Where to begin?

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StephanieRS Posts : 9 Registered: 1/12/10
Where to begin?
Posted: Jan 12, 2010 7:28 PM

I just recently got engaged and we aren't planning to get married until 2011 but I'm the type of person who wants to begin looking into what is available. The problem is I have no idea where to begin! There are so many things that go into planning a wedding and I honestly don't know where to start. Anyone have any suggestions or advice? It would be much appreciated!

Thanks so much!


auntofthebride Posts : 9,354 Registered: 4/2/06
Re: Where to begin?
Posted: Jan 12, 2010 8:43 PM Go to message in response to: StephanieRS

Dear Stephanie,

The best place to start would be to go to the bookstore and look for a wedding planning book. There are many available; pick the one that best appeals to you. Then go to the magazine rack and look through the "wedding porn" magazines.

Next, get a looseleaf notebook and lots of pocket folders. As you look through magazines, just tear out an ad you like then put it in a pocket folder category. Later, when you have a better idea of what you want, just toss the ads you don't like that much.

There's a start! Happy planning.


FrancieElaine Posts : 654 Registered: 6/26/09
Re: Where to begin?
Posted: Jan 12, 2010 10:25 PM Go to message in response to: StephanieRS

Congrats on your engagement! It's great you have plenty of time to plan. Aunt is right about getting a nice planning book. They are very handy, especially for OCD brides! (smiles)

You may want to check in your area to see if there are any upcoming bridal shows. I am getting ready to attend a huge bridal show in Charlotte, NC in a couple of weeks. Bridal shows can be fun because you can get lots of ideas, win prizes, sample lots of free food, etc. And I think it just gets you excited about all the stuff out there!

Enjoy the bridal magazines, but also beware of them! Like Aunt said, they are bridal porn! It is easy to get sucked into very high expectations if you spend too much time looking at perfect pictures in perfect magazines. Just my opinion.

There are lots of great bridal websites to explore too... this being one of them! I think the internet really has helped make wedding planning easier.

Good luck and keep us posted!

Francie Elaine, The Bride Whisperer






FutureMrsDJLeo Posts : 615 Registered: 2/26/09
Re: Where to begin?
Posted: Jan 12, 2010 10:51 PM Go to message in response to: auntofthebride

Congratulations! When it 2011 do you plan on getting married? It might be too soon to start booking places, but you can always start getting ideas together, and first you should set your budget and what you and FH want for a wedding.

I completely agree with Aunt on getting a planning book. This was the second thing I did for my planning, the first was debating if I wanted it at home or a destination wedding. I bought one and it was so much information in it, it's crazy! It also has brought to my attention all the little details that you normally wouldn't think of, for example, cake cutting fees...I would've never thought about little fees like that if it wasn't in the book. Thank God all of those little fees are included in my wedding package, so a lot of that information was useless to me, but it's better to have too much info rather than not enough.


Girlybride090209 Posts : 12 Registered: 9/28/09
Re: Where to begin?
Posted: Jan 13, 2010 1:06 AM Go to message in response to: StephanieRS

I'm also a 2011 bride I started by just looking at websites and magazines. I had some nice friends who had recently got married and the were nice and donated all their issues of bridal magazines. So I started by putting together a binder(I used one I had laying around the house) of the clipping from those magazines that liked. I used plastic sleeve covers to put the clippings. Once I had gone through all of those magazines and all the clippings; I categorized the clippings. I know it sounds like a lot of work but it is fun trying to find your own style and figuring out what you do or do not like.
I am like a falling star who has finally found her place next to another in a lovely constellation, where we will sparkle in the heavens forever.-Amy Tan


CheetahAngel Posts : 2,017 Registered: 11/29/08
Re: Where to begin?
Posted: Jan 13, 2010 8:38 AM Go to message in response to: StephanieRS

