7 Biggest Wedding Complaints

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VšnTillBruden Posts : 353 Registered: 1/16/10
7 Biggest Wedding Complaints
Posted: Apr 2, 2010 6:26 PM

I found an interesting article on Yahoo, about the biggest gripes people, as guests, have about weddings.

One year I went to a remarkable
wedding -- the bride was radiant, the groom gallant, the vows
tear-inducing and the setting idyllic. The only problem? I was
starving. Over the duration of the five-hour affair, I was
only able to wrangle a few mini-squash blossoms and chicken skewers
from the elusive caterers. Yet this was no shoestring-budget
wedding -- the champagne, venue, and wedding band were A-List,
and the bride’s dress was, I'm told, in the five figures. My
thought, en route to the nearest drive-through on the way home:
Being frugal is fine, but don't scrimp on the food.

Cash Bar
While your wedding needn’t be a bacchanalian free-for-all, let’s
face it: Nobody likes a cash bar. It’s essentially saying, “Pay to
celebrate our love”! If your budget is tight, consider pouring
lower-priced wines and beer, with top-shelf options available for
purchase. Another way to save when it comes to alcohol is with a
signature cocktail in lieu of a full bar -- fun,
festive, and friendlier on the bottom line.

Big Journey, Small Bites
Destination weddings are lovely but can be pricey for guests. If
people are traveling long distances or overseas for your wedding,
they’ve earned themselves a sit-down meal. As destination weddings
tend to be more intimate, consider a seated dinner or buffet
instead of a smattering of snacks -- your jet-lagged guests
will thank you.

All Fried Food

While haute comfort food is whimsical, trendy, and hard-to-resist
(Gourmet fried chicken! Sustainably-farmed sliders! Duck fat
fries!), try to avoid a menu that’s excessively fatty. Include a
few healthful appetizers into the rotation to give your
diet-conscious guests a break -- and potentially more energy
on the dance floor.

No Veggie Option
According to an April 2008 poll, 3.2 percent of Americans claim
to be vegetarians, and 10 percent claim to follow a
"vegetarian-inclined" diet. So, for the sake of 3-10
percent of your guests, try to incorporate a meat-free entree
option or a few hearty veggie-friendly sides and appetizers.

Never-Ending Waits for Food Service

Wedding reception purgatory: We've all been there. Standing in
a hotel courtyard or milling in front of a church, overdressed,
underfed, sneaking a glance at your watch while making pained small
talk. While logistics of event planning vary, the bride and groom
should take care to ensure that guests are not left waiting for an
hour or more with nothing to do, eat, or drink. Low blood sugar is
not conducive to celebrating.

Running Out of The Big Ticket

One lively wedding I attended featured a whole roast pig, but by
the time my table was given its turn at the buffet, all that was
left was the snout. Planning a wedding isn't an exact
science -- there are always last minute RSVPs (or people who
don't RSVP at all) or those who show up with unexpected guests,
children, or food allergies. So, consider the snout and plan for a
few extra guests (or extra hungry ones).

The Wedding Cake Face Smash
A curious tradition indeed. The bride and groom cut the cake under
the joyous gaze of friends, family, and possibly religious figures,
and then, to cement the union, the groom smashes a handful of
pricey cake on the (impeccably made-up) bride. Who started this?
Who actually enjoys this uneasy ritual? My humble opinion: Save the
frosting frolicking for the honeymoon.

Here is the link, for anyone interested.


Your thoughts?

Love me when I least deserve it, because that is when I need it the most. (Swedish proverb)


kms31690 Posts : 7 Registered: 12/23/09
Re: 7 Biggest Wedding Complaints
Posted: Apr 2, 2010 7:24 PM Go to message in response to: VšnTillBruden

haha. I would probably be shunned from my family if we didn't smash cake in each other's faces. But other than that, the article is something to consider when planning. Who wants starving, grouchy guests?


CheetahAngel Posts : 2,017 Registered: 11/29/08
Re: 7 Biggest Wedding Complaints
Posted: Apr 2, 2010 10:47 PM Go to message in response to: VšnTillBruden

I'd have to agree with everything except for the cake smashing part. That's like one of the best parts of a wedding is seeing them get all dirty with the cake lol.


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CatStandish Posts : 2,766 Registered: 6/20/08
Re: 7 Biggest Wedding Complaints
Posted: Apr 3, 2010 12:20 AM Go to message in response to: CheetahAngel

I personally hate it when the groom or bride smashes the cake. I feel it is extremely disrespectful. Now, there is a minor difference if they have so agreed to smash ahead of time. But if they have not discussed it and ithere is smashing, it is rude. I had a friend get married and have her reception near a pool. The groomsmen told her that they were going to toss her in. The bridesmaids told them that that was not funny or acceptable behaviour. The groom thought it was hilarious. We told him he was an ass if he thought it funny. She did NOT want to be tossed in. In the end, he behaved and respected that wish. Cake smashing is the same way--if that is what the couple wants, fine.

I'd have been pissed off if my DH did it to me. And he'd have been upset if I did it to him.

