So I got this from the knot and Im sure some of you have seen it but I thought it was interesting and decided to post it here for discussion! What do you ladies think - do you agree with what they have on here? Do you have something to add that they missed? Its good to keep this stuff in the back on our minds as brides!



1. Your timing stinks-Huge time gaps between the ceremony and the reception are a PITA

2. You picked a bad day-weddings held on holiday weekends or on a random weeknight are not good

3. You're boring us-long speeches or toasts, too many "special dances"

4. Mediocre food or insufficient food

5. You're makings us pay?-the hated "cash bar"

6. You sat us here!-insufficient rooms between tables-outdoor weddings using port a potties and spending time swatting bugs, indoor weddings in summer in locations with no air conditioning and cocktail hours with no place to sit.

7. You don't invite a "Plus 1" -Allow us to bring a guest if at all possible

8. You put us to work-We don't want to man the guest book or babysit the flower girl

9. You don't say thank you-Couples who spend all their time with hanging out with their wedding party and do not bother to go around and speak with and thank their guests for coming.

1. I agree - have enough time for pictures, and that's it. It's good if you offer a cocktail hour in this time so the guests have something to do.

2. I disagree on the holiday weekend thing. Depending on which one it is, long weekends provide an extra travel day which may make it possible for some people to come who otherwise wouldn't be able to.

3. No real opinion

4. Insufficient food, unless noted on the invitation ("dessert reception", for example) is not good.

5. Agree

6. Agree

7. disagree depending on the circumstances

8/9. Agree


I also agree with the vegetarian thing, or if you know that other guests have dietary restrictions. Withint reason, you should try to have your caterer accomodate as many people as possible.

Regarding the "too much time in between" thing - Im russian and majority of the people that I know very well and attend weddings of are russian as well (coincidence - nothing against americans, Im a citizen too!lol) and just about every single wedding we do (one or two per weekend during wedding season!!) the B&G + WP all get up super early in the morning, get ready, and go take all their pics before the ceremony even starts. Ceremony is typically at 12 or 1 in the afternoon and reception always follows immediately after. Everybody goes straight there. No pics in between!

I actually considered doing it "the american way" but decided it wasnt worth the amount of complaints Id probably have to deal with for that one!! We plan to take even more pics (with just me and hubby) afterwards since reception isnt going to go till midnight.

1. Your timing stinks-Huge time gaps between the ceremony and the reception are a PITA

Agree - This is my #1 wedding pet peeve. I understand that the couple needs to take photos - but either do so beforehand or do so during the cocktail hour. That's why we have cocktail hours - so that the guests are occupied before the bride and groom arrive. I absolutely hate it when the ceremony is at, say 1:00 and the reception doesn't start until 6. What am I supposed to do in the meantime in my nice clothes? I usually end up at the hotel bar - and either drunk or sleepy before the reception starts.

2. You picked a bad day-weddings held on holiday weekends or on a random weeknight are not good

In general, I don't care whether a wedding is on a holiday weekend, as it normally gives me an extra travel day, which is good. I'm less likely to be able to attend a holiday weekend wedding than I am a wedding on a normal weekend, however, as I have annual plans on many holiday weekends.

Random weeknights = bad.

3. You're boring us-long speeches or toasts, too many "special dances"

Yes, I agree with this. I understand why they mean something to the couple, but as a guest, I get super-bored. I'll sit attentively through two speeches and two special dances, but after that, DH and I start playing hangman on a cocktail napkin.

4. Mediocre food or insufficient food

Insufficient food = bad.

Mediocre food doesn't bother me too much. Every single wedding can't possibly have the best food I've ever tasted. As long as it's edible and there's enough of it, I'm happy.

I will, however, remember bad food at a wedding and probably complain about it among my close friends and family.

5. You're makings us pay?-the hated "cash bar"

Totally tacky. I've only been to one wedding with a cash bar, though my parents see it more often, as they seem to be somewhat acceptable in New England, and my folks go to more weddings there than I do. Anyway, not only is it tacky, but it's super-annoying, as I never carry cash and there's generally not an ATM at the venue.

