Does anyone else deal with this?

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NJ4Life Posts : 3,358 Registered: 8/10/07
Re: Does anyone else deal with this?
Posted: Nov 2, 2009 10:47 AM Go to message in response to: BirdLover

Well actually of our local friends, no one has kids. These friends are about 2.5 hrs away, as well as the rest of the couples with kids. So it's not like they can't hang out with us anymore b/c we don't see them often anyway. I think I was just more peeved that she stopped talking to me, or so it seemed.

Its funny b/c when DH and I talk about kids, one of our only hangups is that we'd be the first ones of our local, see-each-other-every-weekend friends. So we really have to sit and think, do we want to give up our social lives for a little while? Especiallly knowing no one else is? However, I do feel like those friends are true friends and wouldn't drop us. And I think I am WAAAY too social to let something like kids come between friendships. I have plenty to talk about other than babies!

But I also think this is something you don't find out about yourself til you are a mom! Who knows how I wil turn out! I could be a looney deep inside.

New Jersey: We have dumps, bays and cement boots and we know how to use 'em

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08divabride Posts : 831 Registered: 11/17/07
Re: Does anyone else deal with this?
Posted: Nov 2, 2009 12:08 PM Go to message in response to: NJ4Life

NJ coming from a new mommy, I personally need balance. I talk to my friends that have kids and don't. It works for me because honestly, there are nights and days where I want to hang out and not have all conversations about my daughter. Then there are times I can't wait to share stories with my friends that have kids and can really relate.


Some people really unintentionally drift away, and I'm sorry you are especially feeling it!

 Lilypie - (8e8A)

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BirdLover Posts : 2,834 Registered: 3/30/06
Re: Does anyone else deal with this?
Posted: Nov 4, 2009 2:33 PM Go to message in response to: NJ4Life

NJ - I definitely wouldn't make your decision about having kids based on whether you would be the first ones in your social circle to have them or not :P But it's definitely good to think abotu whether or not you are ready to give up some socializing when you have kids.

You do need to get out as a parent. But hanging out with friends, say, four nights a week while leaving you kid with a sitter isn't the greatest idea. I think it's really hard to decide when it a right time! I think no one ever feels ready to have a child, but it's more when you know that you are ready to be a MOTHER (or father) that let's you know it's time. If that makes sense.

I would have been one of the first people in my social circles to have kids, but then a bunch of us ended up getting pregnant right around the same time!
Lilypie 1st Birthday Ticker

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DoesntPlayNice Posts : 809 Registered: 12/17/08
Re: Does anyone else deal with this?
Posted: Nov 4, 2009 3:22 PM Go to message in response to: BirdLover

I didn't read all the posts but I wanted to say I have the best of both worlds (sort of) I have a 7 year old daughter but she goes on visitation with her Dad almost every weekend. So during the week I am in Mommy mode and on the weekends I am free.

This is the thing that annoys me about pregnant women (and newly weds/engaged) their worlds revolve around their child/fiance/husband. For example: my sister posts on facebook every freaking hour something like "I can't wait to see hubby" "hubby and me went to blah blha blah" me and hubby did this me and hubby did that, I love hubby. Also me and kid are doing this me and kid are doing that blah blah blah. its like STFU!

I have both a husband AND a child, but I also have a life. I do talk about them but not on a constant basis. Its likely that said friend doesnt want to talk to others that are not in the EXACT same situation because they know how damn annoying it is.

I think yall would like these websites...I love them and submit my sisters stuff to them all the time.

http://stfumarrieds.tumblr.com/

http://stfuparents.tumblr.com/


Previously Posted as Military Bride.

CEO of E.N.E.M.A. (Enemy Negotiations & Extraction Military Agency) A special Division of P.O.O.P. (People Offended by Offended People)

When POOP can't do it alone....they call for the ENEMA.



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BirdLover Posts : 2,834 Registered: 3/30/06
Re: Does anyone else deal with this?
Posted: Nov 10, 2009 3:27 AM Go to message in response to: DoesntPlayNice

DPN - it annoys you that peoples lives revolve around their kids or husbands? Really? I can't think of a better way for their world to rotate.

I get what you are saying that people need to have a life away from these things as well ,but it's perfectly understandable for a pregnant woman/new mom to have only her child on her mind, or for a newly wed to have only her husband on her mind. It's normal.
Lilypie 1st Birthday Ticker

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DoesntPlayNice Posts : 809 Registered: 12/17/08
Re: Does anyone else deal with this?
Posted: Nov 10, 2009 8:21 AM Go to message in response to: BirdLover

Yes it annoys me when that is all they ever talk about. You can't have a conversation about anything else other than what THEY want to talk about. My sister's husband is gone for 2 weeks of training and all I hear is "I wish Tyler would call" "Waiting by the phone just in case Tyler calls" blah blah blah. He has only been gone for a week! He will be leaving on deployment soon and I am not looking forward to her hourly updates about how much she misses him. I got it the first 12 times she posted it.

I mean I have a husband AND a child and I can find other things to talk about than JUST them.

Previously Posted as Military Bride.

CEO of E.N.E.M.A. (Enemy Negotiations & Extraction Military Agency) A special Division of P.O.O.P. (People Offended by Offended People)

When POOP can't do it alone....they call for the ENEMA.



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BirdLover Posts : 2,834 Registered: 3/30/06
Re: Does anyone else deal with this?
Posted: Nov 16, 2009 2:41 AM Go to message in response to: DoesntPlayNice

Oh yes. Well that would be annoying.

There is nothing wrong with having your world revolve around your child or significant other ("revolve" in the healthy sense, not the "I'd kill myself without him" sense). But yeah, you have to realize that other people don't want to hear about the same thing all the time.
Lilypie 1st Birthday Ticker

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jackson132 Posts : 1,623 Registered: 9/13/12
Re: Does anyone else deal with this?
Posted: Dec 6, 2012 7:50 PM Go to message in response to: NJ4Life

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