I do not like this tradition, and half the time I think people only do it for tradition's sake. With this one, tradition can take a long walk off a short pier.



kelleyiskelley Posts : 11,590 Registered: 7/2/06
Re: 7 Biggest Wedding Complaints
Posted: Apr 3, 2010 1:11 AM Go to message in response to: CheetahAngel

Wow, whoever wrote this article/list is OBSESSED with food lol. Every single one of her complaints is about food/drink!

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VšnTillBruden Posts : 353 Registered: 1/16/10
Re: 7 Biggest Wedding Complaints
Posted: Apr 3, 2010 7:03 AM Go to message in response to: kelleyiskelley

But Kelley, isn't that the only reason people go to weddings? The free food? *:P

Love me when I least deserve it, because that is when I need it the most. (Swedish proverb)


VšnTillBruden Posts : 353 Registered: 1/16/10
Re: 7 Biggest Wedding Complaints
Posted: Apr 3, 2010 7:05 AM Go to message in response to: VšnTillBruden

Oh, and I agree with Cat about the cake thing. If I spent the whole morning getting dolled up, the last thing I want is for the groom to rub cake all over my face!

Love me when I least deserve it, because that is when I need it the most. (Swedish proverb)


auntofthebride Posts : 9,354 Registered: 4/2/06
Re: 7 Biggest Wedding Complaints
Posted: Apr 3, 2010 11:13 AM Go to message in response to: kelleyiskelley

Dear Kelley,

"Wow, whoever wrote this article/list is OBSESSED with food lol. Every single one of her complaints is about food/drink! "

No mystery there. The food and drink are the places where the couples' decision directly impact the guests.

The bride's dress is the bride's choice and it doesn't impact me, unless it's very risqué. I, personally, don't like strapless dresses, but that's just my personal taste in clothing. When I see a bride in a strapless dress, I just say to myself "Oh, there's another one", then forget about it.

However, when there's inadequate food or a long wait for food or a charge for the drinks, that has a direct impact on me. I want to know, in advance, that there will be a full fledged meal served or only "light refreshments" so I can either eat a good lunch in advance or come hungry.

There are certainly other guest-comfort issues that could be added to the list. One might be inadequate toilet facilities. No one likes leaving a fun party just to stand in line for the john. Another might be climate issues - too hot, too cold, too rainy. You might also have parking and walking distance problems. All of these have a direct impact on the guests. They are not just a matter of one person's taste.


headoverheels8 Posts : 80 Registered: 11/17/07
Re: 7 Biggest Wedding Complaints
Posted: Apr 6, 2010 12:21 AM Go to message in response to: VšnTillBruden

Cash Bar= doesn't really bother me, but it seems to bother most people so not something I would do.

Full meal for distance traveling= If I'm driving a few hours I don't feel they should "have" to feed me an entire meal especially if its clear on the invite that it will not be a meal. but if I have to fly I definitely want to them to feed me well.

Fried food= I personally love fried food and have a very high metabolism so this isn't an issue but I can see how it would be very annoying.

No veggie option= Now this one I completely disagree with. I know a lot of people will not like my opinion on this but being a vegetarian is choice. so if you choose to not to eat meat, eat before you come or youll have to eat appetizers (cheese and crackers, and fruit). You wouldn't hear me complaining if I went to an all veggie reception when I mostly eat meat. On the other hand, if you have a medical problem such as diabetes or a food allergy I am more than willing to accomadate you.

Wait= no one likes to wait but it is unavoidable at times

Running out of food= order enough food people

Cake smash= If the bride doesnt get pissed off then fine by me.


BrighterThanSun... Posts : 853 Registered: 10/17/08
Re: 7 Biggest Wedding Complaints
Posted: Apr 6, 2010 12:29 AM Go to message in response to: headoverheels8


You were right--I completely disagree with your opinion on vegetarian meals. There is a major difference between a vegetarian attending a wedding with no veggie option and a meat-eater attending a vegetarian option. What is the major difference? Vegetarians don't get to eat except maybe a side order while meat-eaters are still able to eat everything. Why should vegetarians have to eat before the reception? Why shouldn't they be fed equally as the meat-eating guests? Because they made the choice to not eat meat they should be treated less well than other guests.

Sorry that I find that ridiculous.


PharmToxGirl Posts : 5,446 Registered: 8/30/07
Re: 7 Biggest Wedding Complaints
Posted: Apr 6, 2010 12:47 AM Go to message in response to: BrighterThanSun...

ONE full on veggie option seems to be completely reasonable. Filling up on fruit and cheese when EVERYONE is jockeying for them is insane.

And I'm a meat eater.

EDIT: Oh, and I know people who are vegatarian for health reasons.

Edited by: PharmToxGirl on Apr 6, 2010 12:47 AM


starfish701 Posts : 465 Registered: 12/10/08
Re: 7 Biggest Wedding Complaints
Posted: Apr 6, 2010 9:01 AM Go to message in response to: PharmToxGirl

I told my FH that cake smashing is grounds for annulment! We are not starting our marriage with an act of assault. :)
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BrighterThanSun... Posts : 853 Registered: 10/17/08
Re: 7 Biggest Wedding Complaints
Posted: Apr 6, 2010 9:06 AM Go to message in response to: starfish701


I don't want to partake in the cake smashing because it is abusive or because it will be dirty or because it will be embarassing--i just think it's such a wedding cliche and i don't want to take part in that one.