I don't care about a full bar and I don't care how long the bar is open. As long as some sort of beverage is offered to the guests (paid for by the host), I'm happy. I've never been to a wedding that didn't serve alcohol, so I don't know how I'd feel about that. It would be strange to me, as I go to a wedding expecting to at least have a glass of wine or champagne.

6. You sat us here!-insufficient rooms between tables-outdoor weddings
using port a potties and spending time swatting bugs, indoor weddings
in summer in locations with no air conditioning and cocktail hours with
no place to sit.

This stuff is annoying, but it's not at the top of my list of wedding pet peeves. I can deal with it all, though outdoor weddings on an incredibly hot and humid day tend to bother me, as I get really uncomfortable in the heat and my hair goes crazy in humidity.

7. You don't invite a "Plus 1" -Allow us to bring a guest if at all possible

This is a non-issue, as I've never been invited to a wedding without DH, whether we were married, engaged, or dating. If I were single (as in not dating anyone), I'd be a little uncomfortable attending a wedding alone, but I'd be Ok with it if I knew other people there. If I didn't know other people, I'd decline (and I am an outgoing person, so I'm sure many people would think, 'Art will find plenty of people to talk to'. That's true - I would, but I don't want to. I spend a lot of my time mingling with strangers, so if I was attending a wedding, I'd rather not). If I was in a relationship (dating) and the host used the No Ring, No Bring and invited me alone, I'd decline and probably let the friendship die.

8. You put us to work-We don't want to man the guest book or babysit the flower girl

I agree with the sentiment - I'd rather not have a 'special job' like these at a wedding. However, the couple generally asks people to do these 'special jobs' in advance - and you can say no. If I was asked to do one of these jobs, I'd thank the bride for thinking of me, but tell her that I'd prefer to just attend as a normal guest.

9. You don't say thank you-Couples who spend all their time with
hanging out with their wedding party and do not bother to go around and
speak with and thank their guests for coming.

Ok, we didn't do the traditional 'bride and groom travel to every table' thing, but one or both of us spoke to every guest at our reception at least once. We mingled in our own style.

Honestly, I don't particularly care if I don't get to speak to the couple. I know how busy they are, and I generally assume that they have more important people to speak with than me. I just like to see them have a good time. If they do so without chatting with me, that's Ok with me.

Vice President and Guardian of the Toilet Brush of POOP: People Offended by Offended People

10. Raunchy garter spectacles. I hate, hate, hate when the groom dives head first under the bride's dress and rummages around for an eternity while she squeals maniacally in front of Grandma and Aunt Matilda. It's not cute; it's just awkward and uncomfortable.

11. Bouquet tosses, especially when there are very few single women or when a single woman doesn't want to participate and gets badgered to go out there.

12. No seating chart at a sit-down reception. I've been to weddings where families couldn't find enough seats together or couples who didn't know anybody sat by themselves while the newlyweds' college friends pulled chairs away from empty tables so they could all cram together.

13. Bad cake. I don't care what it looks like, but if it's not yummy, it's a huge disappointment.

14. Music so loud you have to shout to have a conversation with the person seated next to you.

15. Dollar dance. Tacky squared.

1. Huge time gaps between the ceremony and the reception are a PITA.
I wouldn't mind if there's a cocktail hour going on during the gap.

2. You picked a bad day-weddings held on holiday weekends or on a random weeknight are not good.
Meh--it depends. If it's a good friend or close family member, I don't mind at all. In fact, I'd rather have a 3-day than a 2-day weekend to hang out with them. It's fun. Weeknight: That's only happened to me once, and it was a really good friend, so my happiness at being invited outweighed the annoyance.

3. You're boring us-long speeches or toasts, too many "special dances".
Long speeches, or too many of them, are boring ANYtime. Put a limit on the number of people you want to give toasts.

4. Mediocre food or insufficient food
Mediocre food--hey, if it's what you can afford, I'll deal with it. Insufficient food--never experienced it, but that would suck. And to jump on Amy's veggie bandwagon--just b/c I'm a veggie doesn't mean I want salad and side veggies for dinner. Yeah, gimme a pasta bar or something! And BTW a lot of us eat cheese!

