Would You Consider Making Your Ring a Family Heirloom?

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VšnTillBruden Posts : 353 Registered: 1/16/10
Would You Consider Making Your Ring a Family Heirloom?
Posted: Apr 19, 2010 7:38 AM

Hey ladies!

I was just over on the Waiting for the Ring board, and one of the posters made mention that her current engagement ring is a family heirloom that she inherited when her grandmother passed away. And I got to thinking: I wonder if any women nowadays would consider making their beloved engagement/wedding rings family heirlooms for future children/grandchildren? Or do women want to be buried with their rings?

Personally, I would love to have my engagement ring (or any other pieces of my jewelry) become a family heirloom for
one of my daughters/granddaughters, someday. We don't really have any family heirlooms within either side of my family, so when I hear these stories about girls who inherit beautiful jewelry from their grandmothers (that have been passed for generations), I am secretly a little jealous. So I plan to start the trend, with my family, and have things to leave for my kids/grandkids.

Love me when I least deserve it, because that is when I need it the most. (Swedish proverb)

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EWF Posts : 158 Registered: 7/16/09
Re: Would You Consider Making Your Ring a Family Heirloom?
Posted: Apr 19, 2010 10:54 AM Go to message in response to: VšnTillBruden

Absolutely! I've never heard of anyone being buried with their jewelry. In my family, the jewelry always goes to your children. Michael didn't have a "family stone" that he could use, i'm the first one in his family with a solitaire, so that is what we are going to pass down. but, i will be getting a lot of nice pieces from my mother and grandmother that will also be family pieces... of course, that will all stay in the family as well.

 

 

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auntofthebride Posts : 9,354 Registered: 4/2/06
Re: Would You Consider Making Your Ring a Family Heirloom?
Posted: Apr 19, 2010 11:00 AM Go to message in response to: VšnTillBruden

Dear Van,

There is no way I would be buried with my ring.

It would go to one of my children, whoever expressed the most interest in getting it. (Probably my niece.)

I have now in my possession my late mother's wedding ring and intend to give it to another niece, her granddaughter, should she ever get married.

What she does with it will be her business. She could get it reworked, reset, whatever.

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MsDenuninani Posts : 3,962 Registered: 3/16/07
Re: Would You Consider Making Your Ring a Family Heirloom?
Posted: Apr 19, 2010 11:51 AM Go to message in response to: auntofthebride

This raises an interesting point about having a family heirloom in the first place. It's the one piece of property that, for a family to keep ownership of it, it must pass down through the woman of the family. After all, if you give it to your son, and he gives it to a woman, and then the engagment is broken (see that other thread) or he passes away, she has it for whatever family she's later a part of.

Anyways, no, I wouldn't really give my ring away as an heirloom. I pretty much plan on keeping it till the day I die, and then others can do with it whatever they think makes the most sense. I'm just not that sentimental about objects, with a few exceptions.

__________________________________________

"I'd hate to advocate drugs, alcohol, or insanity, but they've always worked for me." Hunter S. Thompson

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cyndi33 Posts : 2,585 Registered: 1/3/07
Re: Would You Consider Making Your Ring a Family Heirloom?
Posted: Apr 19, 2010 12:09 PM Go to message in response to: MsDenuninani

We both have those. My ring was my DH's grandmother's ring and his ring was my dad's ring that my stepmom gave to me after dad died. DH's parents gave him the ring to give me. We will will them to our kids, very likely our grandkids. Then, they will do with them as they wish. Because we are a blended family, the grandkids are our choice because they will be growing up just knowing us as grandma and grandpa (not step mom or step dad) and so we figured that it is a family heirloom, since regardless which kid is the parent, the grandkids are simply our grandkids, together.

 Proud Member of P.O.O.P.,  People Offended by Offended People

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VšnTillBruden Posts : 353 Registered: 1/16/10
Re: Would You Consider Making Your Ring a Family Heirloom?
Posted: Apr 20, 2010 10:40 AM Go to message in response to: cyndi33

Cyndi, my grandmother (mother's mother) intends to will her wedding ring to one of her grandkids, but I have no idea who. There are eleven of us (nine female), so it's anyone's guess.

