I am new and a 2nd time bride...any others out there?

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SteveandLauri Posts : 12 Registered: 1/4/10
I am new and a 2nd time bride...any others out there?
Posted: Jan 6, 2010 2:47 PM

Hi everyone,

I just got engaged on New Year's Eve, COMPLETE shock, I knew he had the ring but I didn't expect it any time soon.

This is a second marriage for both of us and we are blending families, and involving our kids in the wedding as much as they want to be.

Wondering if there was anyone else in the same situation as me?

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InLoveWDRM Posts : 52 Registered: 12/3/09
Re: I am new and a 2nd time bride...any others out there?
Posted: Jan 7, 2010 1:49 PM Go to message in response to: SteveandLauri

Hey! You're not alone.! I got married when I was 18 and divorced when I was 22. I knew it was the wrong thing to do when I was getting dressed and went thru it anyway.! We made it almost 5 years and then we split up. I am now with my FH who is 19 and amazing, I have never been in love like this. =) Neither of us have kids but I have lost 2 so we are hoping that we can have a miracle baby one day =)

so you're not alone.!
What bothers me is in some magazines it's saying not to wear a viel if ur a 2nd time bride and no white. welll I am wearing white cause I want a traditional wedding.! and I think a viel just completes it lol. anyways Im always here if you wanna talk!


CONGRATS!!!

 Future Mrs. McMahan as of December 24,2009 !

Daisypath Wedding tickers

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SteveandLauri Posts : 12 Registered: 1/4/10
Re: I am new and a 2nd time bride...any others out there?
Posted: Jan 7, 2010 2:31 PM Go to message in response to: InLoveWDRM

Thank you. I am glad to hear I am not alone.

I say wear what you want, everyone deserves to be happy and sometimes we don't always get that the first time around. But taking the chance on love again and finding the one, is worth everything I went thru to find him.

We are going very casual and outdoor wedding, so I am thinking sundress style...I know I want my hair long and then in a up-do with some type of flowers...A good friend of mine is a hair stylist so she can figure that part out. :)

Congrats to you for finding the one. Your ring is beautiful by the way.

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InLoveWDRM Posts : 52 Registered: 12/3/09
Re: I am new and a 2nd time bride...any others out there?
Posted: Jan 7, 2010 4:18 PM Go to message in response to: SteveandLauri

I did not get what I wanted the first time. I was only 18 and my mom and aunt planned it all and my aunt even got me a bouquet without me knowing that was carnations. =( I hated it LOL- ours is going to be outside at his parents they have an amazing backyard that is surrounded by trees and I want a goddess style dress, i have seen one at davids bridal that is amazing its one shoulder with flowers up the shoulder and it just hangs on you. but it is so pretty.. again thinking it is pretty and actually liking it on u is a different story. lol. but i agree wear whatever u want my wedding isnt going to be in a magazine or on tv to be looked at so i am going to do whatever I want LOL. =)

 Future Mrs. McMahan as of December 24,2009 !

Daisypath Wedding tickers

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ICEStandard Posts : 34 Registered: 12/10/09
Re: I am new and a 2nd time bride...any others out there?
Posted: Jan 7, 2010 5:32 PM Go to message in response to: SteveandLauri

Congratulations! I am a 2nd time bride and have a blended family. It is working out good for us. We have rules and understanding that works for everybody involved. Hope everything works out and good luck.

www.icestandard.org

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SteveandLauri Posts : 12 Registered: 1/4/10
Re: I am new and a 2nd time bride...any others out there?
Posted: Jan 7, 2010 7:38 PM Go to message in response to: ICEStandard

Thank you ladies.

Our blended family is working well also. It took some time, but we are getting there.

ICE-I wish you the best as well, we share the same date. :)

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FrancieElaine Posts : 654 Registered: 6/26/09
Re: I am new and a 2nd time bride...any others out there?
Posted: Jan 7, 2010 10:53 PM Go to message in response to: SteveandLauri

CONGRATS! I'm your GIRL! I got remarried in June 2009 and we blended families too. I have a 22 year old son and my DH has three daughters, ages 12,8, and 5. I can tell you a lot about blending families, but I would like to know more specifics... like the ages of all the kids.

Blending two families is not for the faint of heart! It is a challenge and a lot can go wrong. I would definitely recommend pre-marital counseling. A professional counselor can help you navigate through any challenges you may have.

But don't forget you are a bride and you deserve to have a beautiful, stress free (as much as possible) wedding! I am very happy for you!

Francie Elaine, The Bride Whisperer

www.bride-whisperer.com

http://twitter.com/BrideWhispering

http://bridewhisperer.blogspot.com  

 

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CatStandish Posts : 2,766 Registered: 6/20/08
Re: I am new and a 2nd time bride...any others out there?
Posted: Jan 7, 2010 11:08 PM Go to message in response to: SteveandLauri

I was a second time bride. (3rd engagement, 2nd wedding. But I've only been proposed to by two men... and I have married each of them)

I wore a white dress with a sweep train. I had a veil (I didn't do the blusher veil though). I loved my veil and kept it on until I got out of my wedding gown (I made my veil, and I still think it is beautiful...I was thrilled with how it came out in pictures....can you tell what 10 hours of hard work will do to you when you focus in on your pictures? <G>)

I married my high school sweetheart this time.

Like a PP, I knew I shouldn't have married my first husband (knew it months out, but didn't have the courage to call it off. I now call my first wedding my "spine transplant"....I needed to get one, and that is how I paid for it. Was it worth it? Yes. Having the courage and conviction to stand up for myself and what I believe in was definitely worth the hell I went through for a year and a half to learn it.) So the first wedding was a learning experience.