I just find it unnecessary and I don't really get it.


MsDenuninani Posts : 3,962 Registered: 3/16/07
Re: 7 Biggest Wedding Complaints
Posted: Apr 6, 2010 10:17 AM Go to message in response to: BrighterThanSun...

I kinda like the cake-smashing thing, but probably because no one I know ever does it. Same thing with the whole garter belt thing. Officially, I have no idea why any bride would want the groom to take the garter off with his teeth and then fling it to the groomsmen. But, I went to a wedding a few weeks ago, and the bride and groom (both highly regarded professionals) did this, and it was kinda awesome, if only because I never, ever see this tradition anymore.

Same thing with the cake-smashing, which they also did, but in a kinda funny way rather than a crazy passive-aggressive way.

I went to a wedding when all they had for alcohol was beer. I'm not a beer drinker, but I didn't mind because it was different types of beers from small breweries representing the various places the couple had lived over the past 10 years. It was cool.

For me, the above are examples that when a wedding matches the personalities involved, you get more leeway on choosing things that might not be such a good idea normally.


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ArtBride Posts : 4,838 Registered: 5/9/07
Re: 7 Biggest Wedding Complaints
Posted: Apr 6, 2010 4:11 PM Go to message in response to: VšnTillBruden

Hey, lay off food-obsessed guests! How often do we get to stuff our faces with foods that we don't normally eat...and not feel bad about it? I mean, you really have to eat the wedding cake. 'Cause it would be bad luck or something to not eat it, right? And you don't want the happy couple to have bad luck simply because you were counting calories, right? :)

Cash bar - Hate 'em.

Hors d'ouevres receptions at destination weddings - I've never attended a destination wedding, but most weddings we go to involve some major travel. And to be totally honest, I do expect a full meal (if not a seated meal, enough hors d'ouevres to be the equivalent of a full meal), and I grumble about it to myself if I'm not fed well. I understand why couples have cocktail receptions, but for all the time, effort, and money it takes to attend an OOT wedding, I feel like enough food should be provided that I don't have to go out afterwards.

All fried food - Never been to a wedding that only offered fried food, and while it sounds AWESOME, I'm sure it would make me sick pretty quickly, as I don't eat much fried food.

No veggie option - Flat-out rude. Especially since it's so easy to offer a veggie option.

Long waits - Probably my biggest wedding pet peeve. Not just long waits for food, but long breaks in between ceremony and reception.

Running out of a popular entree - That's a venue issue, so I don't think it's fair to blame the bride and groom. It's annoying, but it won't kill the event for me.

Cake smashing - Like MsD, I've never seen this done in real life. I can't say that it would bother me, though, as it's not my face. Most couples decide to do it ahead of time, right? Or is it done to unsuspecting people? In that case, I'd be pissed on his/her behalf.

Garter retrieval/toss - I've never seen a groom take the garter off with his teeth, but I'm not a big fan of the tradition in general. I especially hate it when the guy that catches the garter has to put in on the woman who catches the bouquet - awkward!

Here's a couple nobody's mentioned yet:
Forced participation in bouquet/garter tosses - One of my favorite perks of being married is that I don't get dragged onto dance floors to catch bouquets anymore. I was always the girl who would find a place to hide if there was any indication that there would be flying flowers anytime soon, and I HATED it when people would drag me onto the dance floor to participate. If you want to do it, fine - but don't force people to participate if they obviously don't want to.

Not enough seating - I said my piece on this a couple weeks ago, after attending a wedding without enough seats. It just doesn't make sense. It didn't ruin the wedding for me, but I would have had a much better time during the dinner part of the evening if I hadn't been worried about eating off my lap or about someone in my group knocking over all the drinks on our tiny little table while reaching for their own.

Never-ending cocktail hours - I understand that the couple needs time to take photos, but if it drags on for more than an hour, I get antsy for the rest of the party to get going. Additionally, if the cocktail hour drags on for too long (or if there's tons of food), guests might be confused and think that there won't be a seated dinner. Made that mistake at a wedding last year. There was SO much food available during the cocktail hour, and we had been in that room for so long that my friends and I figured there wouldn't be a seated dinner and we ate enough for a meal. When we were eventually ushered into another room and seated for dinner, we were stuffed. My usually first-on-the-dance floor college friends were all full and sleepy until a few hours later, when we all perked up at the smells of cake and coffee.

Only one shuttle-bus departure - This happened at the same wedding as I just mentioned. Took the shuttle bus to the venue, and later found out that the bus would only make one trip back - at the very end of the evening. We don't normally leave a reception early, but in this case, we were so tired and stuffed that we would have liked to head out early - but we couldn't, as the shuttle bus was only making one trip back, so we had to sit and pretend we were still having fun until the last song was played. There weren't any elderly guests on the shuttle, so the couple must have given them the heads-up. It would have been nice if the rest of us had known!

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