Love me when I least deserve it, because that is when I need it the most. (Swedish proverb)

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auntofthebride Posts : 9,354 Registered: 4/2/06
Re: Would You Consider Making Your Ring a Family Heirloom?
Posted: Apr 20, 2010 1:11 PM Go to message in response to: VšnTillBruden

Ladies,

The concept of "heirlooms" is tricky.

"I want you to have this possession of mine, but with strings attached. You can't sell it, you can't give it away, you have to take care of it, and when you die, you have to make sure it goes to the proper person."

I have a problem, right now, with a large heavy antique desk. It was my grandmother's desk. When my grandmother died, my father and sibs did a "round robin" to split up possessions. Each stated their #1 desired possession. No conflict, thus they got #1. Next, #2 desired possession. No conflict, thus they got #2, and so forth.

My father's #1 desired possession was that desk. He had it in his house for years, and told everyone what a great antique it was, and how he had all these great memories of the desk from his childhood.

He also told me how valuable it was (etc etc) and how it MUST stay in the family.

Now I have it, mainly because my brother moves a lot more than I do and, did I mention it's a large, heavy piece of furniture.

It's now in our living room, taking up space, not really matching the rest of our furniture. It's, more or less, a white elephant in my life. I can't give it away, nor sell it. I'm hoping that my children will fall in love with it and take it, but that hasn't happened yet.

What if neither of my children want it? What now? Do I call my father's other grandchildren, niece and nephews, and BEG them to take it? Do I then call other decendants of my grandmother, my cousins and their children? Do I pay for this LARGE HEAVY BULKY desk to be shipped thousands of miles across country?

Grrrrrr.....

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VntgGoth2010 Posts : 57 Registered: 1/24/10
Re: Would You Consider Making Your Ring a Family Heirloom?
Posted: Apr 20, 2010 1:47 PM Go to message in response to: VšnTillBruden

I concur. I love my ring and would love if my littles loved it as well but I would not make it a "have to". We don't know what the style would be in the future. If they loved my stone and wanted to change it up, I would be okay with that as well. My ring now is antique-y but the stone is pretty priceless and uncommon. I still can't stop staring at it.
    When is my wedding

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Mrslinnben Posts : 2,285 Registered: 6/4/07
Re: Would You Consider Making Your Ring a Family Heirloom?
Posted: Apr 21, 2010 12:35 PM Go to message in response to: VntgGoth2010

The center stone of my E-ring was my grandmothers wedding ring. When my grandparents got married, they didn't have any money for a ring, but they got married anyway....My grandmothers sister was a housekeeper for an upperclass family in town (mind you this was the 1930's era). So anyways, the spouse of the own of the house had passed away and started datiing another women who started to take the wifes jewelry. There was a ring that the guy gave my grandmothers sister that was his wifes (kinda like a thank you token), well my grandmothers sister gave the ring to my grandfather to give to my grandmother as her wedding ring.

At the gathering after my grandmothers wake, my grandfather, father & uncle gave me my grandmohters wedding ring. I guess she had wanted me to have to once she died....of the 5 granddaughters, she gave it to me.

Well, I've always wore the ring on my right, well when DH stated looking at rings, I didn't really find anything that I liked in our price range; so we decided to take the center stone from my grandmothers ring and had it reset.

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CandyK Posts : 33 Registered: 6/8/09
Re: Would You Consider Making Your Ring a Family Heirloom?
Posted: Apr 23, 2010 5:30 PM Go to message in response to: VšnTillBruden

When my mom passed she gave my sisters and me her ring. She had her rings put together so it was like a three in one ring with two bands. I got the main part of the rings and my sisters got the bands. I plan on passing it down to my first born daughter.

My ring and bands I think I want to pass down, too when I die.

 imghttp://www.whenismywedding.com/signature/0992e18f5be4c6cb.gif[/img][/url">http://www.whenismywedding.com/"imghttp://www.whenismywedding.com/signature/0992e18f5be4c6cb.gif[/img][/url] Wedding Ticker from WhenIsMyWedding.com

CandyK

 

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BrighterThanSun... Posts : 853 Registered: 10/17/08
Re: Would You Consider Making Your Ring a Family Heirloom?
Posted: Apr 23, 2010 5:49 PM Go to message in response to: VšnTillBruden

I don't even know where my Nona's or my Nan's wedding ring is.

