Post Wedding Blues?

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pb1119 Posts : 36 Registered: 11/19/07
Post Wedding Blues?
Posted: Dec 15, 2009 5:13 PM

I feel almost guilty for even saying this, but I feel kind of depressed now that my wedding is over. My wedding was my life for over a year...I put sooo much time, effort, detail, money, and energy into that day.

I guess I am just sad that it is over with.

I don't have any regrets about it...it was a perfect day and totally lived up to my expectations...I don't think I would have changed anything...which makes it even more depressing because it was so wonderful and now it's all over.

I didn't really feel this let down until a couple of days ago. Last week I got a new issue of Brides in the mail (I thought my subscription was over with but I guess not!) and attempted to flip through it and just thought "this sucks, none of these things are relevant to me anymore"...the ads for gowns actually made me feel sick to my stomach because there is literally no point in my looking at any of it, and I'll never wear a bridal gown again. Last week I also finally got my proofs from my photographer and can't seem to stop looking at them because they are all so great. But getting the pictures back makes it all the more final that it is really over with. And I have a friend who I know is getting engaged on Christmas, and even though I am truly happy for her, I can't help but feel a little sad because it reminds me that my engagement and planning and all the wonderfulness that went with all of it is ...over.

And then I feel terrible for feeling this way because I shouldn't feel this way...I love my husband and I'm very happy to be married, and I am also very happy for my friend. And my own wedding was great. So why do I feel this way? What is wrong with me??!!!


wedding countdown

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CatStandish Posts : 2,766 Registered: 6/20/08
Re: Post Wedding Blues?
Posted: Dec 15, 2009 6:58 PM Go to message in response to: pb1119

I feel your pain. <G>

I want to buy "Brides" magazines, but I'm not a bride to be any more, so I can't (just like you really can't unless you're engaged/soon to be engaged).

I had a great time PLANNING my wedding with my DH. He had a great time too. He keeps saying "we need to do that again."

Of course, DH is also doing my TTD shoots (note the S). We have several locations picked out and since it gets darker so much earlier now, we cannot do them all in a day. We did one at one of the locations, then threw in a bookstore since it was close by (I love those shots). But we have a playground we want to go to....so I have at least one more that he will be doing (so I get to wear my pretty dress again <G>)

But it was so much fun planning it. I almost want to see if my planner friend has anything that i can offer (the planner friend being the one who organizes regional bridal shows, does floral arrangements, etc). He has something called "The Wedding Workroom" which is really FRICKEN cool! (Basically, you make an appointment with him, and you get your own personal bridal show at YOUR convenience. He has vendors HE recommends and you pay nothing. He sets up the appointments with those vendors for you, and if you sign a contract, the vendor pays him a finders fee. But he'll do it so that you can come in, enjoy some mimosas and cookies while you look through books, talk to him about the vendors he has information on, and then he'll work to set up appointments with you. Kinda like a wedding planning service, but no cost. These are vendors he's worked with and can recommend, and he constantly evaluates them <As a photographer, he does get to see them in action in many places, so he could remove someone>.) However, he personally caters to the higher budget bride.

Me...I'm the low budget chiq .... and I can help someone do that.


I suspect this is why a lot of happy brides who had a successful wedding day turn to part time event planning themselves. They just had too much fun to stop!


Misty

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NJ4Life Posts : 3,358 Registered: 8/10/07
Re: Post Wedding Blues?
Posted: Dec 16, 2009 10:54 AM Go to message in response to: pb1119

Well I can't really sympathize b/c planning my wedding was the worst year of my life...BUT I just wanted to suggest planning trips, weekends, day trips with your DH. Just make plans, look into things, research, make itineraries or something. it will give you something to look forward to. And it will give you something to do together.