5. You're makings us pay?-the hated "cash bar"
Never been to a wedding w/ a cash bar. Not sure I care even though we didn't host a wedding with a cash bar (and wouldn't have thought to).

6. You sat us here!-insufficient rooms between tables-outdoor weddings using port a potties and spending time swatting bugs, indoor weddings in summer in locations with no air conditioning and cocktail hours with no place to sit.
Always annoying being uncomfortable. Ditto for weddings with not enough places to sit.

7. You don't invite a "Plus 1" -Allow us to bring a guest if at all possible
As a single guest, I hated going to weddings as a singleton, but I understand budget constraints. Can't fault hosts for not allowing me a +1.

8. You put us to work-We don't want to man the guest book or babysit the flower girl
Never had this happen. Yeah, would be annoying.

9. You don't say thank you-Couples who spend all their time with hanging out with their wedding party and do not bother to go around and speak with and thank their guests for coming.
Yes, would also be annoying. But again, never experienced it. I guess I know a lot of nice people :). Agree with Myra, though--not receiving a thank-you note would be even more annoying. Some weddings are big enough that it's hard to get around to everybody (I know we didn't hit everyone at our wedding, even though we tried). But no excuse for not sending a thank you note.

I have to chime in on the vegetarian thing...
I am having my wedding in August in Rhode Island. We are having about 10 passed appetizers during cocktail hour (some which will be vegetarian) and a cheese selection. For dinner we are having a traditional New England lobster bake/surf and turf (we're adding a filet mignon station) that will be served as tendered stations. I have 1, POSSIBLY 2 vegetarians that are attending. I am attempting to substitute some of the seafood that is traditionally offered for something vegetarian friendly (e.g. pasta instead of steamers and mussels?). Unfortunately because this is mostly a non-plated dinner (soup and salad will be) I don't have the luxury of having 2 vegetarian dished prepared for them. I've honesly been plagued by this whole thing and after speaking with a few people about it I think I need to relax. I haven't met for a final food run-through, and I'm hoping that there will be some sort of compromise, but if not I can't change my entire meal plan for 2 people! I'm not really sure what else I can do about this....our food is one of our biggest splurges and we're offering PLENTY, so they are just going to have to make do with what we have. As a side-note, these 2 individuals are +1's (not engaged, early stages of relationships).

1. Your timing stinks-Huge time gaps between the ceremony and the reception are a PITA
Can be annoying if its a long time. Personally I don't want my FH to see before the ceremony most of the pictures will have to be taken after but we will do as many as possible before. Our reception is in the same location so the guests will have drinks and food while they wait.

2. You picked a bad day-weddings held on holiday weekends or on a random weeknight are not good

holiday weekends=just depends on the holiday, random weeknight= if in my town is fine but otherwise no.

3. You're boring us-long speeches or toasts, too many "special dances"

eh.

4. Mediocre food or insufficient food

I don't go to weddings to eat. I go to support the couple. So as long as there is something for me to munch on its great.

5. You're makings us pay?-the hated "cash bar"

I honestly have no problem with a cash bar. Alcohol cost SO much and some people really like to drink so if they want it, they can pay for it. Also cuts back on the stupid drunken people ruining the night. My reception will have Sangria and thats all. Thats what I can afford, if you want more go to bar later.

6. You sat us here!-insufficient rooms between tables-outdoor weddings using port a potties and spending time swatting bugs, indoor weddings in summer in locations with no air conditioning and cocktail hours with no place to sit.

of course this annoys everyone

7. You don't invite a "Plus 1" -Allow us to bring a guest if at all possible

disagree. big time. My guest list would be around 400 if I did this. With a budget of $5000 thats not possible.

8. You put us to work-We don't want to man the guest book or babysit the flower girl

Doesn't bother me. As long as I don't have to do it the entire time I'm honored to help out. Means the couple really trusts me.

9. You don't say thank you-Couples who spend all their time with hanging out with their wedding party and do not bother to go around and speak with and thank their guests for coming.

This would bother me somewhat but not so much.