Interesting Wedding Budget Article Posted Right Here

Online Users: 1,330 guest(s), 0 user(s). Replies: 10


cyndi33 Posts : 2,585 Registered: 1/3/07
Interesting Wedding Budget Article Posted Right Here
Posted: Mar 15, 2010 6:38 PM

It's in Dividing Up the Budget and yes, ;it does tell people to go ask for money. It also gives a list of expectations for various family, traditional and modern, to pay toward said wedding. Found it pretty ironic, the site advocates doing exactly what most people here say NOT to do, go beg for money from all your family, including, "wealthy aunts". THat's for you AOTB. :)

 Proud Member of P.O.O.P.,  People Offended by Offended People

Reply


auntofthebride Posts : 9,354 Registered: 4/2/06
Re: Interesting Wedding Budget Article Posted Right Here
Posted: Mar 15, 2010 6:43 PM Go to message in response to: cyndi33

Dear Cyndi,

" go beg for money from all your family, including, "wealthy aunts". THat's for you AOTB. :) "

Wealthy aunts know better than to shell out money for Entitlement Queen/King relatives.

(LOL - Thanks!)

Reply


FrancieElaine Posts : 654 Registered: 6/26/09
Re: Interesting Wedding Budget Article Posted Right Here
Posted: Mar 15, 2010 7:21 PM Go to message in response to: cyndi33

That is so funny! I always get cracked up when I read posts from brides-to-be who "expect" others to pay for their wedding. I don't know if it's a generational thing or a cultural issue, but it seems some people have a real sense of entitlement. My son is engaged and he has not asked me to pay for one thing. I did speak with his Father, and we are going to split the cost of the rehearsal dinner because that is within tradition. If I am financially able to give more, I will.... and with no strings attached!

Francie Elaine, The Bride Whisperer

www.bride-whisperer.com

http://twitter.com/BrideWhispering

http://bridewhisperer.blogspot.com  

 

Reply


FutureMrsKlein Posts : 164 Registered: 5/2/09
Re: Interesting Wedding Budget Article Posted Right Here
Posted: Mar 15, 2010 8:13 PM Go to message in response to: FrancieElaine

It may be a generational thing, but for me, my parents always spoke about "when we throw your wedding" and stuff like that. Yet we were engaged and looking for places and we finally had to ask them if they wanted to contribute because they didn't bring it up.

I can't imagine asking other relatives to pay for the wedding. Good lord.

Reply


auntofthebride Posts : 9,354 Registered: 4/2/06
Re: Interesting Wedding Budget Article Posted Right Here
Posted: Mar 15, 2010 9:49 PM Go to message in response to: FutureMrsKlein

Ladies,

I remember one. It went something like this:

"An average wedding around here is $20k. How can I ask my aunt and grandmother to give me the money for a wedding? I know they have it. They just got back from a trip to Paris."

Reply


ArtBride Posts : 4,838 Registered: 5/9/07
Re: Interesting Wedding Budget Article Posted Right Here
Posted: Mar 16, 2010 8:25 AM Go to message in response to: FrancieElaine

I don't know if it's a generational thing or a cultural issue, but it seems some people have a real sense of entitlement.

It's certainly not a generational thing, or all the 20-something and 30-something brides would be doing it. I certainly wasn't raised to believe that anybody owes me anything, including my parents - quite the contrary. I was raised with the understanding that I deserve great things, but I have to earn them myself.

I also have a hard time believing that it's a cultural thing, or else all the brides from a certain group (be it based on geographic area, social class, etc) would be doing it. Yet we've all heard of people from all walks of life who feel that they're entitled to something.

DaisypathWedding Ticker

Vice President and Guardian of the Toilet Brush of POOP: People Offended by Offended People

Reply

hljanes Posts : 57 Registered: 12/31/09
Re: Interesting Wedding Budget Article Posted Right Here
Posted: Mar 16, 2010 11:39 AM Go to message in response to: cyndi33

We did ask our parents - I asked my father and mother (parents are divorced) if they thought they would be able to help us with the wedding at all. I certainly didn't demand they pay, particularly because I know both sides of my family live paycheck to paycheck. They both said they can't committ to anything, and that was that for me.

FH was furious. His parents are giving us about 20% of the budget; the rest is coming from us. My stepmother (who is separated from my dad) has kindly offered to pay for my dress, and she is the only person on my side who has offered to help us, while my mother adds people to the guest list who I haven't seen in twenty years.

