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radgirl Posts : 22 Registered: 1/11/10
Dresses
Posted: Jan 14, 2010 10:26 PM

Have any of you ladies started trying on dresses? If so, do you have a team of friends going with you or are you going alone? I ask because it sounds like I will be going alone. Thoughts?

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Nicnak Posts : 27 Registered: 12/26/09
Re: Dresses
Posted: Jan 15, 2010 8:19 AM Go to message in response to: radgirl

I haven't gone yet, but I def want people to go with me. I want to have my friends there so they can tell me what they think. I also want to have my mom and FMIN come when I have picked a couple that I like and have them help me pick my dress. It would be fun to have them apart of that. Its nice to make it a fun day with the girls too.

 Our beautiful daughter, Jaylynn!

 

wedding planning guide

new_york , dresses , september_2011
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Shoesiesluvr Posts : 43 Registered: 6/24/09
Re: Dresses
Posted: Jan 15, 2010 10:26 AM Go to message in response to: radgirl

When it came to go dress shopping I wasnt sure if I wanted to go solo or if i should bring people with; I really would have been okay with both. But at the end, my mom, sister and 2 friends that are in the wedding party, all went with me. . I really liked having them there just because of the extra opinions and they actually found a dress which ended up being one of my top contenders.

 
Daisypath Wedding tickers

mexican_caribbean , september_2010 , dresses
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BloggingBride1212 Posts : 25 Registered: 1/11/10
Re: Dresses
Posted: Jan 15, 2010 12:01 PM Go to message in response to: radgirl

I didn't bring any friends shopping with me but I did take my mom and my sister came to a couple of stores with me.

I think I would have been fine going by myself because the consultants are really helpful.

www.soulfulengagements.com

new_jersey , dresses
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MrsS2010 Posts : 336 Registered: 5/25/09
Re: Dresses
Posted: Jan 15, 2010 12:18 PM Go to message in response to: radgirl

I always had one or both of my bridesmaids with me when I went shopping. As helpful as the consultants might be in most places, these people know you and your style best and can actually be a big help in looking for stuff to at least try on when you're going through the store. Defenitely listen to what your gut tells you over what their opinions might be because there might be dresses they LOVE yet you wont feel like "you" in them! :) But it defenitely makes for a fun time with your girlies when they tag along! Good luck and enjoy dress shopping!! :)

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MegsandJ Posts : 23 Registered: 12/14/09
Re: Dresses
Posted: Jan 15, 2010 12:24 PM Go to message in response to: MrsS2010

Both times I went with my mom and my aunt. EVERYONE said they wanted to go and were all excited and vocal about the whole process but I just didnt want all those conflicting opinions. Im not easily swayed but still, I just wanted to find the right dress...the shopping was fun, but Im glad it was a small crowd.

september_2010 , nevada , dresses
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myra Posts : 5,555 Registered: 3/28/06
Re: Dresses
Posted: Jan 15, 2010 1:39 PM Go to message in response to: radgirl

Go with a couple of trusted people, but avoid going with a large party. Everyone has opinions (just watch a few episodes of "Say Yes to the Dress"!), but a large party just causes conflict and confusion. Take Mom if you have a good relationship (especially if she's paying!!), take a close friend whose taste you admire and who will be honest with you. You even can break tradition and take your FH (for who else would you rather look great?), but leave the entourage at home.
myra at www.classysassyweddings.com

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YoursTruly Posts : 5 Registered: 11/16/09
Re: Dresses
Posted: Jan 15, 2010 1:47 PM Go to message in response to: myra

I went with my mom and a few Bridesmaids! I actually only went to one store and ended up finding my dress!

Do you have a good relationship with your future mother-in-law? If so, I would say ask her to go so that you have a motherly figure and I am sure it would mean alot to her as well. Just a thought!


