As a wedding guest I hate....

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PharmToxGirl Posts : 5,446 Registered: 8/30/07
Re: As a wedding guest I hate....
Posted: Feb 7, 2010 2:24 PM Go to message in response to: April2010Bride

April - That's completely different in my opinion. I'm from NJ - cash bars are NOT the norm. My attitude is either have alcohol with an open bar (even if it's wine and beer) OR have no alcohol.

I don't carry ANY cash on me when I go to a wedding. I do enjoy a glass of wine. A cash bar would be annoying.

Would I say anything - No. But I would think it was tacky.

 

 

 

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April2010Bride Posts : 134 Registered: 4/26/09
Re: As a wedding guest I hate....
Posted: Feb 7, 2010 2:55 PM Go to message in response to: PharmToxGirl

Pharm -

I know it's a lot different, in the north. My cousin moved to Scranton, PA, after she got married, and she was shocked to discover that the bride & groom, almost always, provide all the alcohol. It's just not traditional, down here. In the same sense, however, the formal receptions where 4-course meals are served aren't big here, either. Sure you'll run into the occasional wedding that is "out of the norm", but the reception usually consists of finger foods and stations.

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PharmToxGirl Posts : 5,446 Registered: 8/30/07
Re: As a wedding guest I hate....
Posted: Feb 7, 2010 3:14 PM Go to message in response to: April2010Bride

April - Yeah. I've rarely been to a 4 course meal reception - but a sit down dinner yeah. But down here - in VA and further South I've been to weddings with next to no food. Usually just punch and cake.

Which is fine - I don't mind that. But the one wedding was over the time of dinner, that was annoying on the timing of everything.

 

 

 

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briony Posts : 75 Registered: 2/9/09
Re: As a wedding guest I hate....
Posted: Feb 8, 2010 1:31 PM Go to message in response to: MrsS2010

1. Your timing stinks-Huge time gaps between the ceremony and the reception are a PITA


Agree. I expect to wait an hour or so while the couple takes pictures, but any longer than that and it's a PITA. If I'm dressed up for a wedding, I don't want to go out and "explore the town" (or whatever) while the newlyweds visit 12 different sites for photos. I'll be right there with the posters who said they'd be getting tipsy at the hotel bar. I'm less likely to grumble (to myself) about a long break if it's because the couple's church won't allow evening ceremonies and they still want an evening reception... but still. It's annoying.

2. You picked a bad day-weddings held on holiday weekends or on a random weeknight are not good


Holiday weekends don't bother me; in fact, I prefer them, especially if I have to travel. But then, I don't have the longstanding annual holiday plans like some people do. A random weeknight would be fine for a local wedding, but I wouldn't take the time off work to travel unless I was really, really close to the bride or groom.

3. You're boring us-long speeches or toasts, too many "special dances"


Agree. My attention span will allow 2-3 brief toasts and three dances (bride/groom, father/bride, and mother/groom) before I start counting tiles on the ceiling.

4. Mediocre food or insufficient food


Mediocre food, if it's what they can afford, doesn't bother me. It would only bother me if the couple was intentionally cutting hospitality corners. Ordinarily I think that how a couple chooses to allocate their wedding budget is their own business, but I'm not going to lie. If you're wearing the $8,000 Kenneth Pool ball gown and serving your guests chips and dip, I'm going to roll my eyes a little.


Insufficient food is bad. If you're not going to serve a meal, that's fine, but please schedule your reception for an off-meal time.

5. You're makings us pay?-the hated "cash bar"


Agree. Though I enjoy a glass of wine or three at a wedding, I'd rather see NO alcohol than a cash bar. Seriously, host the party you can afford and just skip whatever's not in your budget. Guests should not be expected to open their wallets at a hosted event.

6. You sat us here!-insufficient rooms between tables-outdoor weddings using port a potties and spending time swatting bugs, indoor weddings in summer in locations with no air conditioning and cocktail hours with no place to sit.


All annoying, but I can deal.

