Guest Attire

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alohakc Posts : 6 Registered: 10/29/09
Guest Attire
Posted: Oct 29, 2009 12:30 AM

Ok, so we are planning a destination wedding in Hawaii!! My fiance's family is much more formal but will know how to dress for an outdoor wedding and reception. As much as I love and adore my family, they are usually underdressed for regular weddings nevermind a destination wedding. I don't expect ball gowns or formal wear but how do I convey no shorts or polo shorts? There is black tie for formal but what is there for casual but still nice?? Help!

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MaunaLaniBride Posts : 631 Registered: 3/31/06
Re: Guest Attire
Posted: Oct 29, 2009 1:21 AM Go to message in response to: alohakc

On our Hawaiian wedding invites, we put "Resort/Aloha Attire"

And then to clarify that, on the flyer we sent out to guests that had RSVPed "yes," we made this little note:

Wedding attire: We've received quite a few questions regarding what to wear for the big event. Think - island chic......elegant tropical......dressy casual (an oxymoron?).

In a nut shell: Leave the ties and pantyhose at home but it's not a pool party either, so please no shorts or swimsuits.


Knot planning bio:  http://tinyurl.com/y9p6ky2

Knot married bio: http://tinyurl.com/ydyp4kx

 

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ArtBride Posts : 4,838 Registered: 5/9/07
Re: Guest Attire
Posted: Oct 29, 2009 1:11 PM Go to message in response to: alohakc

Someone who doesn't know how to dress for a semiformal occasion back at home isn't going to read 'Resort Attire' and know what that means.

Given that DWs are generally small, I'm going to assume that you're talking about your immediate family. My advice is to have a talk with select family members (who have some degree of control over others clothing - like your mom, who can then instruct your brother as to what is appropriate) and explain the type of dress you're envisioning and what is appropriate. IMO, that would be far more effective for a small group than it would be to put some fairly ambiguous-sounding dress code on your invitations that the chronically under-dressed will most likely ignore, anyway.

DaisypathWedding Ticker

Vice President and Guardian of the Toilet Brush of POOP: People Offended by Offended People

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SoontobeMrsGlover Posts : 79 Registered: 9/14/09
Re: Guest Attire
Posted: Oct 29, 2009 3:13 PM Go to message in response to: ArtBride




I too am having a
destination wedding in Hawaii.
I think for the most part people still understand that it is a wedding and will
dress acoordingly. However, I fully expect there to be those few people ( I
have them in my family too) who are in vacation mode to show up in shorts and
flip flops, and although its not ideal... who cares? Its Hawaii! :) I'm just going to roll with the punches
that day. Part of the reason we chose a DW is to alleviate some of those mundane stresses. Unless someone shows up wearing all white with a veil, I doubt I'll even notice what people are wearing. :)


Edited by: SoontobeMrsGlover on Oct 29, 2009 3:15 PM

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auntofthebride Posts : 9,354 Registered: 4/2/06
Re: Guest Attire
Posted: Oct 29, 2009 3:50 PM Go to message in response to: alohakc

Dear Aloha,

The word you are looking for is "smart casual".

Put that on your wedding invitation.

Because you know there are people who are too dense to figure that out, ask your mother or sister to quietly spread the word.

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alohakc Posts : 6 Registered: 10/29/09
Re: Guest Attire
Posted: Oct 29, 2009 5:51 PM Go to message in response to: SoontobeMrsGlover

Where in Hawaii are you getting married? I'm debating between Oahu and Maui. We are going to look at places next month. So excited!

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alohakc Posts : 6 Registered: 10/29/09
Re: Guest Attire
Posted: Oct 29, 2009 5:53 PM Go to message in response to: auntofthebride

Thanks for the input. It's actually my aunts and uncles that worry me the most. I can always tell my mom and siblings. I love them for who they are regardless and am honored for them to travel all the way to Hawaii. However, I don't want them to feel out of place when everyone else is dressed up. I think I worry too much! :)

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SoontobeMrsGlover Posts : 79 Registered: 9/14/09
Re: Guest Attire
Posted: Oct 29, 2009 6:05 PM Go to message in response to: alohakc

I'm getting married in Maui. We also debated about whether or not we should get married in Maui or Oahu. You can't go wrong with either. We chose against Oahu becuase we live in Southern California and the Waikiki area reminds us a lot of Los Angeles. And yes, I know there are many many beautiful places away from Waikiki, but we had to narrow it down some how. :)

And on top of that, many of our guests who will be attending our wedding have already been to Oahu so we thought since it will be a major vacation for most of then, it would be cool to let them see a different island. Hope that helps, and again either island will be absolutely gorgeous!

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MaunaLaniBride Posts : 631 Registered: 3/31/06
Re: Guest Attire
Posted: Oct 29, 2009 10:10 PM Go to message in response to: ArtBride

Well, they may not know what "resort attire" is but at least it may get them thinking. A simple Google search for "resort attire" will provide a definition of what it is.

We had one person show up in jeans but it was a single friend of DH's that had slept in his car the night before (he didn't want to get a hotel room, he flew from Oahu to the Big Island) so I don't think anything would have persuaded him to wear anything but jeans. Guess what? It didn't ruin my day :)

Good luck!

Knot planning bio:  http://tinyurl.com/y9p6ky2

Knot married bio: http://tinyurl.com/ydyp4kx

 

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