First Dance Decisions

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OLY21 Posts : 1 Registered: 1/20/10
First Dance Decisions
Posted: Jan 20, 2010 12:08 PM

Just curious what everyone else is doing!
My fiance and I cannot seem to decide on what to do for the the first dance - should we just do the usual sway? Or should we invest some time and money to learn and do something different? The private lessons cost at least $400, but you the teacher gets to "hold your hand" through the whole thing. Or the DVD way - about $50, at the privacy of your home and on your own schedule?

What's your way?

Thanks for your input!


BriansAzBride Posts : 326 Registered: 12/5/08
Re: First Dance Decisions
Posted: Jan 20, 2010 12:28 PM Go to message in response to: OLY21

FH and I are personally just going to dance close. We did swing dance in high school so we might add some twirls and etc but nothing fancy. A lot of brides like to showcase some cool moves and I know a bride on here did a dance and the end was a neat kiss move. Just make sure your first dance is so complicated that you are busy counting steps instead of enjoying your first dance.




 I feel like a kid. Pinch me. This kind of love certainly can't be real. Oh wait, it is :)


FutureMrsBabler Posts : 104 Registered: 5/18/09
Re: First Dance Decisions
Posted: Jan 20, 2010 1:38 PM Go to message in response to: OLY21

FH and I were planning on taking dance classes, not just because it is for our wedding, but also because we like doing fun stuff like that! :) Anyway, after doing a little research, I thought the professional lessons were a little steep, considering the availability of DVDs on particular dances.

I ordered 'Dance Lessons 101 - The Basics and Beyond' and I HIGHLY recommend it! There is a total of around 10 different dances the intstructors go into, and then if you want to further your knowledge on a particular dance, you can order a full length DVD for it. For our lifestyle, it's more convenient than scheduling the lessons, and it's a fun thing to do on a Friday night - have dinner, open a bottle of wine, and practice dancing in the living room! :)

To answer your question, we are simply going to do a 'proper' slow dance, with a few spins, dips and whatnot. It isn't going to be choreographed or anything, that's why we are choosing to learn the steps, so it can look natural.

As for the father-daughter dance, we are having the band switch into 'Pride and Joy' by Stevie Ray Vaughan for a fun, upbeat, choreographed routine! :) Shh! Don't tell anyone - it's a surprise!

You know you're in love when you can't fall asleep because reality is finally better than your dreams. 

~Dr. Seuss


Stephy77 Posts : 109 Registered: 9/2/08
Re: First Dance Decisions
Posted: Jan 20, 2010 3:39 PM Go to message in response to: OLY21

My husband and I took lessons. We weren't planning it but my Husband got me a ballroom dance lesson for Valentines day when we were engaged and we loved it so much we continued and learned the proper way to dance to our wedding song. It was so much fun to learn something together and suprise everyone at the reception. I have to say for us it was a terrific experience.


ArtBride Posts : 4,838 Registered: 5/9/07
Re: First Dance Decisions
Posted: Jan 20, 2010 4:29 PM Go to message in response to: OLY21

We took dance lessons and they were the most useless way that I've wasted money in recent years.

I would love to be able to dance well, but 5 lessons for $400 (or something ridiculous like that - I just remember that it was expensive) just wasn't enough to teach me - and if I'm going to pay $400 for something, I'm pretty pissed if I don't get any results from it. I don't know what the problem was, as DH and I have danced (not fancy dancing, but dancing) many times before and since and never had any of the problems that we had during our lessons. I think it was the pressure of having spent several hundred dollars (that we'd rather spend on something else) on the lessons and knowing that we only had five lessons to get it right - and then as the lessons passed and we kept sucking, the pressure mounted and we messed up even more. It frustrated us to the point that we simply refused to talk about or practice the first dance.

And this was a company that specializes in wedding dances and 'guarantees' that they can teach you a first dance in ONE lesson. I figured we were playing it safe by signing up for five.

On the day of the wedding, we decided to skip the choreographed dance that we had tried to learn and we just 'winged it.' Oh yeah, and since we refused to discuss the dance issue at all, we made that decision literally in whispers on our way to the dance floor. Our dance ended up being so nice and relaxing rather than the stressful mess our lessons had been - and while we didn't do anything fancy, we really did look graceful.

