Mother in law's dress

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GoingCrazy5110 Posts : 2 Registered: 11/28/08
Mother in law's dress
Posted: Apr 17, 2010 2:14 PM

Style 50273

300 dollar prom dress. Lots of sequins. VERY form fitting on her. Much flashier than my VERY modest dress. How do I deal with this without being a b*tch about it? She's really excited about it. I'm kinda bummed. FYI- I'm a 14...She's a 6. Ouch.


Seraphim Posts : 3 Registered: 4/5/09
Mother-in-law's dress
Posted: Apr 17, 2010 7:13 PM Go to message in response to: GoingCrazy5110

I once read an article from a guest who witnessed a similar situation. A mom-in-law wore a red mini dress to the wedding when the wedding colors were black and white. What a nightmare! The mom-in-laws attempt to get all the attention was both obvious to everyone and very sad. But she could not outshine the beautiful, much younger, blushing bride.

Depending on your relationship you can bring it up jokingly and in a light-hearted way. "You're dress is so beautiful and you're going to be so beautiful in it, I'm afraid you'll look better than the bride. I need you to find another dress, please."

If mom doesn't get the hint then I wouldn't worry about it. We can't choose what everyone, even the guest are going to wear. If not mom then someone is likely to wear a similar dress.


FutureMrsDJLeo Posts : 615 Registered: 2/26/09
Re: Mother in law's dress
Posted: Apr 17, 2010 7:19 PM Go to message in response to: GoingCrazy5110

I honestly don't see what's wrong with the dress. The only thing I could think of was, depending on her figure, it might show a lot of boob, but maybe you can (in a polite way of course) suggest a shawl to wear, atleast for the ceremony. As for it being form-fitting, I really don't see what the problem with that is? As long as it's not skin tight where it looks like it's going to rip at the seems when she dances, LOL. The sequins? Sequins are really in right now, so take it as she's being trendy, not flashy. You really don't have anything to worry about, you're the bride...all eyes are going to be on you anways! :)

I just re-read your post, and saw you said your dress is more modest. Is the dress really going to clash with the tone of your wedding? If so, you can always mention that, but if it's her style and looks good on her, I say don't worry about it.

Edited by: FutureMrsDJLeo on Apr 17, 2010 7:19 PM


auntofthebride Posts : 9,354 Registered: 4/2/06
Re: Mother in law's dress
Posted: Apr 17, 2010 7:20 PM Go to message in response to: GoingCrazy5110

Dear GC,

Let this one go. A grown woman should be able to choose her own clothes. Anything you say or do will be wrong.

If she looks out of place at the wedding, then it will be her problem, not yours.


BrighterThanSun... Posts : 853 Registered: 10/17/08
Re: Mother in law's dress
Posted: Apr 17, 2010 9:05 PM Go to message in response to: GoingCrazy5110

I personally don't find it that bad of a dress. Not my taste or anything, or my mom's...but it's long, is in a non-attention seeking colour and has thick straps--I don't think it seems too inappropriate.

And trust me, it's not that attention seeking that people's eyes will be on her rather than on you. You are the bride. You are going to look beautiful.

People aren't supposed to make themselves frumpy because they aren't the brides. I don't wear a non-figure flattering dress because I am concerned that I will look better than the bride. This is a big day for her to, let her wear a dress that she is happy with.

Honestly, just don't worry about it.


ArtBride Posts : 4,838 Registered: 5/9/07
Re: Mother in law's dress
Posted: Apr 17, 2010 9:16 PM Go to message in response to: GoingCrazy5110

Looks great to me - and if it looks great on her, more power to her.

Why shouldn't she wear something that looks nice on her? And who cares about the difference in your sizes? Nobody can outdo the bride on her wedding day, whatever they wear. I've been to many weddings, and I've rarely noticed the MOG, regardless of her size or what she's wearing. I always notice the bride.

I don't think you have anything to worry about. You'll both look beautiful, but YOU are the show-stopper, since it's YOUR wedding day. Try to take pride in your FMIL. If she looks good enough to wear that dress to her son's wedding, that bodes very well for your future children at THEIR children's weddings! :)

DaisypathWedding Ticker

Vice President and Guardian of the Toilet Brush of POOP: People Offended by Offended People


ReinhardtEvents Posts : 2 Registered: 4/18/10
Re: Mother in law's dress
Posted: Apr 18, 2010 3:18 AM Go to message in response to: GoingCrazy5110

Haha, as a wedding coordinator, I'm the one who usually has to say, politely, but firmly, to "let the bride have her day" in so many words. I know this is certainly an uncomfortable situation that you do not want to have to deal with, so remember to be balanced and fair about it. Remember, your FMIL is almost as excited about this day as you are - her son found the love of his life! Also keep in mind that when the music starts and the officiant asks the guests to rise, nobody will be looking at your FMIL - everyone's attention will go straight to you. Remember why you are celebrating your marriage in the first place and realize that what your FMIL chooses to wear, while perhaps not the most modest choice in the world, will not ruin the best day of your life. You will be the most beautiful woman in the world at that moment.

While I do not think it is in the best taste for the mother of the groom to wear such a gown, I also do not think that she shouldn't be allowed to wear it, either. If you insist on speaking with her about it, why don't you explain that the dress code was more modest/casual than what her gown calls for, and that you would LOVE to see her in (a dress that you saw at another store that you have a picture of on-hand). Also show her what your mother will be wearing. If she does not budge, I would not push it further. You are right in saying that it is your big day, but at the same time, an angry MIL would add a lot more to the stress of the event.

Good luck!

Marriage: that I call the will of two to create the one who is more than those who created it.  ~Friedrich Nietzsche


cyndi33 Posts : 2,585 Registered: 1/3/07
Re: Mother in law's dress
Posted: Apr 18, 2010 2:08 PM Go to message in response to: ReinhardtEvents

Has she already bought the dress? I would NOT NOT NOT say a word to her. IF she can wear the dress and look good more power to her, and it has nothing to do with your day. You are the bride and are who people will be paying attention to and will be totally beautiful. Don't turn it into something it doesn't need to be.

As far as suggesting she return the dress and ask your mom what she's wearing and wear something similar, well, I'd of been way irritated if I would have had to wear a dress similar to what my daughter's husband's mom wore. She's about 15 years older, looks it, and is NOT the same size as me. I"m not going to wear something totally not me just cause she would. Same with my mom and my husband's mom at our wedding. They are different people, with different styles, and we don't dictate those.

I don't see anything wrong with the dress at all, it's not some tiny stretchy bright red hoochy mama dress, it's a beautiful gown and if she can wear it and look good then yay for her. Frankly, even if it were a tiny bright red hoochy mama dress, it wouldn't take away from you at all, she'd be the one looking silly, and you'd still be the bride, looking beautiful. Let it go and focus on the day for you and FH and you probably won't even notice what others are wearing when the day comes. I didn't.

 Proud Member of P.O.O.P.,  People Offended by Offended People


VšnTillBruden Posts : 353 Registered: 1/16/10
Re: Mother in law's dress
Posted: Apr 18, 2010 3:45 PM Go to message in response to: cyndi33

I'm 100% with Cyndi on this one -

My mother is very petite: 5'2", maybe 130 lbs. soaking wet, and she has lived in California for the last twenty years. My boyfriend's mother is about 5'5", but on the heavier side, and is a very conservative Christian woman, who grew up in Michigan. The women look completely different, they're exact opposites in the way that they dress, and you know what? That's okay. If my FMIL could wear a dress (and own it!) like that on my wedding day, I'd say "more power to you!"

Love me when I least deserve it, because that is when I need it the most. (Swedish proverb)


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