And like a PP, I didn't get to plan my first wedding. My mom took care of all of that. I'd mention what I liked, and they did do a lot that I liked. But it was not a wedding that represented me (or the X) at all. It was very cookie cutter.

This wedding was everything I could have dreamed, and my DH was with me planning it the entire way.

There is a book called "Bride Again" that is a great resource for the 2nd Timer...because there are a lot of things that used to be considered in bad taste if we did...and now this isn't the case. A wedding is a cause for celebration -- and a 2nd time bride is not stuck wearing a suit and standing up at the courthouse. You CAN have the whole enchilada.... AND a veil!

Misty

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SteveandLauri Posts : 12 Registered: 1/4/10
Re: I am new and a 2nd time bride...any others out there?
Posted: Jan 8, 2010 3:32 PM Go to message in response to: CatStandish

I am soooo happy to know there are ladies like me going through what I am or have gone through it.

My boys are 8, and almost 10. My FH kids are, 10 son, and almost 12 daughter.

We also have my 14 year old nephew living with us till June 2010.

We have full custody of Steve's kids, they see their mom every other weekend, school breaks and during the summer, with us having them a two week period for family vacation. (this schedule just took effect in November)

I have 50/50 with my ex-H with my boys, we do not have a set schedule we follow, we figure it out ourselves and that is how we have always done it.

We have had many trials already, we are lucky all the kids approve of our relationship. I am very fortunate that Steve supports me and backs me up with the kids.


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FmF Posts : 106 Registered: 8/19/09
Re: I am new and a 2nd time bride...any others out there?
Posted: Jan 15, 2010 3:08 PM Go to message in response to: SteveandLauri

im a first time bride, but i saw what you said about blending families. this is my fh's second marriage (and his last) he has 2 kids age 6 and 4

Future Mrs. Fransen

 "From every human being there rises a light that reaches straight to heaven. And when two souls that are destined to be together find each other, their streams of light flow together, and a single brighter light goes forth from their united being."
--Unknown

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SummerLilly Posts : 3 Registered: 1/21/10
Re: I am new and a 2nd time bride...any others out there?
Posted: Jan 21, 2010 2:24 PM Go to message in response to: SteveandLauri

I am a 3rd time bride and it will be my FH 2nd marraige. He has 2 children ages 8 and 5. Honestly I probably would be happy with a small weekend away and elopement. However because he only has his children everyother weekend I want them to see us go through the ceremony. I want them to understand what is happening so when they come and we are sharing a bedroom they will know why.

We are on a small budget and won't have much help from family because they like everyone else can't afford it. I'm not sure what will end up happening.

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JennfromFolsom Posts : 34 Registered: 3/6/09
Re: I am new and a 2nd time bride...any others out there?
Posted: Jan 28, 2010 8:32 PM Go to message in response to: SummerLilly

I was a first time bride, but second marriage for my husband. My hubby had two teenage girls who were in our wedding and I have no children but included a bunch of my nieces!


                                                       Jenn & Dave

                                       Married 10/4/09 Forest Hill, CA

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kkress Posts : 3 Registered: 2/13/10
Re: I am new and a 2nd time bride...any others out there?
Posted: Feb 13, 2010 9:53 PM Go to message in response to: SteveandLauri

This actually isn't my second marriage. But it my second engagement. I have two kids and my FH has 1, so I'm thinking that we might be able to bounce some ideas of using the kids off each other. We are having a casual wedding. It will be inside due to the unpredictible weather here, but the guys are just wearing jeans and vests and the girls will be wearing tea lenght dresses. We are very country people and want everyone to have a good time and be relaxed and not stuffy and uncomfortable. We are looking at a hunting lodge to have our wedding in--and I've completely gotten off topic. I tend to do that with the wedding stuff. Anyway, I don't want to push my kids to do something in the wedding, but I want to include them as well. So, maybe we can help each other out.

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FrancieElaine Posts : 654 Registered: 6/26/09
Re: I am new and a 2nd time bride...any others out there?
Posted: Feb 13, 2010 10:21 PM Go to message in response to: SteveandLauri

Being a stepparent can be very tricky. First, you take on the responsibility of loving your stepchildren and caring for them in every way. But, you are very limited in their upbringing. You may have some say so when they are in your home, but the discipline of your stepchildren mainly will come from you DH. It is important to remain a team and work together on parenting issues. It is also very important to have a good relationship with his ex. Whether he communicates with his ex or you do, it is imperative that you get along well for the children's sake. The main reason for this is because, well, it is just the best thing for the kids. Kids feel safe and secure when the adults are getting along. Also, when they become teens, it is important that they don't play on set of parents against the other set of parents. Does that make sense? I think stepparents deserve a special place in heaven! It is really a hard job but it is also very rewarding. Good luck!

Francie Elaine, The Bride Whisperer

www.bride-whisperer.com

http://twitter.com/BrideWhispering

http://bridewhisperer.blogspot.com  

 

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FrancieElaine Posts : 654 Registered: 6/26/09
Re: I am new and a 2nd time bride...any others out there?
Posted: Feb 13, 2010 10:22 PM Go to message in response to: SummerLilly

I totally agree it is very important to include the children in the ceremony. Divorce and blending families can be very traumatic on children. Including them in the ceremony makes them feel part of things and shows them love.

Francie Elaine, The Bride Whisperer

www.bride-whisperer.com

http://twitter.com/BrideWhispering

http://bridewhisperer.blogspot.com  

 

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