Married 10-17; definitely wasn't "my" day

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MonaLisaRoyaleB... Posts : 79 Registered: 5/1/09
Married 10-17; definitely wasn't "my" day
Posted: Nov 17, 2009 11:03 AM

First of all; to give some prior info... planning our wedding was hard, my FMIL was receiving cancer treatments and she and I were very very close; we got married on her birthday 10-17-09 and she made it to the wedding. After we were pronounced man/wife we had everyone sing happy birthday to her. She looked beautiful and was crying, you knew she was in pain.

Anyway-- starting out on the wedding day; my bridal party which consisted of 2 people decided that they did not want to dress me!!! Said at the hotel that they couldnt do it that they didnt have the slightest clue on how.. They went to all of my fittings, and knew that they were suppose to dress me. I had a maggie sotter; mona lisa dress, which is a BIG dress.. So I actually called one of the groomsmen to help me (he and I are best friends) so he and I basically dressed myself. The dress ended up not fitting the way it should have, because let's face it; he is a guy and had no clue what he was doing. I have no idea what the girls were doing in the room because I was trying to help him.. So the back of the dress did not get laced up properly and my chest was basically hanging out the entire evening.

Ceremony went well; except for the fact that the officiant said we were married in the state of Missouri-- we were married in Kansas.. he also said - you may now kiss the bride.. So we just kind of looked at eachother and kissed anyway.. Other than those 2 things, ceremony was fine. We had all of the guests sing happy birthday to his mother which caused both of us to be sobbing as we walked back down the aisle because she was so sick.

Bustle; again the 2 in my bridal party went to all of my fittings and knew that they were suppose to know how to tie up my dress. The bridal shop, my mom and myself even told them at the fittings, please make sure you really watch.. Well they "tied" the bustle for me and I had no clue that the entire night the dress was only half tied up and was dragging on the floor. the dress was BLACK underneath; I realized this when I saw pictures from someone that it was dragging all night!

Toast; the best man (who knew he was suppose to do one didn't) the groomsman who helped dress me who is my best friend gave the best toast he could have done and even cried because our friendship is so strong. My bridesmaid gave a toast.

Cake; I had asked a friend of mine aprox a year ago if she knew how to cut a wedding cake and if she could cut ours.. Said of course, she had cut wedding cakes before and would be honored.. well it was a disaster! She had no idea how to cut a wedding cake; I knew how to cut one and was trying to help her and so she yelled at me because I wasnt suppose to be helping her! So it was her, my mom and another guest who is a great friend cut the cake; had tons of cake left over because they didnt know how to do it and people didnt want to stand in line for cake. Mom ended up with cake all over her dress.

Reception/MOH; we had some family members who cause problems for us and were told that they were not invited and not welcome to attend because of how they have treated myself in the past. Well they showed up and of course acted like they had every right to be there at our wedding! My MOH walked around with their babies in her arms all night and introduced their children to everyone saying that they were my new relation... She knows the drama and past with these people and knows how my new hubby and I feel about this. When asked to please give the kids back to the parents; she walked away from me and has now sent me horrible emails telling me what a horrible person I am and how horrible I treated her and them at the wedding!

I haven't gotten any of the wedding pictures from my photographer; I have heard that her computer crashed 3 times and she will get them online in 2 days... I am NOT looking forward to the pictures anyway because I really don't want to see myself in this dress because of how it was put on me. I did get some pictures after begging my photographer of my MIL.

So a quick run through.. married on 10-17; went out of town on 10-24, came home on 10-26. My mother in law was rushed to the hospital on the 10-27th and passed away on 10-31. We live with his parents and I helped to care for my mother in law. This has been so hard on all of us, we didnt feel like we could get excited when planning because we were afraid that she might not make it to the wedding and then she did and now we have lost her.

My dress has come clean and I am thinking in a couple years maybe have a vow renewal; just the two of us in Colorado (where we originally wanted)

WOW.. that was a LOT.. anyone else have any problems on their day????