7. You don't invite a "Plus 1" -Allow us to bring a guest if at all possible


Disagree that it's necessary. It's nice if the couple has room in their budgets (and in their venue) to give every single guest a +1, but if they can't, no biggie. As for dating couples, I can understand why hosts would opt for "no ring, no bring" instead of getting into the business of evaluating the "seriousness" of the relationships between their not-formally-committed friends. Even though the rule can operate harshly.

8. You put us to work-We don't want to man the guest book or babysit the flower girl


I'd decline if asked to take on one of these roles, but I don't think there's anything wrong with asking.

9. You don't say thank you-Couples who spend all their time with hanging out with their wedding party and do not bother to go around and speak with and thank their guests for coming.


Agree. You don't need a formal receiving line, but every effort should me made to circulate the room and greet everyone. And yes, send a Thank You note!


1. You don't have a vegetarian entree. No, feeding me green beans, rolls, and salad isn't enough. I'm bringing you a present so feed me. It's not that hard to throw some pasta in a pot and put Ragu on top, I ain't looking for anything fancy here. It will save you money too.


Agree that a vegetarian entree should be provided. Beyond that, I think it's unreasonable to expect the hosts to cater to everyone's food issues. Picky eaters should grab something to eat beforehand if they're worried that what's on offer won't be to their liking.

2. Winter weddings. I know you think the snow is romantic and pretty but I think driving a far ways in a blizzard sucks. Totally sucks.


Never had to do this, but yeah, that would suck.

I'm totally going to get flamed for this one:
3. If we're coming from out-of-town, let me bring my kids or at least have a babysitter. I don't know anyone in your area and day care centers aren't open on Saturday nights till midnight. (I don't have kids yet, but we decided together that this would completely piss us off if it happened.)


Ordinarily I have no problem with child-free weddings, but I agree that having a destination wedding (or a local wedding that nonetheless requires lots of your invited guests to travel) changes things a bit. Kids should be accommodated, or the couple should expect lots of declines from parents coming from OOT.

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NJ4Life Posts : 3,358 Registered: 8/10/07
Re: As a wedding guest I hate....
Posted: Feb 8, 2010 1:49 PM Go to message in response to: HappyGirl13

1. Huge time gaps between the ceremony and the reception are a PITA.
I really have no opinion on this as in my area its extremely common to have a couple hours in between. We just find a bar or hang in the hotel room, if we have one.

2. You picked a bad day-weddings held on holiday weekends or on a random weeknight are not good.
This depends on the friend and the holiday. We had a wedding on Thanksgiving weekend that was fairly annoying b/c we were busy Thur & Fri with family, then we had to spend the next day at a wedding and it was COLD! But they are good friends so that balanced it all out.

3. You're boring us-long speeches or toasts, too many "special dances".
YES!! BORING. I went to a wedding last summer where every person in the 6 member WP made a speech. It was a total snooze and boring for everyone else but the B&G (who won't even remember what they said anyway!)

4. Mediocre food or insufficient food
Well I wouldnt go mediocre food as much as cold food. That bothers me. It's a wedding, if you are expecting a gourmet meal, then yea, it will be mediocre to you.

5. You're makings us pay?-the hated "cash bar"
I don't believe I have ever been to one, however I would just like to know it advance. I am That Girl who never has $ on me...EVER. Right now I have $3 in my wallet and it's been sitting in there for probably 10 days.

6. You sat us here!-insufficient rooms between tables-outdoor weddings using port a potties and spending time swatting bugs, indoor weddings in summer in locations with no air conditioning and cocktail hours with no place to sit.
One outdoor wedding I was at was under a tent on a HOT day, but they had a lot of fans going and the sun went down and it was fine. But yea, if there were not enough tables that would piss me off royally.

7. You don't invite a "Plus 1" -Allow us to bring a guest if at all possible
I didn't go to many weddings before I was seriously dating DH and/or engaged. Howver I went to 2 weddings this past summer sans DH since it was work friends. And it was fun. I think it depends on the situation, but if I was seriously dating someone and he wasn't invited (and the couple knew we were dating) I might find it odd...not enough to say something to them though.

