I thought I had found "the one" in my dress then I found 3 more!

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WishComeTrue Posts : 8 Registered: 9/9/08
I thought I had found "the one" in my dress then I found 3 more!
Posted: Apr 10, 2010 2:52 AM

I am having major dress dilemmas here. I decided to start the dress hunt now, I'm not getting married until 2012. I thought since I am not a very small size that not much would look good on me. Boy was I wrong! I thought I had found "the one" but then went somewhere else and found another "one". But after finding the second one i decided the first was ugly on me. The problem is I now love four dresses, and can only have one. Some people say when you know you just know you have found the one, like your FH. But I love all four and haven't felt like any of them stand out more than the rest. Just looking for guidance I suppose. Help if you can, it would be much appreciated!

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VšnTillBruden Posts : 353 Registered: 1/16/10
Re: I thought I had found "the one" in my dress then I found 3 more!
Posted: Apr 10, 2010 5:34 AM Go to message in response to: WishComeTrue

Keep shopping. Keep trying things on. Take pictures of dresses that you think are potential "ones". Then take a break for six to ten months from shopping for a dress (believe me, you have time!), and revisit those pictures at a time closer to your wedding, and see if any of those stand out to you now. See if your style has changed at all. If you still haven't found "the one", hit the dress racks again, and eventually you'll find something.

The key thing here is to not get ahead of yourself! We have a lot of girls who have long engagements, and the first thing they do is buy their dress, & end up posting on here nine months later saying "I found THE DRESS, but I already bought a different one! What do I do!?"

Wait it out. I know it's tough, but be patient. Nothing wrong with window shopping and trying things on, but I'd advise you not to make a purchase any time soon.

Love me when I least deserve it, because that is when I need it the most. (Swedish proverb)

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WinterWonderlan... Posts : 658 Registered: 8/23/08
Re: I thought I had found "the one" in my dress then I found 3 more!
Posted: Apr 10, 2010 7:42 AM Go to message in response to: WishComeTrue

In my opinion, all of this business about "you put on a dress and just know it is THE ONE" is BS. This made it hard for me because I was expecting to get this feeling that everyone tells you about. It never happened! When I did find a dress that I loved, I found another one that I loved too. I could have went with either dress and have been perfectly happy. I'm sure if I had continued to a fourth store or tried more on, I could have found another one that I just loved too.

How did I decide? One of the dresses happened to be significantly cheaper and also happened to be a different style than my previous gowns had been. The more expensive dress was a trumpet style. I competed in a lot of pageants, and 90% of my pageant dresses were mermaid style. I didn't want to feel like I was wearing a pageant dress on the day of my wedding, so I went with the fuller more traditional style that had unique touches. I first thought that I wasn't getting the magical "the one" feeling because I have had a lot of expensive gowns beyond proms, so maybe I was just more used to it...but then I decided no, I was still just as excited to try on Bridal Gowns, and that feeling was just unrealistic.

Right now I have a few suggestions for you:

1) Throw out the idea that you are going to put a dress on and fireworks will go of screaming that its "the one."
2) Its okay to browse right now, but don't settle on a dress yet. You have more than enough time. If you buy a dress now, at least make sure its not sitting at your house or even your parent's. If you are looking at your dress (even worse trying it on!) the year+ before your wedding, you will find a reason to not love it anymore. The new will wear off, and you'll start inspecting the details, then starting to second guess yourself. Also, styles can change a lot very quickly. Who knows that by the time of your wedding your dress won't seem dated to you. Also, something new and better could easily come out before then.
3) If you do decide to purchase your dress this far in advance, completely stop looking at dresses after the day you order it. You keep looking and browsing, there will eventually be something you like better or at least equally.



If you still are absolutely in love with these 4 dresses and want to choose one of them now, there are other things you can take into consideration to help you with your decision.
1) Price, Its always good to save money.
2) Venue: Example - If you are having a beach wedding, you may not want to get a 30 lb dress with tons of beading and a huge train which could make walking in the sand difficult and the heat miserable.
3) Hairstyle: Did you have a specific way you want to wear your hair? Which neckline would be more flattering with that hairstyle?
4) Veil/Accessories: Do you dream of a birdcage veil? Maybe a cathedral veil? Which dress will best fit your idea veil? Same with jewelry. Do you have a certain pair of "something old" earrings that you want to wear?
5) What does your FH want? -- A lot of people may disagree with me on this, but I think its nice to take your FH into consideration when picking out your wedding dress. Just like we are envisioning walking down the aisle. He is envisioning that moment too. All my DH asked is that it was white. I wore diamond white, which to him is no different than bright white. Secretly though, I knew that DH would appreciate the style of the dress I selected more, and I do believe that influenced my decision some. Besides, isn't he who I'm trying to dress up for here?

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WishComeTrue Posts : 8 Registered: 9/9/08
Re: I thought I had found "the one" in my dress then I found 3 more!
Posted: Apr 10, 2010 5:03 PM Go to message in response to: WinterWonderlan...

Thank you both for your advice. It's really helpful to hear from other people's point of view.

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FutureMrsDJLeo Posts : 615 Registered: 2/26/09
Re: I thought I had found "the one" in my dress then I found 3 more!
Posted: Apr 15, 2010 11:41 AM Go to message in response to: WishComeTrue

You still have 2 years until your wedding, so that gives you atleast 1.5years (roughly) until you have to make a decision on the dress. If I were you, I wouldn't worry about it now. It's great to go and try things on and get ideas, but don't stress about selecting which one. I'm also having a longer engagement, and I tried dresses on when I first got engaged and 2years later when I went back, I didn't even try on anything that resembled what I first fell in love with. You have plenty of time, Right now you can start planning with the budget, thinking of what you want your wedding to be like, and maybe even venues. Don't worry about making major decisions right now though.

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