Bad advice to couple who eloped!

Online Users: 1,278 guest(s), 0 user(s). Replies: 5

SarahSarah Posts : 93 Registered: 10/9/09
Bad advice to couple who eloped!
Posted: Mar 11, 2010 9:47 AM

This 'advice' lady is giving the OK for a second wedding, even though this couple is already married. Yeesh.


FutureMrsDJLeo Posts : 615 Registered: 2/26/09
Re: Bad advice to couple who eloped!
Posted: Mar 11, 2010 12:14 PM Go to message in response to: SarahSarah

The OK to have a second wedding isn't what I have a problem with, it's the fact that she's telling this person it's OK to lie, and that it WILL be totally different from the legal ceremony, vs. when they celebrate in front of their loved ones. Um, NO! They decided to get married then and there, it's really unfair for them to lie to their guests. Then she talks about how she was at a wedding and the couple lied about already being married. I really have no problem with second weddings, but if I was invited to one and the couple was lying about it I would RSVP no in a heartbeat!


MsDenuninani Posts : 3,962 Registered: 3/16/07
Re: Bad advice to couple who eloped!
Posted: Mar 11, 2010 1:04 PM Go to message in response to: SarahSarah

The truth is, about three years ago, I would have given her very similar advice. That, essentially, it was no one's business.

I had no idea that this was such a huge deal for people until I "met" the women of these boards. Until I met some of y'all, as far as I'm concerned, whether the couple was already legally married had the same bearing on how I felt about going as the religion of the people involved -- zip, nada.

When I posed this hypothetical to my husband a few years ago (I wanted to see if it was just me who wouldn't care), he said the same thing -- it's no one's business, and the wedding ceremony in front of your family & friends is the "real" wedding, anyway.

In other words, what I'm saying is that while there are certainly many people who feel that this is lying, there are many people who really don't think it's any of their personal business and don't think people are obligated to share. To me, the real problem of the advice is that the advice-giver is advising her to lie -- and to ask others to lie for her. That's bad news, and bound to fail.


"I'd hate to advocate drugs, alcohol, or insanity, but they've always worked for me." Hunter S. Thompson


StarlitHolly Posts : 47 Registered: 2/23/10
Re: Bad advice to couple who eloped!
Posted: Mar 11, 2010 6:13 PM Go to message in response to: SarahSarah

If they've been together for a while and they were "pretty much going to get married anyway", then they're really making a mountain out of a molehill.
Just tell everyone the same way they would if they were announcing an engagement! Send out pretty announcements with a cute photo of the couple, saying "On such-and-such a date, Miss ____ and Mr. ____ are thrilled to announce that they eloped on _,__, 2010."
Friends of mine did this and it was awesome! They also slipped a "come celebrate with us if you can" invite to join them for a trip to New Orleans (a trip they'd been planning for a while).
Lying to their friends and family is a Bad Idea.

✩ ✩ ✩ ✩ the world is made of faith and trust and pixie dust ✩ ✩ ✩ ✩ 

21. Canadian. Living in Hawaii. Stay-At-Home Wife.


FutureMrsLevine Posts : 77 Registered: 12/28/09
Re: Bad advice to couple who eloped!
Posted: Mar 11, 2010 6:31 PM Go to message in response to: StarlitHolly

I have no problem with someone having a second's no different than when someone has a ceremony to renew their vows...I do however think it is wrong to lie to your family and friends about it. I have a friend who eloped, and now that she and her husband are out of college, they are having the wedding they've been wanting. I see no problem with this. It is their decision and if that is what makes them happy, so be it!
"The first time in your arms I knew, the way you held me, I knew that this could be what I've been waiting to find."







jackson132 Posts : 1,623 Registered: 9/13/12
Re: Bad advice to couple who eloped!
Posted: Sep 14, 2012 5:16 AM Go to message in response to: SarahSarah

Jennifer Bridal Dress Show, Starting from 229.99USD
Click Here:


Thank You
for Signing Up!

Check your e-mail inbox for the latest updates from

Give a Subscription to Brides Magazine as a Gift
Subscribe to Brides magazine