Edited by: YoursTruly on Jan 22, 2010 4:48 PM

september_2010 , central_west_texas , dresses
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FmF Posts : 106 Registered: 8/19/09
Re: Dresses
Posted: Jan 15, 2010 2:14 PM Go to message in response to: radgirl

dress shopping for me was just me and my mom for the most part, my sister and aunt went once

Future Mrs. Fransen

 "From every human being there rises a light that reaches straight to heaven. And when two souls that are destined to be together find each other, their streams of light flow together, and a single brighter light goes forth from their united being."
--Unknown

dresses , august_2010 , california
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radgirl Posts : 22 Registered: 1/11/10
Re: Dresses
Posted: Jan 15, 2010 10:36 PM Go to message in response to: FmF

Gosh, you all are so lucky to have had your mom, aunt, sister, etc.... go with you. I don't have any of that. Honestly, I'm alone in this. Heck, now I want to cry. I could ask a gf, but I don't want to waste anyone's time. I could possibly ask my FMIL, but I don't know yet. I never knew planning a wedding alone could be so depressing. The more I plan (or try to plan) the less I want a wedding. So much for smiling here.

colorado , dresses , august_2010 , california
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TanisJ Posts : 2,673 Registered: 4/25/07
Re: Dresses
Posted: Jan 16, 2010 6:01 PM Go to message in response to: radgirl

Radgirl I kept this thread open all day to make sure I got a chance to reply to you. While most ladies do go with relatives and friends and have a good time, not everyone does and some of us who did that don't have a sunshine story to tell. lol.

When I went dress shopping I invited my mom, who came in front out of town, my biological sister and my 17 year old little sister (through Big Sisters mentoring program). The appointment was cancelled twice, mainly becuase of whatever was going on in my sisters life. She is one of those people who's life is always chaos and everything becomes a big drama. I was 38 at the time and my sister was 35 so a lot of drama, for a very long time. Anyway my mom comes over and before we go out she says to me "I know this is supposed to be a happy time but I can't help but tell you when we are shopping I will be thinking about Joe". Joe was my sisters ex-boyfriend who had brain cancer. Um mom you probably should have kept that to yourself! I really didn't need to know that when I was trying on my wedding dress my mom was thinking about someone dying. So then my sister calls and says she isn't coming because she has had an "allergy attack" which is really code for she has a hangover. Okay we get through that.

Off to the dress shop. When I come out in the first dress my mom is on the phone, with my sister of course. When I come out in the second dress, my mom is on the phone, with my sister. Onto dress 3 which I happened to buy, my mom is still on the phone and I am holding up my finger as in "This is the 1!". Finally I said mom please could we please have just an hour out of the whole year to celebrate this rather than dwelling on Lisa and her problems" but by then the dress shopping was over. Thank goodness for my little sister who was looking at my mom like she was wacky.

Some people might think I was being a little silly about all of this but I am Canadian and I married an American and the only pre-wedding event we had was the dress shopping. No engagement party, no shower, no bachelorette. My sister was supposed to arrange those but she didn't. More allery attacks. Then I moved to the states, got married six days later, just the two of us which was nice but really underwhelming.

Oh this is a sad story, that might not be making you feel better. We decided to have a second ceremony a year later, with our families, including sister who did manage to make it. During that time I discovered brides.com and seeing as I didn't know a soul in SC I spent copious amounts of time on here chatting and exchanging ideas and I got amazing support from people I didn't even know. If you are feeling alone I really encourage you to become a part of the brides.com community.

As for your dress shopping, well first of all you are going to avoid a horror story like mine, but there are also ways to make it really wonderul. I have some ideas for you.

1. Call the shops and ask if you are allowed to take photos. Some shops won't allow it. Get your bridal consultant to take pictures. If you have people to send them to then you can get their feedback without them being there. If you don't have anyone post pictures here. The ladies here can look at wedding dresses, alllll daaaayyy loooong.

2. When you call the shop let them know you are coming alone. Consultants are known for having certain selling styles and some of them are very friendly and make you feel like you are shopping with a girlfriend. I had one like that, thank goodness or I was have been tempted to remove the phone from my mother. You can even mention that you are feeling a little sad about coming alone. wedding shopping whether its a dress or flowers is all about emotion and those shops know it. They know if they want to make you happy aka sell you a dress they have to appeal to their emotions. By calling ahead you are just letting them know what you need to make you happier. Win -win.