8. You put us to work-We don't want to man the guest book or babysit the flower girl
Eh, once the bride barked at me to find her sister (and I Was a guest not a BM) but she apologized when she got back from her honeymoon. LOL

9. You don't say thank you-Couples who spend all their time with hanging out with their wedding party and do not bother to go around and speak with and thank their guests for coming.
I understand if the B&G are really busy and don't come around, thats fine. Sometimes when you are friends of the B&G they may not feel like they need to personally come up to you to say "thanks for coming" but instead we just party it up on the dancefloor. If I dont get a thank you note then that is RUDE RUDE RUDE. We went to a wedding in Sept 07 and we didnt get the thank you til Aug 08. Ok I know it was under a year, but it wasn't a huge wedding.

I want to add
10. Waiting a long time from sitting down in the reception to being served dinner. I hate getting into the room and waiting an hour or more to actually eat. I wann eat and get to the partying!

Someone said crappy cake and I agree with that. I've been known to salivate over the cake after the moment I see it...then when it's hard or stale or a nasty flavor it's upsetting. Also, please do not put bananas in your cake. I think that's probably the only fruit that people can really be put off by (me!)..keep the flavors general and simple!


New Jersey: We have dumps, bays and cement boots and we know how to use 'em

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BriansAzBride Posts : 326 Registered: 12/5/08
Re: As a wedding guest I hate....
Posted: Feb 8, 2010 4:07 PM Go to message in response to: NJ4Life

1. Your timing stinks-Huge time gaps between the ceremony and the reception are a PITA


Totally agree. I understand the 1 hour gap. It's called a cocktail hour. But the second I see the clock move past an hour I get cranky like an old man!

2. You picked a bad day-weddings held on holiday weekends or on a random weeknight are not good


Yeah I guess I agree. As long as I didn't have anything too important going on I'd go for a close friend or family but anyone else... No thanks.

3. You're boring us-long speeches or toasts, too many "special dances"


I'm torn. I understand lots of dances and everyone and their mother want to toast but if it's longer than a minute I get VERY bored.

4. Mediocre food or insufficient food


Mediocre food doesn't really bother me. At least it's food. But not having enough food, now thats an issue.

5. You're makings us pay?-the hated "cash bar"


Can't disagree or agree. I haven't been to a wedding in a while so I can't remember if they had one or not. I'm a fan of the all or nothing rule though. At our wedding we are having no alcohol except for a champagne/cider toast.

6. You sat us here!-insufficient rooms between tables-outdoor weddings using port a potties and spending time swatting bugs, indoor weddings in summer in locations with no air conditioning and cocktail hours with no place to sit.


I can deal with the heat, bugs, and not enough room to squeeze between the seats but if there aren't enough seats I may walk around with my chair so someone doesn't steal it.

7. You don't invite a "Plus 1" -Allow us to bring a guest if at all possible


100% disagree.

8. You put us to work-We don't want to man the guest book or babysit the flower girl


Yeah I'd be slightly annoyed.

9. You don't say thank you-Couples who spend all their time with hanging out with their wedding party and do not bother to go around and speak with and thank their guests for coming.


You have to see all the guests. No question about it.


1. You don't have a vegetarian entree. No, feeding me green beans, rolls, and salad isn't enough. I'm bringing you a present so feed me. It's not that hard to throw some pasta in a pot and put Ragu on top, I ain't looking for anything fancy here. It will save you money too.


I completely agree. We are having chicken parmesan. With that though we are having a pasta dish with garlic and oil. It's really not hard to at least have some dish they can eat!

2. Winter weddings. I know you think the snow is romantic and pretty but I think driving a far ways in a blizzard sucks. Totally sucks.


I live in AZ so I have NO experience with this :)

3. If we're coming from out-of-town, let me bring my kids or at least have a babysitter. I don't know anyone in your area and day care centers aren't open on Saturday nights till midnight. (I don't have kids yet, but we decided together that this would completely piss us off if it happened.)


I'm not really sure. I have no experience with this and we don't have any OOT guests or anyone with children.


With the garter retrieval, I don't mind as long as it's a quick grab but if he's up there longer than 20 seconds it gets awkward for me to watch.


