what is one piece of advice:

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splusn Posts : 2 Registered: 3/4/10
what is one piece of advice:
Posted: Mar 12, 2010 12:23 PM

What is one piece of advice you would offer other couples who are starting the wedding planning process?

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Bride2008 Posts : 3,058 Registered: 3/28/06
Re: what is one piece of advice:
Posted: Mar 12, 2010 1:08 PM Go to message in response to: splusn

Do one thing at a time. It is easy to become overwhelmed if you are trying to think about everything at once. Pace yourself and you should be mostly ok.

 

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MrsCP3 Posts : 456 Registered: 4/21/08
Re: what is one piece of advice:
Posted: Mar 12, 2010 1:22 PM Go to message in response to: splusn

Make spreadsheets. Budget spreadsheets, guestlist spreadsheets, to-do list/timeline spreadsheets... doing so will help you stay organized, and (IMHO) make everything much less stressful. This will especially come in handy when you start getting RSVPs back, deciding on A/B lists, etc.

 

 

 

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jeaniebelle87 Posts : 137 Registered: 11/23/07
Re: what is one piece of advice:
Posted: Mar 12, 2010 2:12 PM Go to message in response to: MrsCP3

Oh, you're a girl after my own heart! I love spreadsheets!!!
My advice would be this: Never spend money you don't have. Don't charge it unless you have the money to pay it off in your bank account. Don't count on money from sources other than your own until it is in your bank account, or in the hands of a vendor on your behalf.

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auntofthebride Posts : 9,354 Registered: 4/2/06
Re: what is one piece of advice:
Posted: Mar 12, 2010 2:24 PM Go to message in response to: splusn

Dear SP,

Learn how to say "No".

No, I don't need engraved personalized toasting flutes.
No, I don't need a professional makeup artist.
No, I don't need embossed matchbook covers.

If you want flutes, makeup or matchbooks, then great. But don't let people bulldoze you into getting things that mean nothing to you.

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NJ4Life Posts : 3,358 Registered: 8/10/07
Re: what is one piece of advice:
Posted: Mar 12, 2010 3:34 PM Go to message in response to: splusn

Turn off the wedding shows on TV and close the wedding magazines. They will end up making you feel bad about what you can and cannot afford.

New Jersey: We have dumps, bays and cement boots and we know how to use 'em

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MsDenuninani Posts : 3,962 Registered: 3/16/07
Re: what is one piece of advice:
Posted: Mar 12, 2010 4:26 PM Go to message in response to: splusn

Before you do battle with the wedding industry, read One Perfect Day: The Selling of the American Wedding. Helped me out a ton.


__________________________________________

"I'd hate to advocate drugs, alcohol, or insanity, but they've always worked for me." Hunter S. Thompson

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HappyGirl13 Posts : 1,298 Registered: 4/21/08
Re: what is one piece of advice:
Posted: Mar 12, 2010 5:45 PM Go to message in response to: auntofthebride

Along the same lines as what Aunt says: Decide what you care about, then let the rest go.

Obviously, you should care about whether your guests are comfortable and fed and know how to get where they need to go.

But beyond that, people might tell you you have to wear makeup or get it professionally done that day. You don't. You may not care about flowers--if not, don't spend a lot of time or money on them. You may not care a whole lot about what kind of dress you wear (most brides care a LOT, so I know that would be unusual, but you get the point)--so don't spend a whole lot of time on that.

Spend your time, energy and money in the areas that are the most important elements to you, and graciously accept any advice given (if possible), but then let it roll off your back if you don't think it's something you need or want. If you want a great-tasting cake, invest your time on cake tastings. If you want great photography, spend a bunch of your time interviewing and looking at photographers' portfolios.

Good luck!

preview image

 

 

 

 

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FrancieElaine Posts : 654 Registered: 6/26/09
Re: what is one piece of advice:
Posted: Mar 12, 2010 6:24 PM Go to message in response to: splusn

Run! Run Fast! Nah.... I'm just kidding! My advice would be to keep your eyes on the prize.. and that is your love, your committment you have with your FH. Never lose sight of what the whole thing is about. Congrats Girlfriend!