Obviously, many people have better experiences with wedding dance lessons than I did, so if you want to do it, go for it. Just don't expect fantastic results. And learning might not be the fun and romantic experience that you envision it (we wanted to kill each other after each lesson). It might be great, but it might end up being a big waste of money. Wedding dance lessons certainly make my Top 10 List of Biggest Ways I've Wasted Money in Recent Years.

DaisypathWedding Ticker

Vice President and Guardian of the Toilet Brush of POOP: People Offended by Offended People


JerseyGirlVA Posts : 311 Registered: 9/17/09
Re: First Dance Decisions
Posted: Jan 21, 2010 12:32 PM Go to message in response to: OLY21

Unless you & your FH enjoy taking dance lessons or classes, I'd suggest just going with the flow of the music and holding one another close during your first dance.
You already have so much going on while planning the wedding, why add to it? And why spend the money on it? It also seems like an excessive 'over the top' thing to do in my opinion.


MrsCP3 Posts : 456 Registered: 4/21/08
Re: First Dance Decisions
Posted: Jan 21, 2010 3:40 PM Go to message in response to: OLY21

We honestly forgot to even think about practicing our first dance. So we winged it. It was still special, and I don't think anyone noticed or cared that it wasn't choreographed. So, unless you have a burning desire to take lessons, I'd save the time and money.





Lemoncakeface Posts : 33 Registered: 11/13/09
Re: First Dance Decisions
Posted: Jan 22, 2010 3:21 PM Go to message in response to: OLY21

My FH and I found a place in our downtown area that teaches lessons for a cover charge at a bar on friday nights. Its like 5 dollars a head and we learn salsa at our own pace. And then would practice at home.

I say find something inexpensive if you really need the help of a teacher (community centers and YMCA's often have fun short programs) (internet videos) and just practice at home with your man. Make it a fun experience like a game. We would make bets on our "dance dates." Who ever stepped on the most feet had to make the winner dinner or give them a backrub.

Let this be an opportunity to spend some stress relieving exercise and laughter with your fiance. The more you two enjoy the process the more fun your first dance will be and everyone will notice.

Dance to the music you plan to dance to at the wedding so when the time comes you will really feel the music. Just think about what that song will mean to you in a couple months.


FutureMrsGillum... Posts : 23 Registered: 1/24/09
Re: First Dance Decisions
Posted: Jan 23, 2010 6:49 PM Go to message in response to: OLY21

I used to teach the waltz for a dance studio, and to be honest when I taught lessons I thought that was the best idea. Now that I am the bride, I think that there is nothing better than putting the song you have chosen together on the stereo, pour a glass of wine, and practice holding each other close in the kitchen! We all have so much going as brides and so much stress coming from different angles. I think your first dance should be a something special to you, and shouldn't be about impressing everyone with your super smooth dance moves. It should be you and him looking into each others eyes, enjoying every moment. . . and that's it.


AmyJustin2010 Posts : 201 Registered: 1/18/10
Re: First Dance Decisions
Posted: Jan 24, 2010 4:46 PM Go to message in response to: OLY21

Personally, I couldn't fathom spending that much on dance lessons. I've heard of people spending 300 to 500 or more dollars on dance lessons. Unless it was something we had been wanting to do as a couple for awhile, I wouldn't spend it. For 50 bucks a head for the reception, I'd rather include 6-10 more guests, but that could just be me.

Like a PP said, your first dance is supposed to be a special time for you and your new husband. I think overly choreographed dances are too showy for me. You're there to celebrate your love, not put on a broadway show. Adding a dip or spin every once in awhile is one thing, but to do the entire dance choreographed is over the top IMO and just more pressure on you.

So we are just going to do the sway, and probably adding a dip at the end, but it won't be planned, more of a go with the flow kind of thing.



Amy & Justin--Buffalo Sabres Fanatics :) 

Edited by: AmyJustin2010 on Jan 24, 2010 4:47 PM


CatStandish Posts : 2,766 Registered: 6/20/08
Re: First Dance Decisions
Posted: Jan 24, 2010 6:12 PM Go to message in response to: AmyJustin2010

DH and I actually do go dancing a lot, and he loves to ballroom dance (he got me into it, truth be told). He's very good.

We had planned to do L.O.V.E. as half foxtrot and half swing. The version of the song has an accelerated bit in the middle where we were going to switch styles. We had rehearsed it like that.

And when it was time for the dance, DH threw all of that out the window and started with swing. While we were dancing, I asked him where the foxtrot went and he said he decided not to do it. ARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR <G> (And it's not like I can foxtrot without him)

But no one else knew he switched it up.



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