What does this mean?

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mainstdancer08 Posts : 140 Registered: 3/27/08
What does this mean?
Posted: Jan 29, 2010 5:57 PM

Me and my bf (i'm 20 and he is 25) have been together for almost 21 months now and we looked at rings the other day at Wal-Mart and found one for $98 that was really pretty and had a diamond (yeah I know it sounds cheap but thats all my bf can afford due to financial reasons since he is the only one currently working right now and the only income i have is food stamps, also we're both in college) and after we looked at the ring, on the drive home he asked me ''Are you sure you wouldn't want a bigger diamond?'' and I said ''I like that ring cause its perfect for me since I have small fingers''. Lately, he has told me that he has a serious proposal planned but the only details he has told me is that it involves a ring and him on one knee (I kinda knew that since its obvious). Today, he bought a external hard drive case for his computer since the one he had broke and i asked him if he was going to buy anything else and he said ''I'm not going to tell you''. I think he might propose soon cause he has been asking some of his friends to see if they can help him with it. What do you all think especially since he keeps telling me that he is going to buy something but can't tell me what it is?

Edited by: mainstdancer08 on Jan 29, 2010 6:03 PM

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NoseInTheGrass Posts : 31 Registered: 11/1/09
Re: What does this mean?
Posted: Jan 29, 2010 8:32 PM Go to message in response to: mainstdancer08

I think you should tell him not to worry about the ring's price at all. My boy hasn't proposed to me yet and the only reason is because he can't afford a ring. Most of the rings I like are between $50-$150. If you really want to find a ring that is very pretty, but cheaper for him to get you, get something that isn't a diamond. You can find a ton of REALLY pretty rings on etsy.com.

I think he really wants to get you a ring, just be patient. :) I hope it comes soon!! (I hope mine comes soon too.)
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ChrisBride Posts : 33 Registered: 1/14/09
Re: What does this mean?
Posted: Jan 29, 2010 11:50 PM Go to message in response to: NoseInTheGrass

I agree with both of you the same reason why we haven't gotten engaged yet is because he had his hours from work cut and can't afford a ring. From what it sounds like he's getting ready to...but he may be trying to make you wait so that it's not so obvious. Hopefully soon you'll hear something GOOD LUCK!!
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mainstdancer08 Posts : 140 Registered: 3/27/08
Re: What does this mean?
Posted: Feb 10, 2010 12:03 PM Go to message in response to: mainstdancer08

UPDATE: Me and my bf haven't discussed engagement or even the ring at all lately since right now money is tight and I doubt that a engagement will happen anytime soon even though he told me that he is planning on proposing when it is warmer weather (meaning spring or summer). Sometimes when we go to walmart (which is where the ring is at) we sometimes walk by the jewlery area and my bf can't help but just point the ring out to me. I'm trying my best not to get my hopes up but it is defiently hard not to.
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bosoxgirl Posts : 231 Registered: 2/3/10
Re: What does this mean?
Posted: Feb 10, 2010 1:37 PM Go to message in response to: mainstdancer08

(yeah I know it sounds cheap but thats all my bf can afford due to financial reasons since he is the only one currently working right now and the only income i have is food stamps, also we're both in college)

Are you guys working on finances and finishing up school? There is nothing wrong with dating someone for over 2 years and not having a ring (you saw that I broke off my engagement because we are not financially stable yet). You are saying that he is the only one working and you are living off food stamps...is that how it is going to be when you two marry in the future? It is such a harsh economy out there!!! Just enjoy dating and when the time is right, I'm sure he will pop the question!





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BrighterThanSun... Posts : 853 Registered: 10/17/08
Re: What does this mean?
Posted: Feb 10, 2010 1:48 PM Go to message in response to: bosoxgirl

I have to agree with bosox,

Don't even worry about getting engaged until you guys are more stable and set up for your marriage together. You guys don't sound financially stable.