The first thing I did was to go on wedding websites and bookmark the sites that I liked and saved the pictures that I liked. If I liked a dress online I saved it onto my computer, or if I liked a certain type of cake or flowers I saved those pictures. I did the same thing by looking at bridal magazines. I bought a whole bunch and if I saw something I liked I clipped the page out and put it in my wedding binder. I knew right away what my wedding theme would be so that was a big help. Then I attended bridal shows and gathered stuff from there. But let me warn you that those can be overwhelming! But don't worry, what I did was search for those vendors online and if it looked too pricey I threw away their info. If I liked it I emailed them for info. I broke things into pieces. I searched for my venue first, then my DJ, and then my photographer. Once I got those big things out of the way I felt much better. Luckily for you there is a lot of time for you to break everything up and not book everything at once! Most of all enjoy it because it goes by too fast! :)


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auntofthebride Posts : 9,354 Registered: 4/2/06
Re: Where to begin?
Posted: Jan 13, 2010 11:05 AM Go to message in response to: StephanieRS


Good advice about looking at "wedding porn" with care.

Bridal advertising is often called "wedding porn" because the average person has about as much chance of having one of these over-the-top weddings as they do looking like the typical surgically-enhanced air-brushed professionally made up porn star.

I read an interesting blurb about envy this morning. I think it was on CNN, but when I went back to find it, I was unsuccessful. Essentially, the article said that envy has become worse with the shrinking of the world.

Time was when a person might know 100-200 people in their whole life. They never left their village or small town. There wasn't that much difference between the town's richest person and the average person. They had no clue how people in other towns or cities might live.

Now, we see giant photo spreads and "reality" (ha ha) TV shows with ultra-extravagent lifestyles, and we wonder why we can't have the same thing. The photo spreads are financed by deep-pocketed corporations and the reality TV shows are financed by the networks.

Unless you have a giant corporate entity behind you, you aren't going to match the stuff you see in the media. It's all "wedding porn".

It's good to get ideas. Pull out ads that you like, separate the wheat from the chaff. Then, get realistic with your own budget, such as it is, and start making choices.


BriansAzBride Posts : 326 Registered: 12/5/08
Re: Where to begin?
Posted: Jan 13, 2010 12:32 PM Go to message in response to: auntofthebride

Oh but Aunt there is actually a book now called "porn for the bride" It's a book of attractive men saying all the right things a bride wants to hear. They are full clothed (I think two of them have their shirts off) and are saying things like "I can't wait to go pick out china patterns with you" and "I had my best man send over his speech so we could approve it before the wedding". I call it my dirty little secret and I keep it hidden in my room :)




 I feel like a kid. Pinch me. This kind of love certainly can't be real. Oh wait, it is :)


myra Posts : 5,550 Registered: 3/28/06
Re: Where to begin?
Posted: Jan 13, 2010 2:09 PM Go to message in response to: StephanieRS

Start with the realities of your budget--what you have, what you will be able to save, who's contributing the money (and what strings are attached to the money). Without knowing how much money you have, you can plan and dream all you want, but eventually you will have to face the fact (as everyone else does, believe me!) that what you want and what you can afford are very likely two different things. As for what to do when,almost any wedding magazine or website has some sort of planning timeline. Look at these, but realize that they're just suggestions, not the Holy Bible, so feel free to modify these suggestiions to fit your own realities.
myra at www.classysassyweddings.com


Lori82 Posts : 151 Registered: 3/21/08
Re: Where to begin?
Posted: Jan 13, 2010 4:15 PM Go to message in response to: StephanieRS

The whole planning process can be quite intimidating at first since there is so much to be done. I was very intimidated myself. I think it's great that you are starting to plan your wedding in advance. I booked the church and the hall 18 months before our wedding, so I had plenty of time to get everything done.

I would advise you to start out general and then get into the specifics as time moves on. For example: map out your budget, start drafting your guest list, and look at venues and caterers. That should be project number one. Once that is done you can start looking into DJs, florists, bakeries for the cake, planning your color schemes, dresses, etc...Once all of that is done it's time to get into the nitty gritty of favors, centerpieces, decorations, and all those little details. This is the order I followed and everything smoothly. Once I had the church and reception hall booked, everything else just fell in to place.


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