Wedding Planning May Be The Death of Me

Online Users: 0 guest(s), 0 user(s). Replies: 21


WoostaBride Posts : 220 Registered: 6/8/09
Wedding Planning May Be The Death of Me
Posted: Dec 2, 2009 10:30 PM

So I've been engaged for a little over 5 months (with a little over 9 to go), and I would like to shoot myself in the foot some days. This is a process that I've looked forward to my entire life. Living in dream land is a beautiful experience...until you wake up one day and realize that it is happening for real! Don't get me wrong, I am extremely excited to begin my new life with my love, but this whole process has my head spinning. Eloping sounds so wonderful! There are juts sooooo many details to the day that you give no thought to, until all of a sudden everyone around you is like "oooh, what are you doing for welcome baskets? Have you got your dress yet? How's eeeeeeverything gooooing???" Kill me, seriously. I need a wedding planner, and I need one stat. Anyone in RI or MA please let me know of any good suggestions, thanks.

Reply


auntofthebride Posts : 9,354 Registered: 4/2/06
Re: Wedding Planning May Be The Death of Me
Posted: Dec 2, 2009 11:41 PM Go to message in response to: WoostaBride

Dear WB,

Guess what, you don't need all the crap people tell you that you MUST have.

You need a license, an officiant, a willing bride and a willing groom. (Or two willing grooms or two willing brides.)

My suggestion to you is to start from that point, then ask yourself what is the value of each item beyond bride, groom, license and officant. Welcome baskets, for example, are nice but not obligatory. If you think that will be too much a hassle, the skip it.

Reply


BBGF Posts : 66 Registered: 5/5/09
Re: Wedding Planning May Be The Death of Me
Posted: Dec 3, 2009 3:58 AM Go to message in response to: WoostaBride

First of all congratulations on getting engaged. I have been away from the forum for a while restructuring my Preferred Vendors list as well as for my standard Vendors list. I am so sorry that you are having to be stressed out. I do agree with the pp that some of the things that you have mention are nice but not necessary unless you just want them. If you feel that you truely need an Event/ Wedding Planner in you area and sorry I do not know of any to refer you, then my suggestion to you would be either look in a local bride guide or google Wedding/Event Planner for your area. I have talked with so many brides and people who have planned or tried to plan an event with everything that other people have told them that they need and what the person or couple wants get lost in all the commotion and on the other hand I have talked with a lot of people who start off wanting an Event Planner to help them plan their special day and family and friends tell them that they don't need to hire us and that they will help them with everything and don't follow through with it or fall short of what you want (needless to say that there are those family and freinds that do support and stay true to their word in helping to plan a big event). If you are on the side lines about whether to hire one or not sit down and do a pro and cons. Remember anyone can plan a wedding however sometimes eliminating the stress is more worth it then just doing it yourself. The other thing is that we can get Vendors esp. if we have Preferred Vendors to give you special incentives that you otherwise would not get just by going to them on your own. We are also buffers to a certain point between family members and you. We can give you an outside perspective on a lot of issues. So if you truely want a Wedding Planner and they fit into your budget (not every Wedding/ Event Planner cost an arm and leg), then get one I think that you will pleasantly surprised to see everything that they could do for you. I hope that this helps you.


Let us showcase your unique style.

Reply


NJ4Life Posts : 3,358 Registered: 8/10/07
Re: Wedding Planning May Be The Death of Me
Posted: Dec 3, 2009 9:32 AM Go to message in response to: WoostaBride

Hate to break it to you, but I have to be honest about this...planning a wedding SUCKS most days. Everyone I know, including myself, who has planned a wedding is OVER it by the end! So please don't feel like you are the only one. And I think it's also important to drop the whole "this time of my life is magical" It's a myth. Wedding planning has the tendency to bring out the worst in people.

New Jersey: We have dumps, bays and cement boots and we know how to use 'em

Reply


BenjaminsWife Posts : 1,069 Registered: 1/11/07
Re: Wedding Planning May Be The Death of Me
Posted: Dec 3, 2009 10:36 AM Go to message in response to: NJ4Life

I agree with NJ. Wedding planning was a complete nightmare for me and very stressful. (And I had a wedding planner!)

If I could do it all over again...I would have eloped on the beach and said screw the rest.

