I need help. We have already ordered the cake and printed the invitations. In gathering addresses for the invitations, my future mother-in-law added 10 addresses to the list. We are already at our limit and expect most people to show up since they are local. These additional 10 address could add at least 20 people to our event. They are extended cousins, her co-workers, her friends... People my fiancee and I don't know. I have limited my side so shouldn't the same rules apply? How do I nicely say we don't have room?
"I'm terribly sorry and it pains me greatly to impart this information to you, but we don't have room."
"We don't have room."
"Go pound sand."
I'm just kidding on the last one. You cannot go over the limit on your guests. You must set up a guest list expecting each and every invited person to be there. A lot of people figure they can ask a few extras, as they expect some to decline. That is skating on thin ice.
What if the room holds 100 and you invite 110, expecting a 10% decline rate? What if 103 people show up? What three people are you going to bump?
Next suggestion: Have FH deal with his own mom. He should be the one to tell Mom that you cannot accommodate those extra people.
"I am really sorry. I am sure these people are very close to you and I know that you want them present for our wedding day, but we do not have anymore room or budget to accomidate them. Everything has already been finalized."
When co-workers, collegues, distant family members start showing up on the list...people that you have never met, that's where the line gets drawn, especially if you and your FH are the only ones paying for the wedding. Wedding costs are not cheap! It would have also helped that your MIL gave you the names of these people when you were searching for your venue! Now that you have your venue chosen and the guest list finalized, there is nothing you can. Just tell her that.
"And now I know why all the tree's change in the fall. I know you were on my side even when I was wrong. I love you for giving me you eyes. Standing back and watching me shine. I didn't know if you knew so I am taking this chance to say, 'I had the best day with you today."
The ladies are absolutely right. Let your FH handle the situation. If your soon to be mom in law wants these guests to be part of the celebration, maybe she can host a party for you after the wedding?
My FH and I are throwing a casual reception later in the spring for extended friends & family, (his side of the family is ENORMOUS) and it's a way for them to celebrate with us without breaking our banks! Good luck.
"life is not a dress rehearsal, so live like it's showtime!"