I'm so confused...LOL!

Online Users: 1,269 guest(s), 0 user(s). Replies: 8

ERC Posts : 3 Registered: 9/25/09
I'm so confused...LOL!
Posted: Sep 25, 2009 1:20 AM

Hi, my name is chelsea. I'm new to this but, I just wanted to be able to talk to other brides-to-be and ask some questions. I am pretty young to be a bride and this whole wedding business i find to be very confusing and stressful at times. I really don't have a whole lot of money and my parents are paying for most of the wedding. I'm not exactly sure how everything is supposed to go. I need a wedding planner but can't afford one. Any ideas?? Pls. give me advice, i am a very open person...


klmhek Posts : 27 Registered: 9/23/09
Re: I'm so confused...LOL!
Posted: Sep 25, 2009 8:52 AM Go to message in response to: ERC

Hi! I'm also a young bride. I'm 20, but will be 21 when we get married. Its very easy to get overwhelmed I've gotten alot of good advice from people since I've been engaged on where to start. You DONT have to have a wedding planner. Although they are good to have for elaborate weddings, they are expensive and alot of times unnecessary. I would pick a good mistress of ceremonies instead.

I got a 3 ring binder (which I already had.. didn't even want to waste the money to go out and buy one) and placed dividers in it. When I have extra time I go through any bridal magazines (IMO a very good investment) and tear out anything that I like. If I see a wedding dress I love, I hole punch the page and stick it in my "wedding dresses" divider. I've even gotten blank pieces of paper to make a "collage" on. If I see a picture of a bouquet that I like on a page among a million other things, I'll cut the bouquet out and paste it on this piece of paper. Until I have an entire collage of bouquets on one piece of paper.

I have heard from many people who say it is especially helpful when you go to a vender, a florist for example, you can just show them your pictures and say "this is my inspiration.. i want something like this"

obviously this is just a starter.. i'm not too far in my planning so i can't give you any advice other than that, but i would just tell you to ENJOY IT! dont get stressed over the little stuff.. its your day, and although you want to take into consideration your fiance's, and your families thoughts and feelings.. sometimes you have to stop listening to "opinions" and do what you think is best!

Edited by: klmhek on Sep 25, 2009 8:54 AM


LoverForever Posts : 20 Registered: 8/24/08
Re: I'm so confused...LOL!
Posted: Sep 25, 2009 9:36 AM Go to message in response to: ERC


I am getting married this may as well and only 21 years old :-) the biggest questions you need to ask yourself first are

1. how many people will be on the guest list
2. do you have a church/ceremony site in mind
3. do you want to have your reception in a hall/hotel/outside and
4. what is a realistic budget for you and your family (or whoever is pitching in)

Also, consider what you want the "atmosphere" to be like. For example, for my wedding i wanted the overall feel to be simple and classy and a helluva lot of fun!
my FH and i decided to plan an outdoor twilight garden wedding in his parent's backyard because of our budget. we are saving for a house and i refused to pay more than $10,000 for a wedding (especially since we are paying for everything ourselves and 10K is a decent down payment on a house! lol)
Anyway, almost everything is taken care of at this point and we have only spent $6,900. :-) That being said, it IS possible to have the wedding of your dreams if you plan it out, budget and if you are willing to compromise (ie having meatballs and pasta instead of sushi and caviar)

Personally, for us one thing we COULD NOT compromise was the guest list. Almost every bridal site i went on told me that to save money just cut the guest list. well, easier said than done in our case. My FH's mom is one of 10 children aka tons of aunts, uncles and cousins. Annnd they all live local ,so we are close to everyone. Thankfully, my family is on the MUCH smaller side. But, with that being said we are still sending out approximately 165 invitations.

It's too bad you live so far from NJ i would LOVE to help you plan stuff. but i suppose the internet works just as well. I had the time of my life planning everything for the wedding-- dont hesitate to ask for any ideas/comment/ suggestions you may want or need.

I'm really excited for you! Take care :-)


Live, Love and Laugh


ERC Posts : 3 Registered: 9/25/09
Re: I'm so confused...LOL!
Posted: Sep 25, 2009 3:19 PM Go to message in response to: klmhek

Thank you guys sooo much!! The advice really helped a lot. Believe it or not, I am only 17. I will be 18 in March!! Me and my fiance have been engaged for a little over a year and a half. My family believes in younger marriages. Not that everyone in our family has to get married as soon as they turn 18, but we had known each other for 4 yrs. before we started to get serious. He is only 17 as well, and will also be 18 in March a couple of weeks b4 me. Both of our families are happy and excited for us but they make sure we are not rushing into too much too fast. I feel I am ready to get married. Our relationship is great on every level. And, I dont feel like it is just puppy love:^) LOL. The only thing that stumps me is the wedding planning. But, the advice that you gave me really helped me to not be soo stressed. Thanks bunches!!


SHC2010 Posts : 14 Registered: 7/29/09
Re: I'm so confused...LOL!
Posted: Sep 25, 2009 8:01 PM Go to message in response to: ERC

First off, congratulations on your engagement/upcoming wedding!!!

I'm planning on doing as much as I can myself. I have a notebook like some of the others have said. I keep pictures and random ideas I have for everything! I have sections on flowers, food, reception stuff, music, rings, WP gifts, photography, stationary, wedding licence info, vows...etc etc.