 

 

 

 I feel like a kid. Pinch me. This kind of love certainly can't be real. Oh wait, it is :)

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kellyheartsjeff Posts : 66 Registered: 2/25/09
Re: As a wedding guest I hate....
Posted: Feb 8, 2010 4:59 PM Go to message in response to: MrsS2010

I agree with most of the things on the list, the one I am actually worried about for my own wedding is the time gap. The church we are being married in is super popular as it is one of the only catholic churches in the area that does not require one of the engaged couple to be a member of the church. So we had to choose to either have a super early wedding at the time of year we wanted, choose a different time of year, or wait and have a really long engagement. We chose the really early wedding time... I am already stressed about the inconvenience to our guests, but so far everyone we have talked to say they are fine with it as it gives them a chance to get some sightseeing in (the church is downtown Chicago and we have a ton of out of town guests).

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MelMix Posts : 46 Registered: 7/16/09
Re: As a wedding guest I hate....
Posted: Feb 8, 2010 6:43 PM Go to message in response to: kellyheartsjeff

1. Your timing stinks-Huge time gaps between the ceremony and the reception are a PITA


I agree. We're doing a cocktail hour in between...and it is, just an hour.

2. You picked a bad day-weddings held on holiday weekends or on a random weeknight are not good


Well, guests can choose whether or not to come. The couple may have a special day that happens to fall around a holiday, or maybe they want to do a special "wedding weekend."

3. You're boring us-long speeches or toasts, too many "special dances"


I think balance is the key here. We're having music during the cocktail hour, then dinner, toasts towards the end of dinner, then we cut the cake. As guests eat cake, a friend of mine is providing live entertainment. As everyone is digesting cake/dinner, then we're doing the special dances. I think breaking things up a bit helps the monotony.

4. Mediocre food or insufficient food


Insufficient food is a pet peeve for me. It's important to make it clear if the reception includes a dinner, or appetizers. There's nothing worse than deciding not to eat much for the day and then realize that all you are getting is cake, mints, and punch.

5. You're making us pay?-the hated "cash bar"


We decided on a compromise. We're providing beer, a signature drink, and soda/coffee/water. If the guest wants anything special, it is up to them to pay. The worst I experienced as a guest is that there was ONLY beer, ice tea (which I hate), and coffee. I couldn't believe there was no soft drinks available..not even for purchase!


6. You sat us here!-insufficient rooms between tables-outdoor weddings using port a potties and spending time swatting bugs, indoor weddings in summer in locations with no air conditioning and cocktail hours with no place to sit.


People should neither feel cramped or so spaced out it's hard to hold a conversation with someone. Cozy, but not cramped, creates an intimate feeling. Guests should feel comfortable (warm/cool), depending on the venue.

7. You don't invite a "Plus 1" -Allow us to bring a guest if at all possible


I was careful enough to invite single people the option of bringing a guest within the amount of guests we could have. This way, there are no last minute surprises.

8. You put us to work-We don't want to man the guest book or babysit the flower girl


YES. I agree. Talk to people ahead of time, no one likes a surprise duty. Be considerate of your bridal party too..don't just assume they are able or willing to do all your bidding. When my dad got remarried, they did not communicate their expectations to their M&M of Ceremonies...and they sat on their butts the entire time. I ended up being the "point person" by default, from communicating with the photographer, making sure cake was served, to serving champagne to guests, to being the last one there to clean up. I hardly got to eat any dinner and had no cake. I did it because I love my dad, but I was quite annoyed with the situation.

9. You don't say thank you-Couples who spend all their time with hanging out with their wedding party and do not bother to go around and speak with and thank their guests for coming.


You have to see all the guests. No question about it.


1. You don't have a vegetarian entree. No, feeding me green beans, rolls, and salad isn't enough. I'm bringing you a present so feed me. It's not that hard to throw some pasta in a pot and put Ragu on top, I ain't looking for anything fancy here. It will save you money too.


Here's my thought about food. We're ordering food that we like, and I think our guests will enjoy. When we go to people's homes for dinner, we do not tell them "we don't eat this and that" UNLESS there was a real food allergy. I was taught to have a polite portion, and if it really is an issue, then don't eat it!

2. Winter weddings. I know you think the snow is romantic and pretty but I think driving a far ways in a blizzard sucks. Totally sucks.


