Bouquet/Garter Toss

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jellybean91908 Posts : 216 Registered: 2/9/09
Bouquet/Garter Toss
Posted: Sep 29, 2009 9:56 PM

Is anyone else planning to pass on the bouquet/garter toss or anyone who didn't do it at their reception? Why did you decide to pass? Was this "tradition" missed?

I'm not planning on doing either one because a) I hate going out for the bouquet toss when I go to weddings and b) FH gets embarassed really easily and isn't too fond of the garter toss idea.

I've been thinking, instead, doing an anniversary dance and giving the couple a special gift. I'm not sure if I'll use a bouquet or a floral arrangement or what. Any ideas?

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PharmToxGirl Posts : 5,446 Registered: 8/30/07
Re: Bouquet/Garter Toss
Posted: Sep 29, 2009 10:52 PM Go to message in response to: jellybean91908

We did the garter/bouquet toss AND the anniversary dance. It worked out well. But there are a LOT of brides that have foregone the bouquet/garter toss and it went great! I think Artbride was one of them - so hopefully she sees this.

We gave the 'winning' couple a nice bottle of wine.





kdigiamm Posts : 21 Registered: 9/9/09
Re: Bouquet/Garter Toss
Posted: Sep 29, 2009 11:02 PM Go to message in response to: jellybean91908

My FH and I have also decided to pass on the bouquet and garter toss. Really we both just found it inappropriate due to the fact that a lot of our guests are older family members. I found a blog that suggested bringing all the married couples out to dance and "eliminating" the newer couples little by little throughout a song, thus leaving the couple married the longest on the dance floor and giving them the bouquet. To my FH and I, we really just didn't find it a pressing issue to do either. Hopefully knowing someone else has also decided not to do these "traditions" will put you at ease a little bit. Maybe someone else will give us other suggestions, I know that the time set aside for those events is going to be filled with more dancing. I just don't want my guests to be over danced. Happy planning....

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myra Posts : 5,550 Registered: 3/28/06
Re: Bouquet/Garter Toss
Posted: Sep 29, 2009 11:20 PM Go to message in response to: kdigiamm

My daughter did neither the bouquet toss or the garter grope at her wedding. She did do the anniversary dance. Since this was six years ago, the anniversary dance was new to most of the guests and they really loved it. We knew ahead of time that the groom's grandparents (married 60+ years and still dancing!) would "win," and my daughter had a smaller version of her bouquet (also known as a "toss bouquet") ready for them. Many florists will do a toss bouquet just about for free as part of their wedding estimate. Oh, and nobody missed either the bouquet toss or garter grab.
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BirdLover Posts : 2,834 Registered: 3/30/06
Re: Bouquet/Garter Toss
Posted: Sep 30, 2009 1:35 AM Go to message in response to: myra

Myra, you are too funny. The "garter grope", lol. Whether you like it or hate it, you gotta admit that's what it is!

I did the bouquet toss, because I knew that I had a lot of single friends who thought it was fun. And no one was "forced" onto the floor to participate (I think that this is important).

We did not do the garter toss, as I did not feel comfortable having my husband up my dress with my family, friends, and coworkers watching. Gives me the heebee jeebees. And if you aren't comfortable doing that, well, then it just isn't fun.

P,S, I didn't toss my bouquet. I got a separate "toss bouquet", so that my real one could be given to my cancer-stricken Nana who was stuck at the nursing home the day of.
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CheetahAngel Posts : 2,017 Registered: 11/29/08
Re: Bouquet/Garter Toss
Posted: Sep 30, 2009 10:14 AM Go to message in response to: jellybean91908

Hi Jelly! I'm only doing the bouqet toss but I'm getting a separate one just for that. No way am I doing the garter toss!! My fh and HATE attention so that will go beyond our comfortable level lol.

I kinda wanted to do the anniversary dance but the thing is that with our families a lot of the older married folks have lost their spouses (my dad included) or gotten a divorce :( So there goes that idea. I wouldn't want those people to feel sad.

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Stephy77 Posts : 109 Registered: 9/2/08
Re: Bouquet/Garter Toss
Posted: Sep 30, 2009 12:06 PM Go to message in response to: CheetahAngel

I opted out of both and did the anniversary dance. Huge hit we got a lot of compliments on that. I am always uncomfortable during the garter & toss and thought this was a nice way to celebrate marriage.


dodgercpkl Posts : 130 Registered: 9/27/09
Re: Bouquet/Garter Toss
Posted: Sep 30, 2009 1:11 PM Go to message in response to: Stephy77

I'm not planning on doing either at my wedding either. As a pp said, I
really don't feel comfortable having my FH up my dress to get the
garter either. Neither did he want to do that in front of everyone.
Another reason is that we are having a fairly informal reception and
there will be no dance floor. Add in that most of my friends and family
are older and/or married already and it would feel too much like people
were being singled out. About all we are planning to have at the
reception is just a cozy place to eat and celebrate with about 50
friends and family with some music playing that my FH and I picked out,
have the cake cutting ceremony and first dance for my FH and I.


