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Why can't his family just go with the flow?????

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Lori82 Posts : 151 Registered: 3/21/08
Why can't his family just go with the flow?????
Posted: Sep 16, 2009 4:44 PM

This is more or less just a rant. My FH's family is really getting on my nerves the closer it gets to the wedding. My FH's brother is an usher, and he has done nothing but complain about everything that will go on that day, from having to wear a tux to having to be at the rehearsal.

His sister was all upset that he wanted to start out his bachelor party by going disc golfing because her husband would rather just go golfing and that disc golfing was stupid and only something 13 year old boys did. Well, my fh and his friends love disc golfing and that is what he wanted to do. She is also one of my bridesmaids. I was talking with her in February because I was trying to decide what color shoes to have them wear. She suggested silver. Now that the wedding is under 2 weeks, she decided she didn't want to spend money on silver shoes she would never wear again and called complaining to my FH that it shouldn't matter what color shoes they wore since the dresses were floor length. I didn't want to go back and forth with her about it, so I just told her she could wear whatever color she could find in her price range. She finally found a pair of silver shoes in her budget. I just find it funny that she suggested silver shoes to begin with and now she's complaining about them.

His mom has seized every opportunity to be rude and complain to FH. She has shown no enthusiasm about this wedding over the last month and can't even crack a smile when talking about it. My mom asked her if she was getting excited about the wedding and all she could reply was with a totally unenthused "Well, so so. It's probably more exciting for you since you are the mother of the bride. I'm just the mother of the groom." She said this right in front of my fh.

Thanks for listening! Just a little frustrated with the way they have all been acting lately!



illinois_chicago
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ArtBride Posts : 4,841 Registered: 5/9/07
Re: Why can't his family just go with the flow?????
Posted: Sep 17, 2009 9:00 AM Go to message in response to: Lori82

Think on the bright side. For better or worse, it'll all be over in 9 days and you can ignore them all for as long as you want, claiming that you need some time alone as newlyweds.

And really...who doesn't already own a pair of silver shoes?

DaisypathWedding Ticker

Vice President and Guardian of the Toilet Brush of POOP: People Offended by Offended People

illinois_chicago
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myra Posts : 5,555 Registered: 3/28/06
Re: Why can't his family just go with the flow?????
Posted: Sep 17, 2009 1:10 PM Go to message in response to: Lori82

It's been said many times that weddings bring out the best and also the worst in people, particularly the wedding families. It's hard to believe that people develop new personalities when it comes to weddings.So, it's just that you probably haven't had a chance or reason to see these unattractive aspects of these people before this. Ignore them as best you can, and focus on your own happiness.
myra at www.classysassyweddings.com

illinois_chicago
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FutureMrsDJLeo Posts : 616 Registered: 2/26/09
Re: Why can't his family just go with the flow?????
Posted: Sep 17, 2009 10:29 PM Go to message in response to: Lori82

Like Artbride said, it'll all be over soon and definitly use her newlywed excuse to spend time away from them! Honestly though, that's pretty crappy that they have to be like that. Most people look forward to weddings, maybe their just jealous that you and FH will be in the spotlight that day?

Artbride, As for your question who doesn't own silver shoes...I didn't! LOL. I was standing up in a wedding a couple weeks ago and needed silver, strappy dress shoes. I preferred something with a very high heel as well. My mom couldn't believe with my whole shoe collection, I didn't have a pair of silver shoes...I do own silver shoes, silver pumps, silver flats, silver tennis shoes, silver flip flops, silver boots, but not a sexy strappy shoe that would be appropriate to go with my dress. I guess usually whenever I go somewhere to dress up, I never really go for the traditional gold or silver. And to make matters worse, I couldn't find a pair that I liked anywhere, or atleast that I liked and was silver (not gold) and in my size! I finally had to order a pair online, luckily they fit and their sexy! My fiance asked "how does that heel not break?" and that was when I knew they were the perfect for me! But yes, there are people who don't own silver dress shoes, even shoe-whores like myself, LOL.

june_2010 , illinois_chicago
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SHC2010 Posts : 14 Registered: 7/29/09
Re: Why can't his family just go with the flow?????
Posted: Sep 17, 2009 10:41 PM Go to message in response to: FutureMrsDJLeo

I'm so sorry you have to deal with that. It's just plain rude to complain like that. It's your wedding and if they weren't prepared to make it just the way you wanted then they shouldn't have agreed to be part of the WP even if they are related to the groom.
My FH's parents aren't thrilled about us getting married, they want my FH to finish grad school first, but I don't really see them being rude about it as it gets closer. I hope my FMIL isn't too ready to give her opinion as details come together. But, as others have said, it'll soon be over, hang in there!!

 

 

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Lori82 Posts : 151 Registered: 3/21/08
Re: Why can't his family just go with the flow?????
Posted: Sep 18, 2009 9:59 AM Go to message in response to: SHC2010

I think his sister is a little bitter that we're having a nice, big wedding. She and her husband decided that they just wanted to get married at the court house last December and we all went out for a nice breakfast afterwards. I know they didn't want to spend tons of money on a big wedding because they had a 14 month old son and she was pregnant with their second child at the time. I don't blame them for having that type of wedding at all. His sister has shown zero enthusiasm about the wedding. She hasn't told my FH once that she's looking forward to it, and right now she's making it sound like an inconvenience to her. The rest of his family, other than his mother of course, seems very excited about the wedding and I'm starting to think she maybe resents that.