New Jersey: We have dumps, bays and cement boots and we know how to use 'em

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NessaRae615 Posts : 675 Registered: 9/23/08
Re: Post Wedding Blues?
Posted: Dec 16, 2009 1:30 PM Go to message in response to: NJ4Life

I totaly feel you. I felt the same way right after my wedding in May. However, DH and I started the whole house buying thing right after the wedding, so that took a lot of my time, looking at avalible houses, researching the neighborhoods, and the schools. Then we bought our house, and I do a lot of research on decorating tips, and DIY projects, looking into what it would take to redo our bathrooms. Now that most of that is out of the way, I do a lot of day dreaming of trips DH and I would like to take, I do the research on prices of things to do, and plane tickets, and other stuff. The trips arn't feasable now, but it gives me something to do with my time.

And like Cat, I have thought about looking into helping with wedding planning for lower budget brides, but I am afraid of the general public of brides, that that is stopping me, but my cousin did become a wedding planner after her wedding, and loves it.

Also take up a hobby, join a book club, or a group of women doing something you are interested in to help pass time.....Or tae up 3 jobs.....that worked for me also lol.


 

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HappyGirl13 Posts : 1,298 Registered: 4/21/08
Re: Post Wedding Blues?
Posted: Dec 16, 2009 2:54 PM Go to message in response to: NessaRae615

I feel you. I felt the same way. Even though planning my wedding was really stressful, I also enjoyed it in a lot of ways. I still bought a couple of wedding magazines even after the wedding was over...It was like "wedding porn" for me. DH thought I was crazy, but oh, well. Everything in bridal magazines is so PRETTY, so it's fun to look at!

The other PPs made good suggestions about finding involving yourself in other stuff that you find fun, but maybe like Cat said, planning might be something you could look into doing. It may be just part of your personality that you like that stuff. I know I get excited whenever I get to plan any sort of party or event, and I love holidays because even though I don't go as all-out as some people with gifts, decorations, etc., what I DO do I like to put thought into. So I get a little high around holiday time for the same reason I got a high off planning our wedding. I like planning what Christmas cards I'm going to get, what do I think would be the perfect gift for so-and-so this year, etc. So maybe find yourself a way to channel that energy.

preview image

 

 

 

 

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ArtBride Posts : 4,838 Registered: 5/9/07
Re: Post Wedding Blues?
Posted: Dec 16, 2009 3:32 PM Go to message in response to: pb1119

Really? I felt the opposite. As lovely as our wedding was, planning it really wasn't much fun for either of us. It was ANNOYING more than anything else. Once it was over, I was excited that I had time to get back to all my other interests that I had been neglecting.

I have fond memories of our wedding, but I don't feel like the best day of my life has passed. It was a good day - perhaps the best I've had so far - but there are so many high points yet to come.

As far as looking at wedding stuff goes, go ahead and flip through the magazines if you want to. If nothing else, you'll be up on the latest in weddings when your friend needs advice. If you feel like you need a wedding 'fix', help her with her planning. You can still be interested in wedding stuff now that you're married. If you like it, why not? I watch 'Say Yes to the Dress' every once in a while. Am I not allowed, since I'm married? It doesn't matter to me whether I'm going to wear a wedding dress again myself - I just like to play armchair wedding dress fashion police.

If you like that stuff, find a way to be involved with it. Help your friend with her wedding. Come on here and give advice to future brides and get excited about their weddings. Start an ebay business making and selling DIY wedding decorations if that's what you like. NJ gave you some good advice about planning trips or activities, and my advice is similar: find something else to get excited about. Try a new hobby, or pick up one you haven't done in a while. Now is a great opportunity to find something else that will excite and interest you!

DaisypathWedding Ticker

Vice President and Guardian of the Toilet Brush of POOP: People Offended by Offended People

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NJ4Life Posts : 3,358 Registered: 8/10/07
Re: Post Wedding Blues?
Posted: Dec 16, 2009 3:39 PM Go to message in response to: ArtBride

Armchair wedding dress police! OMG--thats awesome, and thats exactly what I do!

There is actually a show coming on TLC where 4 brides compare weddings and judge each other, and who ever gets the highest score wins a trip. thats crazy!