You just need to figure out what it is that you want and take everything everyone else says with a grain of salt or you will drive your self insane.

Good luck!

Married 9.20.08

 

 

Reply


JerseyGirlVA Posts : 311 Registered: 9/17/09
Re: Wedding Planning May Be The Death of Me
Posted: Dec 3, 2009 10:41 AM Go to message in response to: WoostaBride

As the other PPs have mentioned, decide what you want. If it is important for you and your FH to have all of your family and friends there to witness the two of you getting married, then you'll have to push through the tough times. If not, you can elope on a gorgeous beach and have beautiful pictures to show everyone who wasn't there to witness it. Do what you feel most comfortable with, this si about you and your FH =) Be happy, and congratulations on the engagement!

Reply


HappyGirl13 Posts : 1,298 Registered: 4/21/08
Re: Wedding Planning May Be The Death of Me
Posted: Dec 3, 2009 12:00 PM Go to message in response to: JerseyGirlVA

I don't have any wedding planners to recommend since I'm on the West coast (sorry), but I will jump on the same bandwagon as everyone else. Everyone in your life, plus all the wedding mags, will have an opinion on how you should do things and what you should include, but you REALLY DON'T HAVE TO. My mom, for instance, got all excited about the thought of doing welcome bags. I really couldn't have cared less about them. We didn't do them. I also didn't care about favors (I don't care about getting them so I didn't care about giving them). I also didn't care about having beautiful fancy table assignment cards--we bought colored card stock at Target and made them out of that.

Point being, you could probably figure out pretty quickly for yourself what's really important to you and what's not if you thought about it. The most important things about your wedding day are really 1) you getting married, obviously and 2) making sure your guests are fed and comfortable. So the other stuff is gravy in a way and you just need to decide which of those things is more important and prioritize, even if you get a planner. Do you love flowers and want to have fabulous centerpieces? Great, spend more time on that. Do you want great photography? Make sure you leave yourself plenty of time to interview photographers. Do welcome bags leave you cold? Skip them.


preview image

 

 

 

 

Reply


NJ4Life Posts : 3,358 Registered: 8/10/07
Re: Wedding Planning May Be The Death of Me
Posted: Dec 3, 2009 12:18 PM Go to message in response to: WoostaBride

I also want to add that I think the need for a wedding planner should be based on how complicated things are going to get. I think one is perfect if you are having a backyard wedding in a huge tent and have to rent every little thing. I would imagine a WP is a perfect liason for that type of event. but if you are having it at a venue such as a hotel, or a restaurant/hall/country club, usually these places have designated people to help you. And at a place like that, tables, linens, chairs..etc are included.

Now i had my wedding at a restaurant that had a banquet room, so the woman there helped me with everything. I think the only decision i had to make regarding the tables were the color of the napkins. everythig else was standard. however if you are the type who wants super fancy china, and a white dance floor, a WP is for you. Or if you want to keep is simple, just go w/ what they offer.

I think a lot of the problem lies in wedding shows and magazines (and FAMILY!) making you feel like you NEED all these bells and whistles. But like a PP said, the most important thing is you are getting married. The rest is just a bonus!

New Jersey: We have dumps, bays and cement boots and we know how to use 'em

Reply


Rose217 Posts : 474 Registered: 8/9/08
Re: Wedding Planning May Be The Death of Me
Posted: Dec 3, 2009 12:27 PM Go to message in response to: HappyGirl13

I agree with everyone else, but I also know how you feel! I've been engaged about five months with six to go and it seems that anytime I run into someone I haven't seen in awhile, they want to know what progress we've made in wedding plans. Um, not much, just trying to focus on school and we've still plenty of time to make plans, hehe.

Happygirl had a good suggestion with considering what's most important to you, and I'd take it a step further by recommending that you and your fiance have a discussion and make a list of the top few things you value the most and the things you don't really care about, and let everything else fall in between. After FH and I had this talk I felt a lot better. I realized that we didn't have to do everything and we've been focusing on the important stuff (to us) instead.

One more idea is to delegate! If people say they're so excited for X, tell them "That'd be wonderful but I really don't have time, would you like to help make X a reality?" Either they'll realize quickly how petty their request is, or they'll offer to help and then you have one less thing to worry about. Or, just ask relatives and friends if they can help with a project or task, especially if they have experience or skills at it. It will take a lot of pressure of you.

