My MIL just today requested that I call her Mom

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cyndi33 Posts : 2,585 Registered: 1/3/07
Re: My MIL just today requested that I call her Mom
Posted: Mar 28, 2010 4:02 PM Go to message in response to: juicygirl16

Doesn't sound like the MIL is insecure, soudns like she meant it as a sign of acceptance and a compliment. You sound pretty insecure though, if what your children would call their future spouses parents would bother you. Why should it matter to you as long as their future inlaws treat them well? Shouldn't they be allowed/able to make their own decisions between they and their spouses when they are married adults? Or unmarried adults, for that matter.

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juicygirl16 Posts : 49 Registered: 8/30/08
Re: My MIL just today requested that I call her Mom
Posted: Apr 3, 2010 11:17 PM Go to message in response to: cyndi33

No, although I do see your point. I guess it's just one of those personal decisions that everyone has to make, and for me I just like the idea of having the titles reserved for one's own parents. I guess I just can't imagine ever calling my spouse's mother, Mom, even though I really do like her and we get along great.

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cyndi33 Posts : 2,585 Registered: 1/3/07
Re: My MIL just today requested that I call her Mom
Posted: Apr 4, 2010 12:12 PM Go to message in response to: juicygirl16

I personally wouldn't either. But, I do call my stepmom, mom and my mom, mom. For a long time I didn't, but I do now so I could see how some people might. I think it should be up to the people involved and to each their own.

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Mrslinnben Posts : 2,285 Registered: 6/4/07
Re: My MIL just today requested that I call her Mom
Posted: Apr 5, 2010 2:06 PM Go to message in response to: cyndi33

I call my inlaws by their first name (at their request). My DH &one of my BIL really don't call my parents anything....my other BIL & one SIL call my parents Mom & Dad.....Now my brother & sister's call their M/FIL Mom & Dad.

To each his own, I guess....There is no right or wrong what you call your inlaws.

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Beeble Posts : 306 Registered: 11/19/09
Re: My MIL just today requested that I call her Mom
Posted: Apr 8, 2010 11:18 AM Go to message in response to: Mrslinnben

The other day I went out for lunch with my SO's mother. I call her by her first name. She introduced me to the waitress of their regular restaruant as her FDIL even though her son and I are not engaged. Do you think that's weird?

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time94am Posts : 42 Registered: 5/16/10
Re: My MIL just today requested that I call her Mom
Posted: May 16, 2010 2:50 PM Go to message in response to: Mushaboo

I call my in-laws by their first names, which seems totally natural. If your mother-in-law wishes you to call her mom, just say you will and then don't use any forms of address with her. That way, she can't argue that you refused to call her what she requested!

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MikaylaK Posts : 53 Registered: 5/23/10
Re: My MIL just today requested that I call her Mom
Posted: May 29, 2010 7:14 PM Go to message in response to: time94am

I usually just talk to my FMIL, I never know what to call her exactly. I'll see both her and my FFIL for the first time since we got engaged next month, so we'll see if there is a change there. We do get along quite well, I think, she's a very sweet lady.

At least I know what my FSIL's husband calls her (the nickname), so I might eventually call her that, too. With the FFIL I've used his first name on many occasions, so I'll stick to that.

My parents call their MILs the same way we call her. I'm not sure what my mum called hers before my sister was born (oldest grandchild), and I'm pretty sure my dad addressed his by her nickname. For his FIL he used the first name all along (my mum didn't have one, as my dad's dad died when he was 7).

And my sister calls her ILs by first name.

Funny a PP should have mentioned Satan. My other sister's FMIL is also known as that!

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Sunnijoy Posts : 32 Registered: 3/19/10
Re: My MIL just today requested that I call her Mom
Posted: Jun 10, 2010 1:41 PM Go to message in response to: Sunnijoy

I still find myself reverting to calling my mother-in-law by her first name and so don't know that I will ever fully transition to calling her mom. But I make the effort in e-mails to call my MIL mom since I know she likes it.


"Man's chief end is to glorify God and to enjoy Him forever." ~Westminister Catechism

I try to spread my message to the world the best way that I can give it
We can make it, always be optimistic
If you don’t listen, gotta live my life the best way that I can live it
With the faith of a mustard seed, you can move mountains
And only the heavenly father can ease the hurt
Just let it go and keep prayin’ on your knees in church (Let’s go)
And be hopeful, hopeful, and He’ll make a way
I know it ain’t easy but - that’s okay
Cause we hopeful -"Hope" by Twista and Faith Evans

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ArtBride Posts : 4,838 Registered: 5/9/07
Re: My MIL just today requested that I call her Mom
Posted: Jun 11, 2010 12:34 PM Go to message in response to: Sunnijoy

Glad it's working out for you. I wouldn't worry too much about slipping up and calling her by her first name, if that's more comfortable to you. I'm sure she can see that you're at least making the effort, and I'm sure she appreciates that.

While we're on the topic, does anybody have a situation where one sibling's spouse calls the ILs Mom and Dad and the other siblings spouses do not? Just wondering whether it's caused any issues for anybody's family and how you deal with them? Do the ILs favor the one that calls them Mom and Dad, and do you feel any pressure to do so, too?

DH is the middle brother. His older brother has been married for 6 years and has been in a relationship with his wife for almost 10 years total. DH and I have been married 2 years and also together 10 years total. My SIL and I have always called my ILs by their first names and neither of us changed that after our weddings. It always worked out very well. The younger brother got married shortly after we did, and no one in the family knew his wife before they got engaged - or perhaps my ILs had met her once. Anyway, she started calling my MIL Mom when they got engaged - and she LOVES it. My other BIL thinks that MIL likes her best for that reason, but I have another theory. In any case, she calls MIL Mom and the other two of us do not, and it's a little awkward sometimes.

Oh, and to answer the PP who asked whether it was weird that her FMIL referred to her as FDIL before they were engaged, that depends on the woman. My MIL called me her daughter for about five years before we got engaged or married. At the time, I thought it was nice. Now it kind of bothers me, but I know that it's kindly meant and that she doesn't intend to steal credit for me from my parents.

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Beeble Posts : 306 Registered: 11/19/09
Re: My MIL just today requested that I call her Mom
Posted: Jun 11, 2010 2:00 PM Go to message in response to: ArtBride

Art - yes i find her calling me her FDIL sweet. We actually ran into one of her co-workers at the airport going to vegas and she said how great it is to finally meet me, as "FMIL" talks of me often. When we got off the plane we bumped into each other in the ladies room and she went on again about how much "FMIL" LOVES me and how she thinks i'm the greatest thing to happen to her son. lol

When he does ask me to marry him I'll be very lucky to have a FMIL that I can relate to, honestly get along with, and can drop by for afternoon tea at short notice and have her be thrilled. If she wanted me to call her mom it would definately take some getting used to. I know it wouldn't mean any disrespect to my real mom, they also get along very well.

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