsDJLeo Posts : 616 Registered: 2/26/09
Re: Proxy Bride at Rehearsal
Posted: Apr 21, 2010 11:40 AM Go to message in response to: April2010Bride

I've never heard of it, but then again I haven't heard of a lot of things until the time comes up and people ask and I'm like "what are you talking about?" If it's your families tradition and you want to do it, I say go for it!

june_2010 , illinois_chicago , south_carolina , april_2010
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April2010Bride Posts : 134 Registered: 4/26/09
Re: Proxy Bride at Rehearsal
Posted: Apr 21, 2010 3:57 PM Go to message in response to: EWF

Yes, I'm aware that it'll take about 30 seconds to walk down the aisle; however, I was making a point to mention that I wasn't concerned about the time that it takes because I have 6 minutes of music to play with. I didn't say I was planning on using the full track. I also said that it was a 6-minute track for the BRIDAL procession, not the procession of the bridal party. The party will have their own music.

Visit our Wedding Website!  www.theknot.com/OurWedding/TanyaEdwards&RichardHutto

 

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april_2010 , new_york_metro , march_2010 , south_carolina
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April2010Bride Posts : 134 Registered: 4/26/09
Re: Proxy Bride at Rehearsal
Posted: Apr 21, 2010 4:04 PM Go to message in response to: ArtBride

I like the tradition. It gives the bride a chance to see things from a guest's perspective. I can make sure I like the arrangement of the party and the flowers and the candles.

Visit our Wedding Website!  www.theknot.com/OurWedding/TanyaEdwards&RichardHutto

 

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south_carolina , april_2010
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ArtBride Posts : 4,841 Registered: 5/9/07
Re: Proxy Bride at Rehearsal
Posted: Apr 21, 2010 7:04 PM Go to message in response to: April2010Bride

Hey, if that's what you want to do, go for it. I just never would have thought to have a proxy bride, and I can't imagine needing to see the procession from a guest's perspective, as I've been to many weddings and know how processions look. But that's me. I also think wedding rehearsals are a waste of time in general because everyone knows what to do - but our priest required it, so we had to have one. Thankfully, it didn't take very long. Incidentally, I'm surprised that you're having flowers and candles at your rehearsal. I don't think I've ever seen anybody have all the decorations and flowers at a rehearsal.

But back to the original question, I really don't understand why it's a big deal to your FMIL. I'd ignore her on the subject until she gets over it, as it really doesn't affect her at all.

Just out of curiosity, who is usually a proxy bride? The spouse of someone in the WP, who just happens to be at the rehearsal anyway, or do you invite someone not in the WP to the rehearsal specifically for that? Or does a BM do double-duty and stand in?

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april_2010 , south_carolina
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auntofthebride Posts : 9,357 Registered: 4/2/06
Re: Proxy Bride at Rehearsal
Posted: Apr 22, 2010 10:20 AM Go to message in response to: ArtBride

Dear AB,

" But that's me. I also think wedding rehearsals are a waste of time in general because everyone knows what to do "

You'd be surprised. I was at a clergy conference, some months back, and the dinner conversation drifted around to "clueless" wedding parties. There are a whole lot of people who have never attended a wedding, even as a guest. Suddenly they are on stage! They need a rehearsal, first.

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