choosing a date

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mrsj2011 Posts : 31 Registered: 10/21/08
choosing a date
Posted: Mar 17, 2010 1:36 PM

I am not yet engaged but I know he has the ring, my sister told me he asked her opinion on it. My friend got engaged in December and she is planning her wedding September 2011. Im guessing he is going to propose soon, and I would like to have my wedding sometime soon or within the next year. I dont want to be rude and try to take any of the fun or anything away for her if I would try to plan it in April or May. Would any of you be upset if you were her?

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Marryingmytruel... Posts : 135 Registered: 2/11/10
Re: choosing a date
Posted: Mar 17, 2010 1:44 PM Go to message in response to: mrsj2011

I wouldn't be upset at all. I would be happy for you and thrilled to have someone to talk about wedding stuff with.

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HappyGirl13 Posts : 1,298 Registered: 4/21/08
Re: choosing a date
Posted: Mar 17, 2010 2:31 PM Go to message in response to: Marryingmytruel...

Hard to say--you know your friend the best. Some sensitive people out there would get upset if you got engaged second but planned your wedding to be first, though that doesn't mean they have the right to be upset.

BUT I can say that there's such a large spread of time between your weddings that it gives her little reason to be upset. If you were planning your wedding for, say, a month before hers, and if you have a lot of overlap on your guest lists, it would possibly make it hard for those overlapping guests to attend both weddings if they live out of town, and it would force them to choose between you. But that's not your case, so I think you're good.

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auntofthebride Posts : 9,354 Registered: 4/2/06
Re: choosing a date
Posted: Mar 17, 2010 6:03 PM Go to message in response to: mrsj2011

Dear Nic,

The bride "owns" her own wedding date. She does not own the surrounding week, the surrounding month nor the surrounding year.

Your friend has chosen to have a long engagement. She can't be surprised if other people get engaged and get married during her nearly two year engagement. Life goes on. You can't put your life on hold just because someone else chose a long engagement.

It's good of you to be sensitive to her feelings, and pick a date not terribly close to hers. Sometime later this year or early next year should be perfectly OK.

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mrsj2011 Posts : 31 Registered: 10/21/08
Re: choosing a date
Posted: Mar 18, 2010 7:38 AM Go to message in response to: auntofthebride

Thank you for you posts. I feel better about about it now. You are right she choose to have the long engagement and I am not planning on making the date close to hers. Now I just get to wait till it happens.

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