Who walks me down the aisle?

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bridalBunch Posts : 14 Registered: 1/18/10
Who walks me down the aisle?
Posted: Feb 9, 2010 11:40 PM

I'm contemplating having both my dad and my older brother walk me down the aisle. My brother isn't really close with my fiance, which is why he's not a groomsman -- plus fiance has tons-o-close friends who are groomsmen. But brother and I are very close and I want him involved in some significant way during the wedding. Like more signficant than ushering. However, I'm also close to my dad and do not want to take away his spotlight or send the message that my dad alone wasn't adequate enough or something like that. Also, I don't want him to stand up on my side. He for sure wouldn't be comfortable with that and neither would I.

What do you think? I know you don't know my dad, but would you guess a dad to be offended if his role was shared? Or can you think of something else for my brother to do? Any suggestions are welcome!

Thanks,
B

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auntofthebride Posts : 9,354 Registered: 4/2/06
Re: Who walks me down the aisle?
Posted: Feb 10, 2010 9:15 AM Go to message in response to: bridalBunch

Dear BB,

Ah, yes, the classic problem of the role for the brother of the bride or sister of the groom. Brides's sisters are bridesmaids. Groom's brothers are groomsmen.

What about your brother?

I say make him a Bride's Brother. In other words, he stands with you on your side while you get married. He's your brother, after all, and would be there had he been your sister.

For attire, he does not go transvestite. He gets nice menswear of similar style and formality as the other men on the groom's side, but different. He might wear a tie or vest of a different color and a different jacket.

Brother might object to being part of the estrogen-heavy bridal procession. If so, he would enter the church with the rest of the men, from a side door, but move over to the "other" side of the aisle so he can stand on your side during the ceremony.

For the recessional, he either walks alone or escorts a bridesmaid, depending on the mathematics.

Ideally, your groom might have a sister who would similarly stand on the groom's side as Groom's Sister. Sis and Bro can recess out together.

Finally: Yes, if you want to ask your father to escort you in, then do that and let that be his time in the spotlight with you, and only you.

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VntgGoth2010 Posts : 57 Registered: 1/24/10
Re: Who walks me down the aisle?
Posted: Feb 10, 2010 5:37 PM Go to message in response to: auntofthebride

Aunt,

I think that is a fabulous suggestion. I have never seen a man stand next to bride but I love that thought.

OP - Who knows, if you're brother is single, he might have the single ladies eyeing him while he stands very proudly next to his sister.

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springorchid Posts : 176 Registered: 4/8/07
Re: Who walks me down the aisle?
Posted: Feb 10, 2010 5:46 PM Go to message in response to: bridalBunch

Dear BB,

I understand trying to figure out what to do about brothers. I have two brothers and no father. So my debate is over having them both walk me down the isle, the oldest walk me down the isle, or neither. Then there is the father daughter dance....do I pick one, split the dance, or do I dance with my FFIL who has been a father to me for 5+ years?

As far as your situation, I think that you should have your dad walk you down the isle. You said that you are close with your dad, so I would think that he would be hurt if you don't ask him to walk you down the isle.

For your brother- honestly, I can't think of anything more significant than ushering/seating grandparents that doesn't put him in with your bridesmaids, not without him taking privledges from you dad or doing something like adding a dance (long dance/speach time is currently a point being discussed as a pet peeve on another thread).

Talk to them both and get their opinions. Maybe your father wouldn't like to dance or your brother would love to stand by you.

Good luck!

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springorchid Posts : 176 Registered: 4/8/07
Re: Who walks me down the aisle?
Posted: Feb 10, 2010 5:46 PM Go to message in response to: bridalBunch

Dear BB,

I understand trying to figure out what to do about brothers. I have two brothers and no father. So my debate is over having them both walk me down the isle, the oldest walk me down the isle, or neither. Then there is the father daughter dance....do I pick one, split the dance, or do I dance with my FFIL who has been a father to me for 5+ years?

As far as your situation, I think that you should have your dad walk you down the isle. You said that you are close with your dad, so I would think that he would be hurt if you don't ask him to walk you down the isle.

For your brother- honestly, I can't think of anything more significant than ushering/seating grandparents that doesn't put him in with your bridesmaids, not without him taking privledges from you dad or doing something like adding a dance (long dance/speach time is currently a point being discussed as a pet peeve on another thread).

Talk to them both and get their opinions. Maybe your father wouldn't like to dance or your brother would love to stand by you.

Good luck!

Reply


springorchid Posts : 176 Registered: 4/8/07
Re: Who walks me down the aisle?
Posted: Feb 10, 2010 5:48 PM Go to message in response to: springorchid

Sorry for the double post, not sure what happened.

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