As someone who is in Michigan and is getting married in 11 days, yes, there is a chance of bad weather. But our date is strictly to hold down huge rental costs. We could not have the wedding we have planned if it was in May. If people can make it, we're thrilled to see them. If the weather is too bad, then we are still getting married.

3. If we're coming from out-of-town, let me bring my kids or at least have a babysitter. I don't know anyone in your area and day care centers aren't open on Saturday nights till midnight. (I don't have kids yet, but we decided together that this would completely piss us off if it happened.)


Again, this is a guest choice. I am assuming that if given proper notice (at least 8 weeks ahead of time), there is sufficient time to have Grandma/Aunt Joyce/a neighbor come by and watch the kids. This is especially important with toddlers...I don't think the parents can have a great time if the child is shrieking/throwing tantrums/trying to rip apart presents. It's not up to the B&G to provide a babysitter.

Dollar Dances: Now, I know there is talk that it is tacky, but it is almost expected to have one in Michigan! I think the area of where one lives dictates some of the traditions. We're doing the dance because the guests around here seem to expect and like it! Candy and shots of liquor are offered as a thank you for participating. But I do not expect someone to do it.

As much is is important to be good to the guests, guests need to be gracious too. :)


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WoostaBride Posts : 220 Registered: 6/8/09
Re: As a wedding guest I hate....
Posted: Feb 8, 2010 8:00 PM Go to message in response to: BirdLover

Bird,

I wasn't having a bad day at all....and the comment I made about vegetarians was kind of in a joking manner, not meant to offend or desrespect those individuals. I won't say that there wasn't any truth in it, however. I don't have any more sympathy for vegetarians than they have for me! It is a choice that they make, and they have to realize that the rest of the world may not accomodate that choice. I love meat, but if I were to go to an all vegan wedding I wouldn't expect them to pull out the prime rib for me....I'd just make do with what was provided, be thankful for that and move on. And again, I'm not saying that I don't give a crap about these people because they are a +1, but I don't know them, didn't formally invite them, and yes to me that makes the whole vegetarian accomadation thing a little harder to swallow. Here's the thing....I have put a TON of extra focus on my guests and making sure that EVERYTHING they could want or need is provided for them, so this is just one little thing that I started stressing over and now realize I just need to relax. I will try my hardest to accomodate their dietary needs, and if that means them having one or two less choices in stations, then so be it! I'm having a damn after party at a casino following the reception with ANOTHER whole food settup, so they can stuff their faces there if they're still hungry!! Or maybe their relationships will break up before the wedding and I won't have to worry about this at all :) JUST joking...

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auntofthebride Posts : 9,354 Registered: 4/2/06
Re: As a wedding guest I hate....
Posted: Feb 8, 2010 8:08 PM Go to message in response to: kellyheartsjeff

Dear Kelly,

Would it be possible to move up the time of the reception? Lunchtime? Mid-afternoon?

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BirdLover Posts : 2,834 Registered: 3/30/06
Re: As a wedding guest I hate....
Posted: Feb 9, 2010 1:00 AM Go to message in response to: WoostaBride

Woosta,

"I love meat, but if I were to go to an all vegan wedding I wouldn't expect them to pull out the prime rib for me"

I'm not sure if this is the best comparison (since most people who eat meat aren't morally opposed to eating non-meat dishes...notice I say most, hee hee), but you know what? I think I actually MIGHT find it weird if a vegan couple only offered vegan dishes...hmm....something to think about...

Lilypie 1st Birthday Ticker

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MrsS2010 Posts : 336 Registered: 5/25/09
Re: As a wedding guest I hate....
Posted: Feb 9, 2010 1:44 AM Go to message in response to: BirdLover

LOL at Brianz walking around and tugging her chair with her so no body steals it :)

Ditto on the raunchy garter toss.

Im with you Woosta for not letting yourself stress over the two +1s. Not saying you shouldnt accomodate them but I dont think theres much stress in just letting the caterer know that you need two vegetarian dishes and then just forget all about it and check it off your list :) Now if I would get a "do not like" list of foods on my rsvp's Id just laugh and put that to the side. Thats just silly. They can bring their own food in that case lol.

