Wedding question

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Lilmisssouthern... Posts : 658 Registered: 8/12/08
Wedding question
Posted: Oct 6, 2009 9:14 AM

I have been invited to a wedding in November. I want to know if it is ok to wear a black dress to an evening wedding in a Mansion. From what I have been told the wedding is pretty formal so I just want to make sure that I am not going to be dressed inappropriately.


As we grow older, as we continue to change with age, there is one thing that will never change about me, I will keep falling in love with you all over again every single day

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ArtBride Posts : 4,838 Registered: 5/9/07
Re: Wedding question
Posted: Oct 6, 2009 9:22 AM Go to message in response to: Lilmisssouthern...

That sounds fine to me.

I went to a pretty formal wedding last weekend at a mansion and wore a knee-length red silk dress. Most of the other guests were dressed similarly - in fact, I think I was on the more formal end of the spectrum (but there were a lot of really young guests at this wedding). Even though it was a pretty formal setting, nobody was wearing evening gowns or anything.

I should mention that there weren't any dress code instructions for this wedding. If your invitation says black tie, I might consider getting something floor-length.

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Lilmisssouthern... Posts : 658 Registered: 8/12/08
Re: Wedding question
Posted: Oct 6, 2009 9:38 AM Go to message in response to: ArtBride

I can't decipher between whether or not a shorter dress or longer dress is more appropriate. I don't want to wear a floor length dress and then be the only one... but it is at the end of November....

As we grow older, as we continue to change with age, there is one thing that will never change about me, I will keep falling in love with you all over again every single day

Executive Recruiter and Quality Control Specialist of E.N.E.M.A A special division of P.O.O.P

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Jean Posts : 101 Registered: 3/28/06
Re: Wedding question
Posted: Oct 6, 2009 9:41 AM Go to message in response to: Lilmisssouthern...

Wearaing black to a wedding ins't the fashion faux pas it once was. As long as the dress is appropriate for the event you should be fine.

The rule about not wearing white to a wedding (unless you're the bride, of course) is still regularly followed, although I must admit that I personally don't believe in such strict adherance. I mean, as long as the dress doesn't look like a wedding gown, why would anyone think that this would take away from the bride? Eyes are not going to be on the guest. I have had weddings where a guest or two wore white, and they DID NOT take away from the bride.

Jean

www.weddingsfromtheheart.net

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FrancieElaine Posts : 654 Registered: 6/26/09
Re: Wedding question
Posted: Oct 6, 2009 9:56 AM Go to message in response to: Lilmisssouthern...

Black dresses are fine for weddings, especially an evening formal. You may want to add some color in there with a pair of pretty shoes to add a more festive look. Have fun!

Francie Elaine, The Bride Whisperer

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auntofthebride Posts : 9,354 Registered: 4/2/06
Re: Wedding question
Posted: Oct 6, 2009 11:04 AM Go to message in response to: Lilmisssouthern...

Dear Shannon,

Well, guess what, I am of the Old Traditional School that does not think that all white nor all black are appropriate for weddings. Sure, many will say "throw the rule out the window", but I like rules and that is one of many rules I follow.

One very practical reason is that if I wear all white or all black, there will be those who say "She must not have had anything else to wear, poor woman.". Well, I've got an entire closet full of clothes in various colors so I pick one of those for a wedding and save the all white or all black for another occasion.

If the black dress is truly the only thing you have that's formal enough, understandable when one is one one's early 20s and doesn't have a ton of money for clothes, then accessorize the heck out of it with fire engine red, hot pink or bright blue. Can you wear a jacket? Bright colored necklace? Bracelet? Earrings? Scarf?

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auntofthebride Posts : 9,354 Registered: 4/2/06
Re: Wedding question
Posted: Oct 6, 2009 11:06 AM Go to message in response to: Lilmisssouthern...

Dear Shannon,

"I can't decipher between whether or not a shorter dress or longer dress is more appropriate."

At your age, I'd wear a shorter dress, probably calf length. Young ladies your age have great looking legs and you ought to show them off! Longer dresses are for older women with varicose veins, etc.

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ArtBride Posts : 4,838 Registered: 5/9/07
Re: Wedding question
Posted: Oct 6, 2009 12:06 PM Go to message in response to: auntofthebride

One very practical reason is that if I wear all white or all black, there will be those who say "She must not have had anything else to wear, poor woman.". Well, I've got an entire closet full of clothes in various colors so I pick one of those for a wedding and save the all white or all black for another occasion.

If the black dress is truly the only thing you have that's formal enough, understandable when one is one one's early 20s and doesn't have a ton of money for clothes, then accessorize the heck out of it with fire engine red, hot pink or bright blue. Can you wear a jacket? Bright colored necklace? Bracelet? Earrings? Scarf?