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mainstdancer08 Posts : 140 Registered: 3/27/08
Re: What does this mean?
Posted: Feb 10, 2010 2:15 PM Go to message in response to: bosoxgirl

I'm trying my best to find a job but no one will take me since I have no work experience, i've been job searching for 11 months now.
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bosoxgirl Posts : 231 Registered: 2/3/10
Re: What does this mean?
Posted: Feb 10, 2010 2:51 PM Go to message in response to: mainstdancer08

Can I ask where you are living now? Are you living with your boyfriend or with your parents?

I'd like to tell you that "all you need is love to get by," but that is not the case. If you two have no money and he is the only one working in the relationship, where are you going to live when you get married? Can you pay the rent? how are you going to eat? what is your mode of transportation? Do you have health insurance? Do you have savings? How will you pay taxes? How about utility bills? You really need to face reality when it comes down to it. Money is the biggest factor when you get married. You are building a life together and that life includes housing, mortgage/rent, bills and sometimes, debt. It's not all flowers and rainbows...think about it.

You may need to start from the very bottom. When I was 15, I was working at McDonald's after school for 4 hours, 5 days a week. When I turned 18 (when i could drive) I started working at Kohl's department store. I am 22 and now a supervisor for a financial institute. I went to college but didn't finish, I never liked school and it wasn't for me. But that didn't stop me from having a decent job. If you say you are in school now, when you finish, how are you going to find a job then if you have no working experience?

 

  

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mainstdancer08 Posts : 140 Registered: 3/27/08
Re: What does this mean?
Posted: Feb 10, 2010 3:12 PM Go to message in response to: bosoxgirl

I'm living with my bf and I'm getting help from my parents to pay my half of the rent which includes utilites (electric & cable/internet). I have medical insurance but it will last for 3 more years which will suck when I don't have medical insurance anymore because I am on seizure medication but I have talked to my neurologist and he said I can still work as long as I take my medication. The reason why I am living with my boyfriend is due to personal reasons that have to involve my family. I'm working my hardest to get a job, I have applied everywhere (fast food places, walmart, target, kohls, etc.) and have got nothing. I'm going to keep applying to places as how much as I can til I find a job. Last summer (2009) I was offered a job with Vector Marketing selling expensive knives but after doing some searching on the internet I found out that Vector Marketing is basically a scam so I called them back and told them that I would be looking for another job. My mode of transportation is either walking or riding my bike.
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mainstdancer08 Posts : 140 Registered: 3/27/08
Re: What does this mean?
Posted: Feb 10, 2010 9:33 PM Go to message in response to: mainstdancer08

I plan on waiting now and tonight once my bf comes home i will discuss it with him.
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bosoxgirl Posts : 231 Registered: 2/3/10
Re: What does this mean?
Posted: Feb 10, 2010 10:34 PM Go to message in response to: mainstdancer08

The things you seriously need to consider:

1. Getting a job (getting a job provides income. when you have income you can apply for a credit card. credit card helps develop a credit score. credit score will help you with loans/leasing in the future)

2. Finishing school (when you have a degree, you will have a better job. But you can't find a job after college if you don't have a job now. If you don't have work experience on your resume, you will never find work. If you don't have a full time job, you wont have benefits!!!!!)

3. Saving (you should have at least 6 months of rent/bills saved. What if one day you get fired? You need to have money to fall back on. The average person usually finds a new job within a few months. With this economy, it can take longer. The more you have saved, the better)

I have no idea how you can even think of marriage and engagement without completing any of those. I understand you love each other, trust me, I know (Remember, I am in a relationship too and just broke off my engagement-I am head over heals for my FH too) but you need cover YOUR butt and put YOU first. If you aren't established and your boyfriend isn't established, your marriage is not established. Please also think about this, what if you and your boyfriend split up? What will happen to you? Do you move back with your parents? Will they support you financially too? You need to think realistically.

I could understand if your boyfriend finished school and made an annual salary that totaled two salaries combined, but he doesn't. You two are BARELY getting by. Please, talk to your boyfriend and bring up these points. Don't let him say "don't worry.. things will get better in the future." You aren't living in the future. You are living in the present.

 

  

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