3. Call your fiance when you are shopping and let him know how excited you are to be trying on dresses. I think that would be really sweet and a great reminder of what it is all really about.

Good luck. Please come back with photos for us to see.

august_2008 , south_carolina , colorado , dresses , august_2010 , california
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PharmToxGirl Posts : 5,462 Registered: 8/30/07
Re: Dresses
Posted: Jan 16, 2010 6:32 PM Go to message in response to: TanisJ

RadGirl - I did have a friend go shopping with me when I went to try on dresses, but it was totally spur of the moment because of a sale. I didn't expect to find my dress - which I did. And it was with a good friend, but I had always thought I'd shop with my Mom - who was on a transatlantic cruise ship at the time and my BF who's in NJ.

My GF was great, but it wasn't what I had thought of previously - though she ended up being a BM in my wedding and has become a really great friend (it was early in our friendship at that time). And our consultant rocked! And I didn't even have an appointment.

I was able to take pics - so I sent them to my Mom and my BF (Also MOH) and they told me to get it!

So it can work out even when it's not what you expected or wanted. Good luck!

Oh and when we went to try look at flower girl dresses and a dress for my MOH there was this mother in there being so NASTY to her adult daughter. It was ridiculous. I felt bad for the chickie. We had to move to the other side of the store - my Mom and I almost said something to her.

 

 

 

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radgirl Posts : 22 Registered: 1/11/10
Re: Dresses
Posted: Jan 16, 2010 8:54 PM Go to message in response to: TanisJ

TanisJ, OMG, I'm so sorry about your dress experience. Maybe it would have been better if you were alone. Ugh, depressing.

I don't know everyone, it's been 2 weeks since I've been engaged and I'm to the point that I want to run away. I have no local support for this wedding, those who are happy for me are not around or are too busy, I have a mother and grandmother who are so negative that I must stay away from them (my mother refuses to acknowledge my engagement), and I could go on and on. Oh yeah, I have a FH that is in the midst of a depressive state. I don't know what to do, where to start (if I should even bother starting). I thought an engagement was supposed to be a happy time and every since I said yes, I've been miserable.

Sorry to sound like such a downer, but this is not what I expected....at all.

august_2008 , south_carolina , colorado , dresses , august_2010 , california
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MrsS2010 Posts : 336 Registered: 5/25/09
Re: Dresses
Posted: Jan 16, 2010 9:28 PM Go to message in response to: radgirl

Aw radgirl you sound miserable!! You poor thing *hugs*! you said you dont want to waste somebodys time but theres gotta be someone around who probably wants to go alot more than you realize!! ONe of my BMs I KNOW was only eager to go with me because shes so wedding crazed taht I think she was secretly looking at stuff for herself at the same time :) Have you picked out your wedding party yet? If not then maybe get yourself occupied with that, or just at least start some planning just by doing research online.

I didnt get that super happy, excited feeling when I first got engaged - felt like I could cry practically on command - not because people werent supporting me or werent happy for me but because that made FH and I be at each others throats constantly and it was really wearing me out but it helped to just start doing my own little things, get ideas, and do something like dress shopping to get myself pumped up for this wedding thing :). Try getting your FH excited about it - it might lift your spirits to hear him say something along those lines - worked for me also :) Hey if you gotta go alone and follow what Tanis (I think?) suggested, then at least give it a try!! You might like it actually - and make sure to post pics for us to gush over with you :)

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TanisJ Posts : 2,673 Registered: 4/25/07
Re: Dresses
Posted: Jan 17, 2010 11:11 AM Go to message in response to: radgirl

Oh no radgirl, I didn't mean to make you feel worse! I just wanted to tell you a story about dress shopping that wasn't all sunshine and roses so you'd know that sometimes going by yourself is better.

I think most women expect their engagement to be a happy time and there are some of us who have some really awful storie and almost all women experience a lot of stress. You don't see that in the bridal magazines, because those stories don't sell!

You've only been engaged two weeks so give it some time. Right now I would focus on your relationship with your FH, expecially since he is depressed. Once that is worked through I am sure you will be much happier.

august_2008 , south_carolina , colorado , dresses , august_2010 , california
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