Francie Elaine, The Bride Whisperer

www.bride-whisperer.com

http://twitter.com/BrideWhispering

http://bridewhisperer.blogspot.com  

 

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August28th Posts : 153 Registered: 1/28/09
Re: what is one piece of advice:
Posted: Mar 12, 2010 6:44 PM Go to message in response to: splusn

Well, I have two pieces!

Don't try to please everyone, because it will not happen! You and FH should decide things the way you want them. Everyone else contributing money has a say, but that should be it. Don't bend over backwards so your MOH has the perfect day, it's your day... and that brings me to my next piece.

Pick your wedding party carefully. They may (or may not) be the ones supporting and helping you through this process. They may (or may not) help ease the stress that comes along with planning a wedding. I would also suggest having a married woman in your party (only if you're close to her, of course), someone who's been there and understands that it's not all dress and flower shopping; but budgets, seating charts, and thank you notes also.

My two cents, good luck!!


True love is like a ghost which many talk about but few have ever seen.

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auntofthebride Posts : 9,354 Registered: 4/2/06
Re: what is one piece of advice:
Posted: Mar 12, 2010 8:48 PM Go to message in response to: MsDenuninani

Dear MsD,

"Before you do battle with the wedding industry, read One Perfect Day: The Selling of the American Wedding. Helped me out a ton. "

Yes, an excellent book.

When I got married, I read a similar book called "The Eternal Bliss Machine". It really opened my eyes to the whole wedding industrial complex. I was able to say "No" "No" and "No" without wondering if I was missing something incredibly important.

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Brooke051609 Posts : 723 Registered: 12/31/07
Re: what is one piece of advice:
Posted: Mar 13, 2010 3:58 PM Go to message in response to: auntofthebride

Awesome thread!!

I agree with what PP's said and here's a few more things.

Always communicate with your FH. This engagement and planning period is great practice for compromise and communication. Once you both agree on the things you both want, stand your ground. Remember it's your wedding day, not anyone else's and don't let someone else live their wedding dreams through you if you don't want to.

If there's something different you want to do, like Wedding Pie instead of cake, or something like that, go ahead and do it! Make this day uniquely your own and don't worry what everyone else says about it!

Depending on your financial situation, if your parents and his offer to help pay for the wedding, that's wonderful! But, you'll find out (from many threads on here and throughout the process) that money comes with strings. So if you take money, you need to be prepared to be told how to do things and how to spend it. Even if it's not directly.

The guest list is bar-none THE MOST STRESSFUL part of the wedding planning, at least I thought so! So get that all mapped out, on spreadsheets, and get it finalized. Make sure you take into account when venue shopping and catering shopping the finances involved in accomidating your guest list, so you won't end up booking your dream venue and it only holds 100 but you have 350 on your guest list!! Just stay organized, I had a 3 ring binder with dividers and had everything right in one spot, so if I ever needed something I knew right where to find it.

But most of all, just have fun! And remember, you're only planning for ONE DAY, not even that, about 5 or 6 hours of a day! So, while it is an extrememly important time, keep that idea in mind when planning. Plan for your MARRIAGE, the days AFTER the wedding. Many brides only focus on the wedding day and then have no clue where to go after the honeymoon. Discuss living arrangements, finances, jobs, moving? Children, roles and responsibilities, etc... before the wedding. So when you get home from the honeymoon the transition will go even more smoothly and start your marriage off on the right foot!

Oh! And another great book is "What No One Tells the Bride" AWESOME for brides-to-be and newlyweds!! I HIGHLY recommend it!!

I guess that was a lot more than one piece of advice! haha

Best Wishes!!!

Daisypath

"Come What May...."

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RedCat Posts : 9 Registered: 8/2/09
Re: what is one piece of advice:
Posted: Mar 13, 2010 5:37 PM Go to message in response to: splusn

BE YOURSELVES! This is your day and his! Not your mothers, not his mothers, not your boss's, not your sisters or friends. its both of yours. make the wedding about the two of you, and about your style! Do things your way. The only persons approval you need is your fiance's.
oh, and stick to your original guest list, no last minute add-ons ( like the 20 or more that will pop up last minute asking to). Be firm!
May 15 2010!

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