I'm going to guess that an aunt from each side has them.
Well, on my Mom's side I'm guessing my Pops has it as a keepsake. On my Dad's side, he has one sister that it would mean a lot to--so I'm guessing she has it--but her only children are her dogs. So I have no idea of the destiny of either of those rings.

My Mom's ring--well, it's not really 'heirloom' material. First off, they are getting divorced--would that be a bad omen? And secondly, well, it's not the nicest of rings. It looked lovely on her dainty little hand--but a yellow gold 1/4 carat diamond soitaire doesn't work for everybody. I have no idea what she is doing with it. I think i saw it in her sock drawer once while rooting for an extra pair of socks. I actually liked it on my hand--she let me try it on when I was like 12 (I have the hands of a 12 year old to this day) however, I think it would be a little odd to wear it after the divorce.

What is the fate of a ring after divorce?

I would consider it one day--having my ring be an heirloom. If somebody wants it, they can have it. But who's to say that anybody would want it? Maybe I will just have it cremated with me.

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auntofthebride Posts : 9,354 Registered: 4/2/06
Re: Would You Consider Making Your Ring a Family Heirloom?
Posted: Apr 23, 2010 6:08 PM Go to message in response to: BrighterThanSun...

Ladies,

"What is the fate of a ring after divorce?"

Here's an idea. Give it to a worthy charity to sell or use as a raffle prize.

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DONTBAHATERDOTCOM Posts : 3 Registered: 4/21/10
Re: Would You Consider Making Your Ring a Family Heirloom?
Posted: Apr 24, 2010 12:03 AM Go to message in response to: auntofthebride

My mother had a ring set aside for me to have for when I got engaged but our home got broken into when i was little and they stole her whole jewelry box with every single piece of jewelry she had put away for me. So now that I have my ring which my hubby had custom made, I am going to pass it down. Especially since its so different then most and i know later on it would retain alot of value. both sentiment and financial.

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HappyGirl13 Posts : 1,298 Registered: 4/21/08
Re: Would You Consider Making Your Ring a Family Heirloom?
Posted: Apr 24, 2010 9:07 AM Go to message in response to: DONTBAHATERDOTCOM

I would pass mine down if my daughter or another close (younger) female relative wanted it, but not in a way that would make them feel burdened to have it. In other words, I would have the attitude Aunt does--they can keep it as is, re-set it, etc.

I have a mother who I would consider a pack rat (she would be horrified if she knew I were describing her that way, but anyway), and she and my dad have soooooo many things that my brother and I will have to decide what to do with when they eventually pass away, b/c I know they aren't going to go through all their stuff for us. And it's the same situation with Aunt's father's desk, but with a whole bunch more things: "You CAN'T get rid of that!"

I've told her we'll probably have to have an auction of their stuff after they're gone. I didn't feel bad telling her that because she did the same thing with her parents' stuff. I think it's wrong, if you're going to pass something down, to make the pass-ees feel burdened with the item.

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MrsCP3 Posts : 456 Registered: 4/21/08
Re: Would You Consider Making Your Ring a Family Heirloom?
Posted: Apr 26, 2010 11:04 AM Go to message in response to: BrighterThanSun...

Brighter,

My parents got divorced when I was 7. For my 21st birthday, they had a ring made for me with the diamonds from my mom's wedding ring, but they completely changed the setting and added some opals as well. They actually designed and paid for it together, and I thought it was such a cool idea! The plan is, if we have a daughter, to give it to her on her 21st birthday.

I will definitely pass down my wedding ring as an heirloom. For my "something borrowed", I had my late grandmother's right hand ring that she wore every day tied to my bouquet. It was really cool to have that with me when I walked down the aisle, and I probably wouldn't have had it had she not left it to my dad when she passed away.

 

 

 

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