Mother of the Bride /Mother of the Groom - dress etiquette

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Patpeg23 Posts : 1 Registered: 11/26/09
Mother of the Bride /Mother of the Groom - dress etiquette
Posted: Nov 26, 2009 7:38 AM

After selecting my Mother of the Bride dress, the mother of the groom was informed regarding the color, length and fabric of the dress. When she asked for the name of the designer, that information was given to her as well. I later learned that she went to the shop where I purchased my dress in order to actually see my dress. I am upset. Was it improper on her part for doing this?

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CatStandish Posts : 2,766 Registered: 6/20/08
Re: Mother of the Bride /Mother of the Groom - dress etiquette
Posted: Nov 26, 2009 8:48 AM Go to message in response to: Patpeg23

Why would it be improper? I think you're reading more into it than you should. Did she BUY your dress or just look at it?

Here are reasons why she might have done so:

1. Make sure that whatever dress she bought was different -- even if she didn't buy YOUR dress, she might inadvertantly buy one that is similar. She didn't want to do that. There are some dresses that are kinda generic in design, so to speak, and similarities ensue between different designers

2. Make sure that whatever dress she bought was complimentary to your dress. In order to do that, she needed to see what yours looked like.

3. She wanted to see, in person, the level of formality of your dress so that she could take a que from it and get one at that SAME level of formality. She didn't want to go too casual, and she also didn't want to get a dress that was more blingerific than yours.

You're not the bride. Your dress is not a State Secret.

I have no doubt this woman asked so many questions because she wanted to make sure the dress she coordinated/complimented your own, rather than paling beside it or making yours pale besides hers. You've got no reason to be offended by her showing that courtesy.

Misty

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bride4life Posts : 499 Registered: 3/28/06
Re: Mother of the Bride /Mother of the Groom - dress etiquette
Posted: Nov 26, 2009 9:29 AM Go to message in response to: CatStandish

I don't think it was improper for her to do this. She probably is just planning her attire. The bride is the only one who usually keeps her dress under wraps.

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auntofthebride Posts : 9,354 Registered: 4/2/06
Re: Mother of the Bride /Mother of the Groom - dress etiquette
Posted: Nov 26, 2009 12:24 PM Go to message in response to: Patpeg23

Dear Pat,

That wouldn't necessarily bother me.

Why not call her up on the phone and ask her about it? If her story rings true, then great. If not, then know you need to tread carefully.

Unless she shows up in the exact same dress, I wouldn't worry about it.

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Bride2008 Posts : 3,058 Registered: 3/28/06
Re: Mother of the Bride /Mother of the Groom - dress etiquette
Posted: Nov 26, 2009 12:24 PM Go to message in response to: Patpeg23

No, it wasn't improper at all. My MIL asked for the details of my mother's dress. She wanted to make sure she wore something different and that they both looked unique. Wouldn't you be more upset if she didn't see it and ended up with something very similar?

 

 

P.O.O.P.E.R. - People Offended by Offended People Executive Recruiter

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ArtBride Posts : 4,838 Registered: 5/9/07
Re: Mother of the Bride /Mother of the Groom - dress etiquette
Posted: Nov 27, 2009 8:25 AM Go to message in response to: Patpeg23

No, that's not improper. As others have mentioned, she probably just wanted to see the dress in person so that she could chose something with the same level of formality. My MIL asked to see a photo of my mom's dress so that she could chose something on the same level of formality, yet different and unique. Imagine if you both showed up in the same dress, having not compared notes!

DaisypathWedding Ticker

Vice President and Guardian of the Toilet Brush of POOP: People Offended by Offended People

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