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Any Age Differences?

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InLoveWDRM Posts : 52 Registered: 12/3/09
Any Age Differences?
Posted: Jan 5, 2010 7:25 PM

As some of you know I am 7 years older than my fiance. I am 26 and he is 19, and yes I get the whole he is so young, he doesn't know what he wants. The thing is we have been together almost 3 years and regardless of what anyone says I know that he is more ready than a lot of people my age are. His oldest sister had her first child when she was 15 so he never really had his own childhood and it made him grow up really fast. He will be the first one to tell you that if a marriage has problems you work it out, you don't separate or just run from the problems. He always says "a marriage is a vow to be with one person forever, it's a committment that I don't take lightly." So, I feel he knows exactly what he wants and I am so glad that it is me. EIther way I just wanted to see if anyone is in the same boat. It's rare that the woman is the older person but trust me when I say people don't look at it the same either. I have been called a slut, a whore, old woman, cradle robber etc. I never intended to fall for anyone that young let alone anyone younger than me at all, I honestly tried to fight it. But couldn't. I have had friends say you should live together first before getting married, I honestly don't want to do that it takes the fun out of getting married, finding a house, etc. I know how he is at home I have been with him almost 3 years I've seen him in all his laziness, football watching,leaving towels and clothes on the floor, etc. and I don't care. I am quite happy with my younger guy. lol. So, tell me about your age differences and how you met or issues you've had to face with it. But do NOT tell me mine is too young to know what he wants, he will be 21 when we marry and he's had a life that's made him grow up quickly. He is an amazing man and knows that he wants me.

 Future Mrs. McMahan as of December 24,2009 !

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RobininMI Posts : 7 Registered: 1/5/10
Re: Any Age Differences?
Posted: Jan 5, 2010 7:48 PM Go to message in response to: InLoveWDRM

Hello there...

You are not alone with age differences, mine is significantly different. My fiance' is much older than myself and as I tell everyone all that matters is that we love each other, we relate to each other and it doesn't bother either one of us.

So long as you two are happy and committed, who cares about the age difference?


Congratulations on your engagement!


Robin in MI

Danny and Robin

Engaged 12-24-2009

Wedding 11-01-2010

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InLoveWDRM Posts : 52 Registered: 12/3/09
Re: Any Age Differences?
Posted: Jan 5, 2010 7:51 PM Go to message in response to: RobininMI

Thank you Robin!
so many people to try worry about others relationships
instead of their own. I have NEVER asked for anyone's opinion
on our age difference or our relationship. Like with this post i
just wanted to meet others I can relate to. There are immature
19 year olds just as there are immature 30 year olds. We have been
in love and are still in love I can't see myself with anyone else so
why wouldn't I want to marry him? Congrats on your engagement too
you sound very happy ! =)

 Future Mrs. McMahan as of December 24,2009 !

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RobininMI Posts : 7 Registered: 1/5/10
Re: Any Age Differences?
Posted: Jan 5, 2010 8:27 PM Go to message in response to: InLoveWDRM

It is not always easy to have a age difference if you are around negative people but hang in there...you two are obviously in love, consenting adults and know what you are doing. People who namecall and say awful things must not have very good self esteem to begin with that they have to envolve themselves in negative acts towards other people .

My family and Danny's family have been very supportive but we get the looks from time to time, etc...we ignore them. ;)


Robin

Danny and Robin

Engaged 12-24-2009

Wedding 11-01-2010

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SwtErin Posts : 6 Registered: 1/3/10
Re: Any Age Differences?
Posted: Jan 5, 2010 8:30 PM Go to message in response to: InLoveWDRM

I'm 24 and my FI is 32. Our birthdays are literally 2 weeks apart in July so we almost exactly an 8 year age difference.... however it should be stated now that full make-up and hair done I look maybe 18 and without I look about 16 being liberal.

Just on age I've had a lot of people call him a cradle robber and a pervert. I've been called a gold digger, pathetic etc...

This naturally offends me because I'm an adult and two I have a 5 year old child and have been a single mother for the last 3 years.

But based on looks I've had people assume I'm really young so they call him really nasty names like a child molester.