New Jersey: We have dumps, bays and cement boots and we know how to use 'em

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CheetahAngel Posts : 2,017 Registered: 11/29/08
Re: Post Wedding Blues?
Posted: Dec 22, 2009 3:28 PM Go to message in response to: pb1119

Hmmm you can start planning your second honeymoon lol! ;)
                           
  

Daisypath Wedding tickers

 

Visit my wedding website http://www.mywedding.com/alanandjarlyn

Sign my guestbook!!! :)



 


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pb1119 Posts : 36 Registered: 11/19/07
Re: Post Wedding Blues?
Posted: Jan 20, 2010 5:31 PM Go to message in response to: CheetahAngel

Thanks for all of the great advice ladies!

We actually haven't gone on our honeymoon yet...that is in April...and I'm planning it, so very excited about that.
but you know, planning a wedding is a whole other thing compared to planning a trip.

I've also thought about trying to get into a wedding planning business for budget minded brides, or DIY brides. It would just be such a hard thing to get started doing.

I think I'm getting better. I look at my wedding pictures a lot still. But that is what they are there for, right?

wedding countdown

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JennfromFolsom Posts : 34 Registered: 3/6/09
Re: Post Wedding Blues?
Posted: Jan 27, 2010 9:12 PM Go to message in response to: pb1119

Ahh I feel the same way lately, and god forbid I look at my professional pictures that we received a couple of weeks ago, people tell me to get over it, it's over. It's kind of depressing, we paid so much money for pictures and no one even wants to see them. I just put a few of them up in our home and at least I can see them! I also lost my job before the wedding....and still cannot find work, so I'm sure that makes the situation worse! I'm sure I wouldn't be on Brides.com if I were at work!

                                                       Jenn & Dave

                                       Married 10/4/09 Forest Hill, CA

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Eganey Posts : 2 Registered: 3/25/10
Re: Post Wedding Blues?
Posted: Mar 25, 2010 12:06 PM Go to message in response to: pb1119

I feel exactly the same way you describe! I just got married on 3/13/10 and it was an amazing day despite a few little things. But those little things didn't amount to anything in the long run because it was still amazing!
Now since that was over and now we are back from our honeymoon since 3/21, I keep feeling very depressed. I worked very hard on this wedding day, planning it for the 2 years we were engaged. Now it does feel like what is there to do now? It is the biggest day of your life and it's over in a blink of an eye. Everyone warned me about that and I definitely took everything/every moment in without missing anything. But no one really tells you about post-wedding blues. I keep trying to keep myself busy and doing other things, but it's still very sad.
I love my husband with all my heart and it is great being married to him. He is everything to me and I wouldn't change anything about him. But these post-blues really stink!

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Sunnijoy Posts : 32 Registered: 3/19/10
Re: Post Wedding Blues?
Posted: Mar 25, 2010 3:01 PM Go to message in response to: Eganey

I understand the way you feel. Weddings are such a big investment of time, money, and emotions.

But cheer up. Your adventures have only just begun.

Some of my post wedding highlights from my first month of marriage:

-The first time I cooked dinner for my husband.

-The first time my husband introduced me to people as his wife.

-Decorating with/ arranging our wedding gifts and using them for the first time.


And now that I am married, I have taken the role as Veteran bride and have been able to assist and encourage those of my friends who recently got engaged or married.

You have tons of great days ahead of you. And think, you can start now to imagine how you want to renew your vows. ;)
My husband and I are thinking on our ten year wedding anniversary we would like to runaway together to Europe and renew our vows there.


"Man's chief end is to glorify God and to enjoy Him forever." ~Westminister Catechism

I try to spread my message to the world the best way that I can give it
We can make it, always be optimistic
If you don’t listen, gotta live my life the best way that I can live it
With the faith of a mustard seed, you can move mountains
And only the heavenly father can ease the hurt
Just let it go and keep prayin’ on your knees in church (Let’s go)
And be hopeful, hopeful, and He’ll make a way
I know it ain’t easy but - that’s okay
Cause we hopeful -"Hope" by Twista and Faith Evans

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swichwang34 Posts : 657 Registered: 9/13/12
Re: Post Wedding Blues?
Posted: Sep 13, 2012 4:44 PM Go to message in response to: pb1119

Rosa Clara Wedding Dress Starting form 229.95USD
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