Toast Posts : 480 Registered: 9/10/08
Re: Bouquet/Garter Toss
Posted: Sep 30, 2009 4:42 PM Go to message in response to: dodgercpkl

we are still undecided about both options. we have considered both, and have reasons why we dont want to do both.

the garter/bouquet toss:
IF we have enough single guys and girls to do it, we will probably do it. I dont really want to be on display either, is not ALWAYS a grope fest. i have actually seen it done very tastefully. although, i have seen grooms use their teeth too! anywho, one of the main reasons i want to do it is because i got a NY Mets garter...which is mine and my fiances favorite baseball team. So, i think it would be great to see the look on his face when he sees it is his favorite team!

Also, my FSIL did the garter and bouquet, but they did not publically display the garter removal. she just removed it (in the bathroom) prior to the start of the tossing and she just tossed her bouquet, and he tossed the garter. so that is an idea as well.

the anniversary dance:
IF we are 100% sure that my fiances parents will NOT be the ones to "win" the dance and it doesnt bother my fiances mom then we will do it. My fiances dad passed away last year, and they were together for 33 years. so, there is a good possibility that they would have won, so as long as they would not be the ones to win, and it also doesnt his mom, we will probably do it


DNAmindy Posts : 47 Registered: 7/24/09
Re: Bouquet/Garter Toss
Posted: Sep 30, 2009 7:20 PM Go to message in response to: jellybean91908

At my aunt's wedding, her 15-year-old daughter (from another marriage) ended up catching the bouquet, and the man she married's father got the garther. So in essence, my teenage cousin's new grandpa put the garter on her. Just a tad awkward!

I'm not going to do a bouquet or garter toss at my wedding, but I don't mind when other people do them. I just choose not to be in the group fighting for the bouquet. It only really bothers me when my family members pretty much force me up there. "Go on Mindy! You HAVE to! You're a single girl!!! You HAVE to try to catch it!!!" Oh please. No I dont. LOL!


FutureMrsDJLeo Posts : 615 Registered: 2/26/09
Re: Bouquet/Garter Toss
Posted: Oct 1, 2009 12:42 AM Go to message in response to: DNAmindy

Were going to do the bouquet and garter toss, but can someone explain to me exactly how the anniversary dance works?

I do have to say, for the garter toss my fiance will NOT be using his teeth! I wouldn't feel right having him stick his head up my dress with my family, especially parents and grandparents watching...I honestly don't really understand how people can do that, I don't even like to call my FH "babe" in front of my parents, and we always call each other babe!


kelleyiskelley Posts : 11,590 Registered: 7/2/06
Re: Bouquet/Garter Toss
Posted: Oct 1, 2009 1:02 AM Go to message in response to: FutureMrsDJLeo

We didnt do the bouquet/garter because I dont really like them much, and we DID do the Anniversary Dance, because I think its really sweet, and a perfect way to celebrate the very concept of marriage. I used my bridal bouquet to give to the winning couple, and we also gave them a nice bottle of wine, and their very own spotlight dance.

MrsDLeo: Some DJs do the Anniversary Dance a bit differently than others, but for the most part, it works like this: DJ asks all married couples to come out onto the dance floor. (including the bride and groom, who stay on the dance floor throughout the dance) He then plays a slow song, and throughout the song, calls couples OFF the floor by the number of years they have been married. So, he will keep saying "at this time, all couples who have been married for 5 years or less can leave the dance floor ..... 10 years or less, please leave the dance floor...... 15 years or less....." etc, etc. Eventually, the couples are wittled down to a few, and then finally, you end up with one couple ... the longest married couple at the wedding. Then the DJ usually asks them a couple quesitons... like our DJ asked them how long they have been married, and what their advice or secret to a happy marriage was for the bride and groom. Then we presented the bouquet and wine to the couple, had a group hug, a couple pictures, and gave them a spotlight dance. Its really nice because you have two people who JUST got married and your groom...and two people who have been married for a very long time. I love the Anniversary Dance.

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BirdLover Posts : 2,834 Registered: 3/30/06
Re: Bouquet/Garter Toss
Posted: Oct 1, 2009 2:44 AM Go to message in response to: kelleyiskelley

Just a personal opinion: but even if you do both tosses, I think it's completely inappropriate to make the garter recipient put the garter on the bouquet recipient. That could potentially lead to a really uncomfortable situation.

And alternative I've seen is that they have both recipients dance together...which is better, to me, but still not ideal.

Toast: if you decide not to do the toss, definitely leave the garter a surprise for the wedding night :)
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LinzZ Posts : 683 Registered: 12/13/07
Re: Bouquet/Garter Toss
Posted: Oct 1, 2009 4:33 PM Go to message in response to: jellybean91908

DH and I did both tosses. We did not have the guy put the garter on the girl. Creepy. In my opinion, no one really thinks your DH is actually doing anything when he's getting the garter. The guys PACKED the dance floor ready to catch it. The girls are more reluctant but they came out and the girl who caught it was pretty thrilled. Just my two cents.

If you don't want to toss, here is an option I saw this summer. The bride had a seperate "toss" bouquet that she presented to her friend who was getting married next (someone who was already engaged) as a way to say congrats and good luck. It was something different and special. The friend really appreciated it.


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jackson132 Posts : 1,623 Registered: 9/13/12
Re: Bouquet/Garter Toss
Posted: Sep 16, 2012 2:17 PM Go to message in response to: jellybean91908

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