I say screw them though, as long as we're happy :-)

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InLoveWDRM Posts : 52 Registered: 12/3/09
Re: Any Age Differences?
Posted: Jan 5, 2010 8:36 PM Go to message in response to: SwtErin

thank you Robin, I completely agree.
Luckily for me mine and David's family are
really supportive as well. I love his family!

and Erin it's not your fault that God blessed you
with good looks and you happen to have young looking
skin ! lol you are really pretty and Im glad you are happy.
Congrats.

I guess I just get the comments because people assume he
is with me for a sugar momma (LOL) or I am with him for sex.
Which is great i am not going to lie but we didn't even have sex
for quite a while when we got together. Either way people should
mind their own relationships and know that I am happier than I could
ever be.

 Future Mrs. McMahan as of December 24,2009 !

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April2010Bride Posts : 134 Registered: 4/26/09
Re: Any Age Differences?
Posted: Jan 5, 2010 8:50 PM Go to message in response to: InLoveWDRM

My FH is 6.5 years younger than me. I turned 28 in July, and he'll be 22 at the end of this month. His parents were our biggest hurdle, as they couldn't understand what a 26-year old would want with a 19-year old. Like your FH, mine is mature beyond his years; however, that has nothing to do with it. I love him. He's caring, thoughtful, and genuine. We have so much fun together, and he'll do absolutely ANYthing to see me smile. That's the type of man I want to spend the rest of my life with.

One of his moron friends refers to me as "the cougar", to other people. Haha! I think his mom is still a little skeptical, as well, but I couldn't care less. There are probably a multitude of other things she's skeptical about, as she and I definitely aren't besties.

I am curious as to how you were able to pull off the relationship when he was 16-years old. His parents didn't disapprove?

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Edited by: SweetSC on Jan 5, 2010 8:51 PM

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SMGray Posts : 84 Registered: 1/2/10
Re: Any Age Differences?
Posted: Jan 5, 2010 8:59 PM Go to message in response to: InLoveWDRM

My fiance and I have almost a 20 year age difference, I'm 23 and he's 42. A lot of people look shocked when I tell them our ages, he happens to look younger than his age and I'm a lot more mature than he is (though I have to say, I definitely look my age if not younger, thank God). People think that we don't have much in common because of the age difference or that I shouldn't be interested in someone so much older than me who hasn't already "settled down." For us, neither of those things are true. My future husband has enough of an established life to support me, but he's young at heart enough that we have a fun, youthful relationship. The only thing I ever worry about is making sure we have children as soon as possible after the wedding- I want to make sure he and our kids have enough time to spend with eachother, I don't want them to worry that their father won't be around to meet his grandchildren. That speeds up the kids plan a little bit, but we've been together 3 years and we're excited to get married and have children for romantic reasons... our relationship is ready. Our age difference doesn't concern me at all, it works for us, and once people see that, they learn to look past it too.

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InLoveWDRM Posts : 52 Registered: 12/3/09
Re: Any Age Differences?
Posted: Jan 5, 2010 9:06 PM Go to message in response to: April2010Bride

well SweetSC i was his boss and I had known his sister from work a while before. That is how we started talking, but immediately his mother had a fit, his dad was like go for it if you're happy then I am happy. We actually had sort of broken it off before we even made the relationship official and he called me and told me he didn't want to be with anyone else and he had chances, i mean he was a football player that was always around girls so I wasnt the only one trying but he seemed so much older than that. Either way he pretty much told his mother than she could either accept it or get over it because we were going to be together, I got alot of the cougar jokes, and still do sometimes and to be honest I HATE the fact that he was 16 almost 17 and I would probably freak out too if it was my son, she wanted to know what I would want with someone that much younger than me, and he was just wanting someone experienced etc etc. but she quickly saw that wasnt the case. Now, his dad loves me and says Im his favorite (which I will be his only daughter in law, David only has sisters) and his mom calls and asks me to go shopping, she checks on me when I am sick, invites me over and I am always at every family function. I get along great with the whole family and the extended family as well. When we announced the engagement at christmas everyone hugged me and his mom was sitting there waiting to take pictures when David asked me to marry him. It's all worked out for the best, I couldnt ask for better future in laws. His dad is awesome, he will bend over backwards to help me I love them both very much.