Really? I know we come from different generations, but I'd never think that a woman wearing all black or all white doesn't have anything else to wear! I wouldn't think anything of it, as I wear monocolor outfits to formal events all the time. I hope people don't think I don't have anything else to wear...I just don't like prints!

Drm, I wouldn't have any problem with the color at all. As for the length, I agree with AOTB that mid-calf (or knee-length) is a good length for either a formal or semi-formal event. I wouldn't go too short or too long.

As for the accessorizing that AOTB mentioned, I guess it's a matter of your taste....but I don't think brightly colored accessories are necessary with a black dress. I'd probably wear whatever I'd normally wear to a formal event. For me, that would be pearls (artsy style, not traditional) or my favorite fire opal jewelry. I also have some neat black beaded jewelry that looks great with a black dress. So I don't think it's necessary to over-accessorize, and with all due respect to AOTB, I doubt that anyone under 50 would think twice over seeing you in a formal black dress.

DaisypathWedding Ticker

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Lilmisssouthern... Posts : 658 Registered: 8/12/08
Re: Wedding question
Posted: Oct 6, 2009 12:13 PM Go to message in response to: ArtBride

Well I thank you ladies for the debate. I think and while i have plenty of clothes to wear I think that some things are more formal and fitting than others I am going to go ahead and wear the balck dress with some pink shoes. Or something of the sort. the dress will most likely be calf length so that it can be used again and it works for any occasion.

As we grow older, as we continue to change with age, there is one thing that will never change about me, I will keep falling in love with you all over again every single day

Executive Recruiter and Quality Control Specialist of E.N.E.M.A A special division of P.O.O.P

http://www.mywedding.com/shannonandbrandon<magicalkingdoms.com Ticker
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myra Posts : 5,550 Registered: 3/28/06
Re: Wedding question
Posted: Oct 6, 2009 12:36 PM Go to message in response to: Lilmisssouthern...

In my social circle, black is fine for weddings--in fact, it's what most people wear.As far as formality goes, short dresses are more and more "in" for dressy affairs. Yours sounds just fine.
myra at www.classysassyweddings.com

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auntofthebride Posts : 9,354 Registered: 4/2/06
Re: Wedding question
Posted: Oct 6, 2009 11:45 PM Go to message in response to: ArtBride

dear AB,

"Really? I know we come from different generations, but I'd never think that a woman wearing all black or all white doesn't have anything else to wear! I wouldn't think anything of it, as I wear monocolor outfits to formal events all the time. I hope people don't think I don't have anything else to wear...I just don't like prints! "

It isn't the monocolor aspect, it's the all black or all white. Monocolor pink would be fine. Oddly enough, I think a black and white print would be fine for a wedding. That's why I am writing "all black or all white". In my younger years, I had a black and white plaid outfit that was really great. I loved wearing it until it wore out. I still miss it. I felt like a million bucks wearing it, and it fit me perfectly. Sigh.

Yeah, I know that it's really OK to wear all black or all white to a wedding. What a person wears is their business. What I wear is my business. When choosing a dress to wear to a wedding, I am more likely to go with lavender or pink than white or black. It's my preference for myself, and my reasoning is explained earlier.

So what if the reasoning is faulty? It works for me! I'm not going to have a good time if I sit there all evening and a voice in my head says "People think you only own one dress." I would be self-conscious. Why put myself through that self-doubt if I can easily avoid it?

Besides, I look great in pastels. Love 'em.

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FrancieElaine Posts : 654 Registered: 6/26/09
Re: Wedding question
Posted: Oct 7, 2009 9:01 AM Go to message in response to: Lilmisssouthern...

I did a bridal show in August and wore a black dress with the most beautiful pink shoes in the entire world. I wore pink pearls and I was looking HOT! haha! I got lots of compliments on my outfit. I think you will look beautiful!

Francie Elaine, The Bride Whisperer

www.bride-whisperer.com

http://twitter.com/BrideWhispering

http://bridewhisperer.blogspot.com  

 

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Lilmisssouthern... Posts : 658 Registered: 8/12/08
Re: Wedding question
Posted: Oct 7, 2009 9:05 AM Go to message in response to: FrancieElaine

Thanks Francie, I have a few dresses i am considering but... I may just go buy a new one to have some retail therapy from my recent issues

As we grow older, as we continue to change with age, there is one thing that will never change about me, I will keep falling in love with you all over again every single day

Executive Recruiter and Quality Control Specialist of E.N.E.M.A A special division of P.O.O.P

http://www.mywedding.com/shannonandbrandon<magicalkingdoms.com Ticker
Free Disney Tickers

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