Yeah, it frustrates me that my family won't help, particularly when my mother seems more than willing to adhere to other traditions (like inviting her friends who barely know me). But I was already trying to plan the wedding based just on what we could afford ourselves so...

Heather

Reply


auntofthebride Posts : 9,354 Registered: 4/2/06
Re: Interesting Wedding Budget Article Posted Right Here
Posted: Mar 16, 2010 11:48 AM Go to message in response to: ArtBride

Dear AB,

"It's certainly not a generational thing, or all the 20-something and 30-something brides would be doing it."

I just think it's a family finance thing.

I grew up in an upper middle class family. From early childhood, I attended weddings with my parents. Usually the bride and groom similarly came from upper middle class families. The bride's parents were always the hosts; that was just "normal". I "simply" took for granted that my parents would launch me out into the world. They would pay for my college education and they would pay for my wedding. It never occured to me to think otherwise. That's how our extended family did things. That's what my parents talked about as I grew up.

So, that's what happened. My parents bought me a car when I was a high school senior, they paid for my college education and they paid for my wedding.

Similarly, this is what I have done for my children, so far. We bought them cars when they were in high school. We paid for their college. Neither of my two sons are married (hell hasn't frozen over, yet), but if either of them get married, we will give him a cash gift. We intend to give the cash gift at the age of 30, should they get that old without being married.

If I had a daughter, I would either give her a cash gift for her wedding, or would just plan and pay for the wedding with her. It would depend, entirely, on her wants and needs. Similarly, any hypothetical future daughter-in-law could come from a wealthy family or a low-income family, we have no clue. Such a HFDIL might want a big wedding or might want to go to the courthouse. We'll just take it as it comes, but we have the cash stashed away for whatever happens.

My niece was in an entirely different situation. (A niece came to live with use following the deaths of her parents, and I love her like a daughter.) She had her own money, inherited from her late parents, so there was no real need for us to fund her wedding. We did give her a cash gift, as we wanted her to be married "from home", and wanted her to forever think of our home as her home.


****

Having said all that, it depends very much on the personality of the young person. Does that young person have a history of responsible behavior? Is that young person prudent with money? Can he or she budget and live within their means? I would gladly give a cash gift to either of my two children or to my niece. I have other young friends, nieces and nephews that are responsible young people, and I would not hesitate to give them a cash gift. I know a few other young people who are not responsible, and I would not ever trust with a cash gift. One in particular is called "Spoiled Brat" in our family and her married live-in boyfriend is called "Turdhead". I have a distant cousin who is a drug addict, and not one penny of my cash will ever land in his pocket.

Reply


bosoxgirl Posts : 231 Registered: 2/3/10
Re: Interesting Wedding Budget Article Posted Right Here
Posted: Mar 16, 2010 1:20 PM Go to message in response to: cyndi33

The day I met my exboyfriend 4 years ago was the day my mother said, "Don't expect us to pay for your wedding. That's on you."

My mom makes enough to make ends meat and I know if she had the extra money, she would gladly throw me a wedding. But come to think of it, my mother IS helping me financially. I live at home rent free and the money that I would use for apartment rent is being put away in my savings.

So yes, my mom is helping me!!

THANKS MOM!!

 

  

Daisypath Anniversary tickers

 

 

Reply


MagicalMomentsP... Posts : 742 Registered: 3/6/06
Re: Interesting Wedding Budget Article Posted Right Here
Posted: Mar 16, 2010 9:59 PM Go to message in response to: bosoxgirl

But come to think of it, my mother IS helping me financially.
I live at home rent free and the money that I would use for apartment
rent is being put away in my savings.

So yes, my mom is helping me!!

THANKS MOM!!

Just make sure your mom knows you appreciate her helping you out by allowing you to live rent free.

Howard Kier, Certified Professional Wedding Photographer

Magical Moments Photography


Reply


auntofthebride Posts : 9,354 Registered: 4/2/06
Re: Interesting Wedding Budget Article Posted Right Here
Posted: Mar 16, 2010 10:42 PM Go to message in response to: bosoxgirl

Dear Bosox,

"My mom makes enough to make ends meat "

Sounds like your mom did a great job and produced a responsible daughter. She's given you the best gift of all. Too bad that daughter has some funny spelling challenges! (LOL)

Reply
RSS

Thank You
for Signing Up!

Check your e-mail inbox for the latest updates from brides.com

Give a Subscription to Brides Magazine as a Gift
Subscribe to Brides magazine