Kelly - I can honestly tell you if I was coming to your wedding Id not only "not mind" the gap but Id welcome it!! - only because its in downtown chicago though :) I absolutely love that place and defenitely think theres enough to keep you occupied and happy about it - or at least not make you grumpy..but I guess it does matter just how much of a gap were talking about here.

How do you ladies feel about couples doing registries and sending the registry info in with the invites/not making a registry and passing it on through the grapevine that they want only monetary gifts?

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delmarplatinumb... Posts : 33 Registered: 5/29/09
Re: As a wedding guest I hate....
Posted: Feb 9, 2010 6:29 AM Go to message in response to: MrsS2010

[b]1. Huge time gaps between the ceremony and the reception are a PITA.[/b]
This is a huge hassle. The only acceptable gap is an hour and that is called the cocktail hour where there are drinks and some hors d'oeuvres. Other than that you are wasting my entire day, esp. if I have traveled. I dont want to go around the city exploring when Im in dress up clothing and I do not want to go to a bar and drink for hours while waiting for dinner.

[b]2. You picked a bad day-weddings held on holiday weekends or on a random weeknight are not good.[/b]
I prefer holiday weekends like Labor Day or Memorial Day because if I am traveling I have an extra day to recover shall we say. Now for major holidays like Thanksgiving, Christmas, New Years that is strictly for family and super super close BFF types. I went to a wedding where it was the day before Mothers Day and I was fine with that. Mothers Day comes every year and their wedding is only happening once...you hope.

[b]3. You're boring us-long speeches or toasts, too many "special dances".[/b]
I dont mind the long speeches or special dances if I have my dinner in front of me. If they are prolonging dinner for after the speeches and dances, then Im pissed because I am probably starving at the time

[b]4. Mediocre food or insufficient food[/b]
Mediocre food--this is up to interpretation. Not all 4 course meals I had at weddings are fantastic and just because its a backyard BBQ doesnt mean it wont be finger licking good. And maybe its all they can afford. Insufficient food--now this is bad. I hate it when people invite me for a dinner time reception and they dont serve dinner! Hello, you are inviting someone at a time they would be eating dinner, so at least provide a dinner type of meal. Deli platters are fine for lunch receptions, but not ok for dinner receptions. Sorry, but most dont just eat a deli sandwich for dinner. And if it is all you can have, please inform your guests there will only be sandwiches for dinner. I went to a 6pm Sat. evening reception where there was only light appetizers. Just cheese and crackers and finger sandwiches..and they didnt let anyone know before hand so people were starving as some save themselves for the wedding.

[b]5. You're makings us pay?-the hated "cash bar"[/b]
This just bothers me as I dont carry cash when heading to a wedding. But I understand not everyone can provide alcohol at their wedding as it is very expensive. I wish they would say so if there is going to be a cash bar, that way people can come prepared with money if they want to drink alcohol. I also think they should say something if it is going to be a dry wedding.

[b]6. You sat us here!-insufficient rooms between tables-outdoor weddings using port a potties and spending time swatting bugs, indoor weddings in summer in locations with no air conditioning and cocktail hours with no place to sit.[/b]
Cocktail hour is fine with no seating as that is mostly stand and mingle with everyone time. It is only for an hour anyways. But what I hate is no seats at a reception! As stated earlier the 6pm Sat even reception with only cheese/crackers and sandwiches had no seats either, it was standing room only except for the old folks. I dont mind porta potties as you are outside, some parks may only have that. Ditto for no AC, some places just dont have it.

[b]7. You don't invite a "Plus 1" -Allow us to bring a guest if at all possible[/b]
This I understand as not everyone has the budget to invite everyone.

[b]8. You put us to work-We don't want to man the guest book or babysit the flower girl[/b]
You can always say no.

[b]9. You don't say thank you-Couples who spend all their time with hanging out with their wedding party and do not bother to go around and speak with and thank their guests for coming.[/b]
I dont mind this too much depending on wedding size. If it is under 100 yes I think its rude, but for over 300 it may be hard. I want the BG to enjoy their wedding too, so they need to eat and drink and dance. Altho as a guest I have made it a point to come up to the BG to say hi, even for a moment. I know they are busy and have a lot on their minds that day.

