Should the mothers of the couple match?

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Renee86 Posts : 159 Registered: 5/30/08
Should the mothers of the couple match?
Posted: Sep 18, 2009 7:39 PM

I feel kinda stupid asking this but oh well lol. I was wanting to know if the mother of the bride and the mother of the groom should match each other? Like should they wear the same dress or the same color?
What is the norm? And if you're already married, what did your mothers do?

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myra Posts : 5,550 Registered: 3/28/06
Re: Should the mothers of the couple match?
Posted: Sep 18, 2009 8:02 PM Go to message in response to: Renee86

If mothers are not actually marching down the aisle, as members of the wedding party, then they pretty much can do as they please. If they are in the wedding party, many brides prefer that the Moms blend in with the color scheme. I say "blend," rather than match either the bridesmaids or each other. It's a lot easier for Moms (and more peaceful for brides!) if you give them a range of colors and ask them to stay within it. I am a MOB. For my daughter's wedding, all that she asked was that we stay in the brown family, anything from beige to taupe to rust to chocolate. She also said, no long dresses and no sparkles. As it turned out, both Moms and all of the bridesmaids were in chocolate brown, but as a matter of personal preference, not because we had to find that exact shade--and our dresses were very different. Hope this helps.
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Renee86 Posts : 159 Registered: 5/30/08
Re: Should the mothers of the couple match?
Posted: Sep 18, 2009 8:14 PM Go to message in response to: myra

Okay, that makes sense. I wasn't sure and I definitely don't want to seem like a bridezilla to them lol. I believe we will do what your daughter did. Thanks for clearing that up!

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FrancieElaine Posts : 654 Registered: 6/26/09
Re: Should the mothers of the couple match?
Posted: Sep 18, 2009 9:49 PM Go to message in response to: Renee86

Don't feel stupid for asking.. it is a good question. I personally do not think they need to match in any way... unless you want to request that they try to coordinate color. But I am guessing these women are much different in style and figures and I think they should be free to choose a dress that suits their personality as a mother and woman. That is my opinion. :)

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ArtBride Posts : 4,838 Registered: 5/9/07
Re: Should the mothers of the couple match?
Posted: Sep 19, 2009 12:22 AM Go to message in response to: Renee86

Our moms wore totally different colors/color schemes. That was fine with us.

But we didn't have our entire WP matching colors. Dh wanted the GM to wear kilts in his tartan, which was red with yellow and blue stripes. I didn't want the girls in red for a spring wedding, so I worked with the blue stripe in the kilts and picked indigo with navy sashes for the BMs.

Anyway, my mom was obsessed with finding something that looked beautiful with the BM gowns. She went with a light blue (actually, she really put a LOT of effort into finding the perfect dress that looked nice with my gown AND was in a color that looked nice with the color of the BM gowns. I probably wouldn't have put as much effort into it as she did, but it was important to her, so whatever. She looked great and matched everyone beautifully.) My MIL didn't talk to me or my mom about the color of her dress and just picked something that looked nice with the color of the tartan. She looked very nice, too, but her gown was a TOTALLY different color scheme than my mom's. That was Ok, though, because she made her choice based on what the guys were wearing and my mom made her choice based on what the girls were wearing, so it was pretty cool. Both ladies looked beautiful and felt beautiful in their gowns - that was the important thing.

So to answer your question, I don't think they necessarily need to match, unless you want them to for photos. But honestly...my mom and MIL were only in one photo together, so I wouldn't make them wear the same color just for that one photo. I would suggest that they don't wear clashing colors, but anything other than clashing colors should be Ok. At least, it wouldn't be a big deal to me.

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LinzZ Posts : 683 Registered: 12/13/07
Re: Should the mothers of the couple match?
Posted: Sep 19, 2009 12:30 AM Go to message in response to: Renee86

I didn't say a thing to my mom about what she wore. My wedding colors were white and blue topaz. My mom wore champagne and chocolate. There was no other brown in my wedding. But she looked beautiful and the topaz and chocolate actually looked really nice in the pictures.

For some reason my MIL had it in her head that she needed to coordinate with my mother but Mom got to pick her dress first. So, after my mom picked the fabric and pattern for her dress (my aunt made it), my MIL went out and bought a dress in the same color brown. I've never heard this rule, don't understand it, but my MIL was adamant. They looked beautiful in their own styles.

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Stephorse Posts : 138 Registered: 1/31/08
Re: Should the mothers of the couple match?
Posted: Sep 19, 2009 10:30 AM Go to message in response to: Renee86

Usually mothers of the couples should not wear a color of the bridal party since they are not technically in the bridal party. My colors were black, white, and hot pink so I told the mom's to use a complementary color like black, navy,silver, or a lighter pink something that would look nice and not clash too much with the hot pink dresses the bridesmaids were wearing since the bridesmaids were my sisters and we would have a lot of pictures with them. Traditionally the MOB picks her dress out first and the MOG picks her dress after the MOB has set the style for her dress selection. My mom choose a long navy dress with a jacket. My MIL orginally choose a purple dress below the knee, but the more she thought about it, the more she thought she should get a longer dress so she wound up with the same color dress! I asked my mom if that was ok, and she was fine with it! So I guess it just depends on the mothers and how they feel about it and what kind of look you're going for. Some MOB might have a problem matching with the MOG, but my mom was ok with it and in fact it looked really nice in pictues! Everyone coordinated so nicely! But it's really up to them. They do not necessairly have to have matching color dresses.

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