Good luck, and don't forget to take a deep breath every now and then.

Reply


auntofthebride Posts : 9,354 Registered: 4/2/06
Re: Wedding Planning May Be The Death of Me
Posted: Dec 3, 2009 1:04 PM Go to message in response to: NJ4Life

Dear NJ

"Now i had my wedding at a restaurant that had a banquet room, so the woman there helped me with everything"

Essentially, in such a case, the sales and catering manager at the hotel acts as a wedding planner. There's nothing wrong with that. They include her fee as part of your overall cost.

Reply

loveisjoy Posts : 85 Registered: 2/6/09
Re: Wedding Planning May Be The Death of Me
Posted: Dec 3, 2009 1:15 PM Go to message in response to: WoostaBride

Join THE CLUB....I am stressing a little myself, and I have a wedding planner. I think its all the questions people are asking, and right now I'm just trying to finish this semester of school. I'm thinking about wedding ideas, but I'm not thinking about them. So I know next week when my semester is over, I will get more questions. I thank GOD for my wedding planner, because she sees my vision, and anything I tell her I want, when she shows me a picture its what I want or MORE....But breath, get a wedding planner it will make your life easier. GOOD LUCK

Reply


EWF Posts : 158 Registered: 7/16/09
Re: Wedding Planning May Be The Death of Me
Posted: Dec 3, 2009 6:34 PM Go to message in response to: WoostaBride

if you can afford it, get the wedding planner! i have one and this has been a very enjoyable experience for me. i haven't felt stressed out at all... no one can believe that i am getting married in a few months because i am so calm! if you are still stressed with a wedding planner, you need to remember to let them do their job, they are there to help you and take care of all of the little details, they will even negotiate contracts for you so you don't have to worry about any of that!

but, even with a wedding planner, just because some distant aunt or whoever is telling you that you NEED something, you don't! do and have exactly what you want. you don't HAVE to have favors or welcome baskets.

 

 

Proud Member of P.O.O.P - People Offended by Offended People

Reply


mrscreamer2be Posts : 153 Registered: 6/14/09
Re: Wedding Planning May Be The Death of Me
Posted: Dec 3, 2009 6:47 PM Go to message in response to: WoostaBride

I agree with everyone else. I thought "Wow how wonderful it will all be". No. Not! My fsil was asking me questions about the style and flavor of the cake. Our wedding is less than 4 months away. I don't really care about the cake! I'm trying to get everything else done. Including still saving money! Nonetheless I'm very excited and not really stressing anymore.

Reply


FrancieElaine Posts : 654 Registered: 6/26/09
Re: Wedding Planning May Be The Death of Me
Posted: Dec 3, 2009 7:03 PM Go to message in response to: WoostaBride

What you are feeling is totally normal... and you are not alone. Most brides feel the same way! I think hiring a wedding planner is a great idea. There are so many things you can do to help ease the stress. Please take care of yourself during this important time. It is the most important time of your life and it will be meaningful and wonderful... if you don't freak out. :)

Hang in there girl.

Francie Elaine, The Bride Whisperer

www.bride-whisperer.com

http://twitter.com/BrideWhispering

http://bridewhisperer.blogspot.com  

 

Reply


SoontobeMrsGlover Posts : 79 Registered: 9/14/09
Re: Wedding Planning May Be The Death of Me
Posted: Dec 3, 2009 7:27 PM Go to message in response to: FrancieElaine

Oh my GOD, I am right there with you! I really enjoy the creative part of it... sometimes. I'm stressing and I DO have a wedding planner. She helps me organize everything and ensures that I'm not forgetting any important details, but of course all the decisions fall on me so it can be very stressful.

But seriously, I think I'm missing the "bride gene." I'm just not one of those brides that care about every little frickin detail. Of course, I want it to be nice and I'd like to have elements that reflect me and my fiance. But do I really care what shade of pink my napkins are or how many flowers are in each table setting? Not really.

There, I said it. Thanks ladies

Reply
RSS

Thank You
for Signing Up!

Check your e-mail inbox for the latest updates from brides.com

Give a Subscription to Brides Magazine as a Gift
Subscribe to Brides magazine