Whatever may be going on with his mom and sister, I am determined not to let it ruin our day. I know for a fact that when the wedding day is here, his mom will be happy and smiling and laughing with her friends and family. Just not sure why she hasn't been able to act happy about recently. Up until a month ago she had a much more positive attitude about it. I feel like if this is the way they want us to remember them acting around the time of our wedding,then that is their own fault!



illinois_chicago
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tljohll Posts : 3 Registered: 1/4/09
Re: Why can't his family just go with the flow?????
Posted: Sep 21, 2009 3:23 AM Go to message in response to: Lori82

Is his mom venting her frustrations out on you because she sees it as her son is going to be married and not her little boy anymore? But I'm sorry this situation is casting a bleak couple of weeks before your wedding. Good luck with everything!

wisconsin , may_2010 , illinois_chicago
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XYZ1 Posts : 367 Registered: 1/7/08
Re: Why can't his family just go with the flow?????
Posted: Sep 21, 2009 9:58 AM Go to message in response to: Lori82

Lori82, I think you're probably right about Sister feeling regretful/resentful over your larger wedding. Personally I think her wedding sounds low-key and intimate and wonderful, and it sounds like it was a really smart decision for her and her husband not to spend tons of money given their family situation. But if even a tiny part of her wanted a larger celebration, she's probably a bit jealous right now.

And same goes for your FMIL, weird as that sounds. She may be feeling sad that she'll never get to be the mother of the bride at a big wedding, hence her comment to your mom about how she's "just the mother of the groom." My dad's girlfriend was an absolute pill before and after the wedding, couldn't find anything nice to say. Eventually I realized she was probably feeling bummed because she would love to be the mother of the bride, but her daughter is in a long-term relationship with no plans to marry.

I'm sorry they can't just get over themselves and be excited (and really, your FMIL's comment in front of your FH was kind of mean!!), but it sounds like you're taking things in stride. Just remember, it isn't your problem, and at least you guys are excited about it! :-)

colorado , july_2009 , illinois_chicago
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NJ4Life Posts : 3,358 Registered: 8/10/07
Re: Why can't his family just go with the flow?????
Posted: Sep 21, 2009 2:54 PM Go to message in response to: Lori82

Goodness, I could have written this post myself 2 years ago, so I feel you. The best advice I can offer is "in one ear and out the other" as my mom used to say.

Also, I have to mention one thing. Please do not let it bleed into your actual wedding day. I did, and there were times when MIL would try to have fun w/ me on the dance floor or talk to me and I just didn't want anything to do with her or my SIL. And I didn't like feeling that way on our big day. So just ignore them and focus on your FH and your exciting day!!

New Jersey: We have dumps, bays and cement boots and we know how to use 'em

october_2008 , illinois_chicago , central_new_jersey
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Lori82 Posts : 151 Registered: 3/21/08
Re: Why can't his family just go with the flow?????
Posted: Sep 21, 2009 4:09 PM Go to message in response to: NJ4Life

Thankfully, his mother seems to have gotten over whatever she was bitter or upset about. We went out to dinner with both of our parents last night, and his mom seemed to be in a much better mood thankfully. She even sounded like she was excited about the wedding. I don't blame her for being a little jaded that she never really got to be the mother of the bride. I think every mother would like to be in that position with their daughter. I don't think she was really mad at us about anything. I don't think she wanted to make his sister feel guilty, so she took it out on us instead.

His sister still seems to be bitter. I don't think that will go away until all the hype about the wedding is done. I am determined to not let her gloomy attitude ruin our day.





october_2008 , illinois_chicago , central_new_jersey
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FrancieElaine Posts : 655 Registered: 6/26/09
Re: Why can't his family just go with the flow?????
Posted: Sep 21, 2009 9:41 PM Go to message in response to: Lori82

Hey Lori,
I am glad you were able to vent and have lots of people supporting you! I am going to remind you that you are marrying the man of your dreams and your wedding is almost here! How awesome is that?! I am going to encourage you to take a step back from the craziness (from other people) and focus on what is important. Try not to give these silly people any power, okay? Do something special for yourself to de-stress. Just let all the goofiness fly right over your head. Good luck girlfriend. Francie

Francie Elaine, The Bride Whisperer

www.bride-whisperer.com

http://twitter.com/BrideWhispering

 

north_carolina , illinois_chicago
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AnneDunne Posts : 1 Registered: 9/21/09
Re: Why can't his family just go with the flow?????
Posted: Sep 21, 2009 9:50 PM Go to message in response to: Lori82

Hopefully, by now your rant helped you feel better. The best to you and yours in spite of the naysayers.

 No Day is a Mother More Proud of her Daughter than on her Daughter's Wedding Day

 

Mother of the Bride Dress

new_mexico , december_2010 , illinois_chicago
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JerseyGirlVA Posts : 311 Registered: 9/17/09
Re: Why can't his family just go with the flow?????
Posted: Sep 24, 2009 3:12 PM Go to message in response to: Lori82

Lori82 good for you for keeping such a positive attitude! The soon-to-be sister-in-law sounds like someone who just likes to have things her way. It's great that she happen to find a pair of silver shoes in her budget- that worked out nicely for you! I would hope that you're FH would have stood up for himself if his sister was giving him a hard time about going disc golfing. I mean, it's his Bachelor Party, he should decide what the activity will be.
Can't wait to see pictures! Goodluck & congrats!

virginia , october_2008 , september_2011 , illinois_chicago , central_new_jersey
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