Preparing to be dissapointed....

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stephsteph Posts : 2 Registered: 12/23/09
Preparing to be dissapointed....
Posted: Dec 23, 2009 10:54 AM

So I know I'm not getting engaged for Christmas to my SO of 2 1/2 years, who I live with. I'm well aware it won't happen. But there is a tiny part of me that keeps hoping I might be wrong. No matter how much I tell myself it isn't going to happen, I can't help but hope. We've talked about it and he can't afford the ring he would like to get me (despite the fact that I keep telling him that any ring is fine).

I've got people asking me everyday if I think it will happen. People are asking him too. And it's ok that it isn't happening this year. I'm just trying really hard to not be dissapointed when I open my gift on Christmas and it's not a ring. I know whatever he got me I will be happy with, I just don't want him to see how dissapointed I am.

I guess I'm just venting right now, but if anyone has some good advice on my situation I'd be glad to hear it.

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Beeble Posts : 306 Registered: 11/19/09
Re: Preparing to be dissapointed....
Posted: Dec 23, 2009 11:00 AM Go to message in response to: stephsteph

Lol, I'm on that boat with ya girl. Thought it would be this year, but it's not. Going to start planning a vacation now instead of a wedding. Gives me something else to look forward to.

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LadyJ123 Posts : 4 Registered: 12/26/09
Re: Preparing to be dissapointed....
Posted: Dec 26, 2009 9:48 PM Go to message in response to: Beeble

Disappointment stinks. I'm still feeling the disappointment but a part of me knew better. It took my SO 3wks to pick out my Christmas gift, and it was nowhere near as important as a diamond/engagement ring. However, if New Years, my birthday and Valentine's Day all pass without the presentation of a sparkly ring....I will be one seriously unhappy camper.

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FutureMrsHaynes Posts : 21 Registered: 6/18/08
Re: Preparing to be dissapointed....
Posted: Dec 31, 2009 1:39 AM Go to message in response to: LadyJ123

I know the feeling all too well...this was my fifth Christmas with my boyfriend, and I knew this year that my ring was in his apartment...but alas. No ring for me.
Daisypath Anniversary Years Ticker

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JerseyGirlVA Posts : 311 Registered: 9/17/09
Re: Preparing to be dissapointed....
Posted: Dec 31, 2009 10:24 AM Go to message in response to: FutureMrsHaynes

Henry Rollins I'm in the same boat as you! The ring is in his nightstand & has been since November! No proposal during the holidays for me either.
But I have to keep reminding myself that if he isn't ready to propose yet, I rather him not. I want him to be more than 100% sure that he is ready to spend the rest of his life with me when he proposes. It's not easy to think that way, but I try to stay optimistic. He has taken the step of purchasing my e-ring & that means a lot to me =) Impatiently waiting... haha.

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ArtBride Posts : 4,838 Registered: 5/9/07
Re: Preparing to be dissapointed....
Posted: Dec 31, 2009 10:35 AM Go to message in response to: stephsteph

Ladies, ladies...people regularly get engaged on the other 364 days of the year as well as Christmas. It's not like you missed the one day of the year when people are allowed to get engaged and it'll be impossible to do so before next Christmas. And when it comes down to it, wouldn't you rather be totally surprised on a random day rather knowing it's coming when you expect it? Wouldn't you rather surprise your friends with big news on a random day instead of sharing your big news with other couples you know who got engaged on Christmas? When I hear about a friend's engagement right after Christmas or Valentine's Day, I think, 'Hmm, that's cool. Congratulations.' When I hear about it on a random Tuesday, my reaction is more like, 'Holy crap! That's the best thing I've heard all week! Awesome!"

Relax. You didn't miss your one and only chance to get engaged. We got engaged on a random Friday in early May, and now we have a reason to celebrate some random day, rather than celebrating Christmas, Valentine's Day, or my birthday and maybe remembering as an afterthought that we also got engaged that day in 2007. I like it this way, and I'm sure you will, too, if you get a random-day proposal rather than the Christmas one you were hoping for. Relax. Don't be disappointed - the holidays are still fun, regardless of whether you're dating, engaged, or married!


DaisypathWedding Ticker

Vice President and Guardian of the Toilet Brush of POOP: People Offended by Offended People

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HappyGirl13 Posts : 1,298 Registered: 4/21/08
Re: Preparing to be dissapointed....
Posted: Dec 31, 2009 2:01 PM Go to message in response to: ArtBride

I get the feelings about being disappointed about not being proposed to yet, but yeah, I agree with Art that I don't get the expectation about it happening on a holiday. My DH proposed to me on a random Tuesday--it really was a Tuesday!--in August. We made a stop on the way home from work, so it was totally a regular day and a total surprise to me. And BTW I was expecting it to come 2 weeks later on our anniversary, but he wanted to throw me off. He succeeded.

Good luck!

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ChrisBride Posts : 33 Registered: 1/14/09
Re: Preparing to be dissapointed....
Posted: Jan 2, 2010 8:46 PM Go to message in response to: JerseyGirlVA

I'm with all of you guys. I remember last year talking to my boyfriend and him saying that he "thought" this year was going to be the engagement year but alas it wasn't. My future sister in law is getting married in May and I'm very much thinking that a ring is in my very near future but until then we're all in the same boat! But my only advice for us is to just enjoy the men we're with because when we all finally get our rings there won't be as much time because there's a very beautiful wedding to be planned lmao
Love is all you need...

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sheswaiting Posts : 2 Registered: 7/26/13
Re: Preparing to be dissapointed....
Posted: Jul 26, 2013 8:32 AM Go to message in response to: stephsteph

Girl,
I know how you feel. I recently went to CA to his hometown with him and his family over my birthday! I thought for sure that he was going to pop the question but alas, I was super disappointed. I spent my whole vacation wondering when it was going to happen and on my birthday I spent a lot of time in the bathroom that night, crying because I had finally realized that it wasn't going to happen.
He talks about marriage and being with me and I am so frustrated that I have been dating him way longer than my friends have dated their SO and they are all getting engaged. I thought he would have popped the question long ago. All our friends are married with kids and then he wonders why we don't have anything to talk about with our friends...hmm, they are on a whole other level than us. I'm super impatient and it just hurts waiting.

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JoyceDavid Posts : 14 Registered: 10/29/13
Re: Preparing to be dissapointed....
Posted: Mar 25, 2014 7:02 AM Go to message in response to: stephsteph

I can understand how heart paining this is. But best is to keep the hopes up for next year and for this time, plan holidays with him.

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ElaineKendall Posts : 2 Registered: 11/12/13
Re: Preparing to be dissapointed....
Posted: Mar 25, 2014 9:30 AM Go to message in response to: JoyceDavid

Curious to hear how it turned out for some of the earlier posters on this thread. It can be a frustrating wait.

Elaine Kendall Owner The Forever Frame
Website: http://www.foreverframe.com

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/TheForeverFrameFanPage

Twitter: https://twitter.com/TheForeverFrame

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