 Future Mrs. McMahan as of December 24,2009 !

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April2010Bride Posts : 134 Registered: 4/26/09
Re: Any Age Differences?
Posted: Jan 5, 2010 9:18 PM Go to message in response to: InLoveWDRM

Gah, girl! Our relationships almost mirror each other. I was FH's boss, too. We had to keep our relationship a secret (from co-workers and bosses) for almost a year, until he got his job and was able to quit.

I've never seen our age difference as an issue, but I must admit, it's nice knowing there are other older women. It seems to be SO uncommon!

 Visit our wedding website!    http://www.theknot.com/OurWedding/TanyaEdwards&RichardHutto

 

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InLoveWDRM Posts : 52 Registered: 12/3/09
Re: Any Age Differences?
Posted: Jan 5, 2010 9:31 PM Go to message in response to: April2010Bride

haha! SC that is sooo funny.! I was the one that found another job with a better opportunity but we had to do the same thing. That is so funny.! I agree it is nice to know that i am not the only one and there are actually other people that share some things with me in the relationship. lol but honestly I really do not pay any attention to our ages and when we started dating I didnt even think about it. I mean I questioned myself just because I thought what in the world lol but I knew he was the one for me. Id never felt this way about anyone else and I still get butterflies when he walks in the room, even if he is annoying me lol!

 Future Mrs. McMahan as of December 24,2009 !

Daisypath Wedding tickers

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April2010Bride Posts : 134 Registered: 4/26/09
Re: Any Age Differences?
Posted: Jan 5, 2010 9:35 PM Go to message in response to: InLoveWDRM

That's awesome! I know the feeling.

 Visit our wedding website!    http://www.theknot.com/OurWedding/TanyaEdwards&RichardHutto

 

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FutureMrsLevine Posts : 77 Registered: 12/28/09
Re: Any Age Differences?
Posted: Jan 5, 2010 10:04 PM Go to message in response to: InLoveWDRM

I am 21 and my FH is 29. He will be 31 when we get married and I will be 23. It does not seem like that big of a deal to me, but a lot of other people have a problem with it. He has been told that he is a pervert and that he is only after one thing because he is with someone so young, and I've been told that I'm just after his money, and that I just want someone to take care of me. None of this is the case for us, but instead of letting it bother us, we just keep on moving on. When I don't know what to do, I just keep on loving him, and he gets me through. I love him and feel more emotionally stable with him than I have with anyone my own age. I can not imagine myself being with anyone else. Congratulations to you all, and don't let anyone else tell you how your relationship is, you are the only one that knows that!

 

 

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NatashaAB Posts : 353 Registered: 10/6/08
Re: Any Age Differences?
Posted: Jan 5, 2010 10:30 PM Go to message in response to: InLoveWDRM

Nate and I are 9.5 years apart. I am 22 and he is 31.

I tease him about being a cradle robber all the time. The age difference between us has no bearings. We love each other and he's everything I want in a person. That is all that matters. It is true that we are at different stages of our lives but we're doing it together. I am finishing up in school and he already his career mapped out. We get a lot of looks, whispers, and all those lovely things but we ignore it. Never mind the fact that I look like I am 16 and that makes it all the worse! Our own families had misgivings about us and his sister would tell him that I was too young for him, in my partying stage of life, and I wasnt the right girl. It was annoying. But, he stuck up for me and eventually, she got over it. Now, that we are having babies they have pretty much all gotten over it and we are second nature to them.

He's a doctor and we met in the hospital.

Ignore what people say. If you know and your FH knows how much you love each other, that's what matters.

Nat (22) Nate (31)



Edited by: NatashaAB on Jan 5, 2010 10:33 PM

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NatashaAB Posts : 353 Registered: 10/6/08
Re: Any Age Differences?
Posted: Jan 5, 2010 10:32 PM Go to message in response to: InLoveWDRM

Double! Sorry!


Edited by: NatashaAB on Jan 5, 2010 10:33 PM

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