[b]10. The vegetarian thing...[/b]
Maybe its just been my experience with them, but I find them highly annoying. I was the party planner at my last job and there was 1 vegetarian in the company and he was loud about it. Everytime there as a party, I made sure to include one item on the menu that was a vegetarian dish. I even had the caterer/restaurant put it in the menu so he would not feel left out. So eventho I was taking away an entree choice for everyone else, I thought I was making him happy. NO...he bitched at me that there is always only 1 vegetarian choice. Sorry but when 99% of the other guests dont have food restrictions and you do, we are all not going to cater to you.
Again just my experience with the special diets people, they seem to think that everything has to revolve around their eating habits. In dealing with planning parties, I always make sure there is one vegetarian option. However, you will not have a large selection. Im sorry but I can not cater to everyones dietetic needs. You know you arent the majority, so either eat a bit before the event or bring your own food and say I have special dietary needs.

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CatStandish Posts : 2,766 Registered: 6/20/08
Re: As a wedding guest I hate....
Posted: Feb 9, 2010 8:18 AM Go to message in response to: delmarplatinumb...

I am going to defend the damnable deli platters for dinner time reception, because I am sick and tired of snooty people thinking that they are unacceptable suppertime fare.

Guess what...I invited you to a wedding. I provided you with plenty of food. Its a sandwich, and there is plenty of it. So what if it is not a hot dinner. Big deal. I didn't put out bologna and american cheese and wonderbread. I put out fancy rolls, roast beef, turkey and ham. The cheeses were higher end too.

And why might someone do that?

Because there are people in the wedding party who are vegetarians, who are diabetic. there are close friends attending who have other dietary restrictions, and I cannot afford a hot dish to accomodate all of this.

As a bride, I had always wanted an evening wedding. I wanted to have the dance. And so what if I could not afford to have it catered? My wedding was within budget. I provided ample food for you to eat ... and even planned on guests eating up to four sandwiches in my purchasing....so there was plenty and you were not going to starve.

I am tired of hearing "sandwhiches are for 2 pm receptions".

Where I am from, no matter what time the wedding ... unless the budget is $30,000, you get cheese straws, nuts and cake. If it is $30,000 or higher, the reception is at a club. I've never been to one of those higher budget weddings here...and every wedding I have been to (again, no matter what time it is) is cheese straws, nuts and cake (maybe chicken fingers).

The deli platters are not the demon spawn of wedding food. Maybe they are not filet mignon...but you got plenty to eat, so shut up about the sandwiches at supper time.

And yeah, I am sick and tired of hearing people say "if you are only providing sandwich fare, then have an afternoon wedding." We're providing food that fits the budget...sometimes the budget gets altered after things get started.

Did I start out with deli platters? No. I didn't want them...but after we found out all the dietary RESTRICTIONS (not pickiness) of our guests, we figured this was the best option. We could not afford the caterer (or we could have, but our guests would have had insufficient food)

And don't say "cut the number of guests" We pared down our list to painful levels, we cut a lot of people we didn't want to cut. Cutting more was not an option.

As long as the bride and groom provide you a meal type dish (regardless of whether it is filet mignon or a roast beef sandwhich), they HAVE provided you with a meal.

Cucumber sandwhiches and little tea cakes, those I can see being annoying. But when you can construct a hearty sandwhich, regardless of the time of day, that is a meal. Get over it!

Misty

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MrsS2010 Posts : 336 Registered: 5/25/09
Re: As a wedding guest I hate....
Posted: Feb 9, 2010 9:43 AM Go to message in response to: CatStandish

Hey you did what you could right? and I think people are mainly talking about getting those little mini finger sandwiches and things like that when they talk about a wedding taht should be in the afternoon. I have been to some none catered weddings and was as full as I can get from them. But a wedding that pops into my head is one I went to a while back at the Ritz Carlton. We'll let me tell you - first we waited for a good hour if not more(read: MORE) for the food to come out, then get through a 5 course meal that probably cost them a fortune, and I left with a few of my girlfriends early to run to the nearest McDonalds because we were so hungry!! Im sorry if some people see "a lot of food" to be "less elegant" or something but I'd rather be fed well than have "pretty food"

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