Suspicious

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NJ4Life Posts : 3,358 Registered: 8/10/07
Re: Suspicious
Posted: Dec 15, 2009 9:17 AM Go to message in response to: MLNichols

I'm not sure why you would say yes to marrying a man who's friends you never met....that seems like a huge step in a relationship, especially if either party in the couple has a close knit group of friends.

This sounds like a train wreck and he doesnt sound good at all. Get rid of him.

New Jersey: We have dumps, bays and cement boots and we know how to use 'em

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starfish701 Posts : 465 Registered: 12/10/08
Re: Suspicious
Posted: Dec 15, 2009 10:11 AM Go to message in response to: NJ4Life

By not having met anyone in his life you have no idea what he is hiding. It could be anything from a secret girlfriend, a secret family to a secret life as a drag queen/ porn star.

He also sounds rather emotional abusive. I would leave ASAP before it turns into more.


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PharmToxGirl Posts : 5,446 Registered: 8/30/07
Re: Suspicious
Posted: Dec 15, 2009 10:19 AM Go to message in response to: starfish701

I think she should get out, I've alreayd stated that.

But I would like to comment on something else - I've stayed overnight at a friend's house while with my DH before we were engaged, while we were engaged and even while we've been married.

It happens rarely, but it does happen. The big difference is a) my DH knew beforehand, b) he knew where I was staying c) and he knows the people that are there.

Obviously if it happened with more frequency and I became secretive about it, not answering questions, this would/should become an issue. However, just staying at someone's house because a)maybe you've had too much to drink, b) you knew it was going to be a late night or something along those lines, in my opinion is not enough to be worried about cheating, etc.

This is obviously not the case in this situation, but I just wanted to throw that out there.

 

 

 

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CheetahAngel Posts : 2,017 Registered: 11/29/08
Re: Suspicious
Posted: Dec 15, 2009 10:39 AM Go to message in response to: PharmToxGirl

A man who hides his gf/fiance/wife from his friends is up to no good and is hiding something. So I would suggest you listen to us here who is giving you the advice to get out of the relationship. Do not marry this man, whatever you do!


                           
  

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NJ4Life Posts : 3,358 Registered: 8/10/07
Re: Suspicious
Posted: Dec 15, 2009 12:36 PM Go to message in response to: PharmToxGirl

Pharm, me too! DH has spent the night at friends' places after bachelor parties or something. He goes away for weekends to reunite w/ his college buddies about twice a year. And I've spent nights at friend's houses if we're going to be out late or if I'm a little too far to want to drive late at night. I've also stayed in AC with friends to hang out and gamble without him. Its definitely not that common but it does and has happened.


New Jersey: We have dumps, bays and cement boots and we know how to use 'em

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MsDenuninani Posts : 3,962 Registered: 3/16/07
Re: Suspicious
Posted: Dec 15, 2009 1:51 PM Go to message in response to: NJ4Life

You know what? If you don't know his friends, I bet you don't even have to wait to dump him. Doesn't sound like he's that into you.

What guy marries a woman that he's never introduced to his friends? Seriously?

I don't think he likes you that much, honestly.


__________________________________________

"I'd hate to advocate drugs, alcohol, or insanity, but they've always worked for me." Hunter S. Thompson

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SoontobeMrsGlover Posts : 79 Registered: 9/14/09
Re: Suspicious
Posted: Dec 15, 2009 2:09 PM Go to message in response to: MsDenuninani

I agree with everyone. He is either doing something wrong or wants you to think he is. Either way, he's sending you a message loud and clear. The silver lining is that, you don't need him and its better to know now than 5 years from now or even 6 months from now. Get out and move on. Good luck and I hope everything works out for YOU and your happiness.


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ArtBride Posts : 4,838 Registered: 5/9/07
Re: Suspicious
Posted: Dec 15, 2009 3:44 PM Go to message in response to: PharmToxGirl

However, just staying at someone's house because a)maybe you've had too much to drink, b) you knew it was going to be a late night or something along those lines, in my opinion is not enough to be worried about cheating, etc.

I agree. Both DH and I have stayed with friends on occasion, generally for the reasons you've explained. The difference, however is that:
1) The other party was Ok with it.
2) The other party knew ahead of time.
3) The other party knows the people involved.
4) Nobody is secretive about anything.

I'll also just say this: I absolutely would not marry someone without meeting his friends first. You can tell a LOT about a person from who they associate with. That's a pretty key 'knowing-your-character' requirement, for me.

DaisypathWedding Ticker

Vice President and Guardian of the Toilet Brush of POOP: People Offended by Offended People

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SoontobeMrsGlover Posts : 79 Registered: 9/14/09
Re: Suspicious
Posted: Dec 15, 2009 4:05 PM Go to message in response to: ArtBride

Yeah, this guy is going out of his way to be secretive about his whole life. This whole situation goes way beyond whether or not he might be cheating... which seems to be a given in this situation.

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FrancieElaine Posts : 654 Registered: 6/26/09
Re: Suspicious
Posted: Dec 15, 2009 5:01 PM Go to message in response to: MLNichols

Here's the thing... you deserve to have a fiance who will take your hands and pull you to him, and say, "What are your concerns honey? Let's sit down and talk about this. Tell me everything that is on your mind. How can I make you feel better?" That is what you deserve. And if you aren't getting that... and it sounds like you aren't get anything close to that... you really should reconsider this guy. I am so very sorry.

Francie Elaine, The Bride Whisperer

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ToniZilla Posts : 4 Registered: 12/16/09
Re: Suspicious
Posted: Dec 16, 2009 8:34 PM Go to message in response to: MLNichols

You definitely need to talk to him... if he continues to ignore you or give you bogus answers then you have to do something. The truth might be upsetting, but better to face it NOW than when you're already married or have children with this guy.
A fiance or husband tries to ease your fears or concerns if you have any.... he doesn't sneak around, hide his cellphone and spend the night away with someone you don't know. That is unusual, to not have met his friends by now. I know all of my fiance's friends, some have even become best friends of mine.
Keep in mind too, if you know or have it in your gut that he's messing around with someone else and you don't do anything, he's not magically going to come to his senses.... that's a huge disrespect and men like that will keep walking all over you because they know they can.

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jackson132 Posts : 1,623 Registered: 9/13/12
Re: Suspicious
Posted: Sep 14, 2012 3:02 AM Go to message in response to: MLNichols

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