I've been using this checklist: http://www.theperfectweddingguide.com/bride_list.html
I took off some things and added a few more to customize it.

Here are a couple other ones you can check out: http://www.realsimple.com/holidays-entertaining/weddings/planning/wedding-planning-checklist-00000000000222/


I think the first things you should decide are where the wedding will be (church, parent's backyard, beach) and your budget. That will affect how big the wedding will be and how formal it will be.
Then google image search everything you can about weddings and collect pictures or invest in some bridal magazines. This will help you envision what you want and then see how you can do that within your budget. Do you have an aunt or older cousin who's into weddings? They may be able to help you make sure you're thinking of everything and give advice on which vendors to hire and what questions to ask them.
Also, write down all the ideas you have and any questions you have or things you want to look into so that you don't forget.
Let us know what ideas you have as far as size, theme, location and everything and ask all the questions you want on here. It's helped me alot to read people's questions and responses.
Looking forward to hearing your thoughts and assisting you if I can!



wedding ticker






BriansAzBride Posts : 326 Registered: 12/5/08
Re: I'm so confused...LOL!
Posted: Oct 1, 2009 3:03 PM Go to message in response to: SHC2010

Hey girls! You should come over the May 2010 brides forum! There a several brides on there and we can help you out! Bounce ideas around or even just talk!

About planning, I'm 20, 21 five days before the wedding, and I'm doing all the planning myself. The best thing that I did was buy a wedding planning book. I went to Barns and Noble and beelined for the wedding section. I glimpsed through a few of the planning book and then picked out one I liked. Three-ring binder with pockets and checklists and questionaires. I love it. I'm actually almost done planning thanks to my little planner.




 I feel like a kid. Pinch me. This kind of love certainly can't be real. Oh wait, it is :)


ERC Posts : 3 Registered: 9/25/09
Re: I'm so confused...LOL!
Posted: Oct 1, 2009 10:16 PM Go to message in response to: BriansAzBride

That is a really smart idea!! I never thought to buy a wedding planner... I was just coming up with new things as I go, trying to remember everything. DUH, I always overlook all the smart ideas...LOL. A wedding planner would help out a lot I think. Thanks for the ideas and help so far!! I have overlooking small things like that, that could really help out, instead of getting so darn stressed out over everything. So far, my wedding colors are Tangerine orange and Honeydew green (big fruit fan) LOL. We are having the wedding at a church, but we haven't picked the church yet. I am trying to design a wedding cake in my head, I have looked at some wedding cake designs on the internet and seen some on t.v. I love to watch that wedding cake show, I forgot what it is called, but it is where all they really do is make people wedding cakes. But, they have a short time period to do it. They make some really nice wedding cakes though. I have even done the wedding cakes designer on here. So far I have only found one cake that I really have just fell in love with, but I don't know how i would incorporate my wedding theme with it. I am still trying to figure that one out. The cakes is a three-tiered, round cake. It is white with white vines and red flowers. Attached to the side of it is this kind of waterfall/fountain with flower petals in it and candles floating on water. It is beautiful. I kind of think I want to get that one. Any suggestions on designs on it though?? I like the vines, but of course I don't want the same exact cake...It was someone elses.


NessaRae615 Posts : 675 Registered: 9/23/08
Re: I'm so confused...LOL!
Posted: Oct 2, 2009 2:44 PM Go to message in response to: ERC

Hello and congratulations!!

Wedding planning can be stressfull, so seek out all the help you can get!! All the girls on here have had great ideas!

I agree with Brians on the Wedding planner, I belive I had the same one as her. It has very useful information in it. Such as what to ask each vendor, and information on why to do something. I also love it is a binder, and has pockets. I am turning mine into a scrapbook showing all of my the planning I did and then how the day itself turned out.

Also your guest list will be the most imoportant thing you can come up with to star planning. Put together your list of everyone you want there, FH wants there, and both sets of parents. Go through and take off the duplicates, and see how many people you have. That will help you with your venue, catering, cake, and decorations/favors.

You said your getting married in a church, check lots of churches, and make sure to ask questions like not only how much it is, but what do they require to get married there. Some churches require at least either you or your FH be members there, that one or both of you are baptized, that you do their pre-maritial counciling. I even noticed some catholic churches will not marry you if one of you have had any mental health issues.

Don't stress to much about your cake right now, unless you really want it to be the center of attention in the recpetion. I didn't do my cake until just about last. I picked my colors, my site, my theme/feel, decorations, favors, food, and then cake. The cake incorporated a lot of everything else, so wait until you have some more solid plans to think about the cake.

Good luck, and don't hesitate to ask any questions you can't easily find the answers too!!



AshleyDominique Posts : 3 Registered: 11/12/09
Re: I'm so confused...LOL!
Posted: Nov 16, 2009 3:53 AM Go to message in response to: ERC

A wedding planning checklist will become your new best friend as you
progress through your wedding planning. It will be able to tell you
when you need to do something and what you need to do, as well as
giving you an overview of where you are at with your wedding

source: http://www.1weddingsource.com/wedding-planning-checklist/

my wedding planning checklist for my wedding planning
Edited by: AshleyDominique on Nov 16, 2009 3:54 AM

Edited by: AshleyDominique on Nov 16, 2009 4:12 AM


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