Guest List Confusion

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InLoVeInMpLs Posts : 8 Registered: 3/22/09
Guest List Confusion
Posted: Apr 7, 2010 9:20 AM

Hi Ladies!

I have a quick question, are you supposed to give all the single guests a "plus one"?

When do you just invite the person and when do you invite the person plus guest?

Thanks!!!

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VšnTillBruden Posts : 353 Registered: 1/16/10
Re: Guest List Confusion
Posted: Apr 7, 2010 9:28 AM Go to message in response to: InLoVeInMpLs

Well, that entirely depends on you! If you want to, and can afford to appoint every non-married guest a "plus one", then by all means, go for it.

A common thing I've seen on these boards is "the ring rule". If the guest is married, or engaged, you invite their significant other. If they aren't, then you invite them alone. I think this is a good idea if you're trying to keep within a budget, or if you are wary about someone finding a date for the sake of your wedding. I have a few issues with the rule personally, as I know several couples who are A) gay & committed, but can not legally marry in their state, or B) have been together for years and have chosen not to marry for reasons of their own. But, everyone who knows them is aware of their individual situations, and would know to invite them together, as if they were man & wife.

I've gone to weddings with dates. I've gone to weddings on my own. I have no real preference, as a guest.

Love me when I least deserve it, because that is when I need it the most. (Swedish proverb)

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ArtBride Posts : 4,838 Registered: 5/9/07
Re: Guest List Confusion
Posted: Apr 7, 2010 10:33 AM Go to message in response to: InLoVeInMpLs

All guests that are married or engaged (or committed gay couples who can't get married) need to be invited as a couple. Other than that, it's up to you. You could choose to draw the line at married and engaged couples (a.k.a. the 'no ring, no bring' rule), you could choose to invite established dating couples, or you could choose to invite all single guests with a date. It's up to you who to invite beyond married and engaged couples.

Personally, we invited all guests with a date. We didn't care whether they brought their serious boyfriend/girlfriend, someone they met last week, or a random friend. It's more fun to attend a wedding with someone than it is to attend alone, and we wanted all our guests to enjoy themselves as much as possible. That said, only one of the single guests brought a date - which was good, because she didn't know anybody else at the wedding. All couples attended together, regardless of whether they were married, engaged, or dating. Everyone was happy, and it didn't result in many additional guests for us.

DaisypathWedding Ticker

Vice President and Guardian of the Toilet Brush of POOP: People Offended by Offended People

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auntofthebride Posts : 9,354 Registered: 4/2/06
Re: Guest List Confusion
Posted: Apr 7, 2010 10:58 AM Go to message in response to: InLoVeInMpLs

Dear MPLS,

The others posters are exactly right. Established couples (married, engaged, same-sex who do not have the option of legal marriage) must be invited together.

Depending on your budget and space contraints, you can then choose (choose = your option) to invite living-together couples, seriously dating couples, etc.

If you still have room, you can ask single guests if they would like to bring a date.

Many people handle that by putting "And Guest" on the invitation. Personally, I don't like that. It gives the guest license to invite whoever they like. That "And Guest" could be a grandchild, some random person they met in a bar last Friday, their neighbor, whatever.

I think it best to contact each single friend and say "Are you seeing anyone? Would you like to attend our wedding with that person?" Then, get the name and address of the BF or GF and send that person their own invitation.

Finally, be considerate of older or handicapped people who might need some kind of assistant. Again, handle this on a case-by-case basis. "Aunt Edna, do you need someone to drive you to the wedding? Would you like me to include your health care worker in the guest list?" This is one of the only situations where a last-minute guest substitution is OK. If one health care worker gets sick that day, Aunt Edna should be able to come with whatever substitute the agency sends.

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SMGray Posts : 84 Registered: 1/2/10
Re: Guest List Confusion
Posted: Apr 7, 2010 2:15 PM Go to message in response to: InLoVeInMpLs

I agree with all the PPs, but personally, I would encourage you to be as liberal as possible with your plus one invites. My FH and I were together for 3 years before we got engaged, and had been living together for almost 2 years- if I had been invited to a wedding without him, I would have most likely declined the invitation. I understand there are space and budget issues with a guest list, but I would have seen a solo invitation from a friend as dismissive of my serious and committed relationship. At the very least I would ask why FH wasn't invited- but that's me.

That being said, if you are having space and budget issues, you don't need to invite decidedly single people with a plus one. My guest list "rule" is that if I know you're seeing someone when I send out the invitation, you get "and guest". If you're living with them or otherwise seriously committed, I'm putting their name on the invitation.


"And so I come, to be the one, who's always standing close to you."- Van Morrison

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InLoVeInMpLs Posts : 8 Registered: 3/22/09
Re: Guest List Confusion
Posted: Apr 7, 2010 11:02 PM Go to message in response to: InLoVeInMpLs

Thank you!!!

This helped so much, I was going to invite our friends we know are seeing someone with their partners but I wasnt sure about the single guests. All this advice was great!

Thanks!

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