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brownegirl Posts : 523 Registered: 10/14/08
Re: Married 10-17; definitely wasn't "my" day
Posted: Nov 17, 2009 11:32 AM Go to message in response to: MonaLisaRoyaleB...

Mona, It seems like you had a rough time of it. I am sorry that things didn't go as planned and that your FMIL passed away so soon but it really says something about you and your DH that you shared the limelight on "your" day. The most important thing is that you and your DH are married and it seems to me that you guys have a solid foundation.

That which does not kill us, only makes us stronger. Innocent

Proud Member of P.O.O.P - People Offended by Offended People


Bride2008 Posts : 3,058 Registered: 3/28/06
Re: Married 10-17; definitely wasn't "my" day
Posted: Nov 17, 2009 11:38 AM Go to message in response to: MonaLisaRoyaleB...

I definitely has stuff that went wrong at my wedding. I dressed myself too for the most part, someone just zipped the gown. I dropped my engagement ring at the alter, the priest read the wrong Gospel, some of my guests ate garnish off their plates and then when they got threw up blamed it on the food, etc. The bottom of my dress was black even though it got bustled - something I think is pretty unavoidable.

I understand it was less than ideal, but focus on the good stuff. You married a wonderful man and his mother was able to celebrate with you.

P.O.O.P.E.R. - People Offended by Offended People Executive Recruiter

Edited by: Bride2008 on Nov 17, 2009 11:43 AM


CheetahAngel Posts : 2,017 Registered: 11/29/08
Re: Married 10-17; definitely wasn't "my" day
Posted: Nov 17, 2009 11:58 AM Go to message in response to: MonaLisaRoyaleB...

That's awful that those things happened to you but you are happy that you married your man right? Try to focus on the good stuff that happened. The important thing is that you two are happily married.

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MonaLisaRoyaleB... Posts : 79 Registered: 5/1/09
Re: Married 10-17; definitely wasn't "my" day
Posted: Nov 17, 2009 12:37 PM Go to message in response to: CheetahAngel

Oh yes, my new hubby and I are just so very thankful that his mom was able to celebrate with us. It was very important that we somehow incorporated her birthday into the wedding, so right after we were pronounced as husband/wife the officiant who had met his mom while she was sick said that the new married couple have their first favor to ask of all the friends and family, and that it was her birthday and we wanted everyone to join in singing happy birthday, It was a surprise to her, the only people that knew what was going to happen was his dad and my parents and wedding party, We definitely wanted to surprise her. It was the great, I also had gotten 2 sets of champagne toasting flutes for our parents, and when he opened the champagne bottle, I had him fill our parent's glasses and then ours and we toasted. I wanted to bring our parents into the celebration as much as we could!
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MrsMcDAtLast Posts : 860 Registered: 1/1/07
Re: Married 10-17; definitely wasn't "my" day
Posted: Nov 17, 2009 1:24 PM Go to message in response to: MonaLisaRoyaleB...

That is really awesome that you included your MIL's birthday in your wedding day. I am really glad she was able to see you two get married. I am so sorry for your and your DH's loss.

I'm so sorry that so much went wrong at the wedding! I feel your pain; there were lots of things that didn't go as they were supposed to at my wedding as well. Something that might help you to know, though, that even though I looked back at my wedding and was irritated at all that went as it wasn't supposed to, when I look at my wedding photos, I still feel happy. If there were moments that did go well, remember those, and remember that you and DH got the end result you went there for: you are now husband and wife!

I also think renewing your vows in the future where you wanted to get married is a great idea; my hubby and I have talked about doing the same thing! :)


Kimberly212 Posts : 972 Registered: 9/12/12
Re: Married 10-17; definitely wasn't "my" day
Posted: Sep 24, 2012 9:07 PM Go to message in response to: MonaLisaRoyaleB...

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