Childless Honeymoon

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countrybride09 Posts : 4 Registered: 8/18/08
Childless Honeymoon
Posted: Sep 9, 2009 1:46 PM


2009

Edited by: countrybride09 on Sep 11, 2009 9:16 AM

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08divabride Posts : 831 Registered: 11/17/07
Re: Childless Honeymoon
Posted: Sep 9, 2009 2:20 PM Go to message in response to: countrybride09

Please do not feel guilty for not taking your son on your honeymoon! That time is for you and your new husband to have intimate alone time together before you start your lives as husband and wife. Surely, you don't want your toddler climbing in the bed with you during that time!

I do have a question. Is your FMIL babysitting your son? If so, is she the only babysitter? I ask because maybe she didn't want to keep your son for that long. Other than that I would ignore her request about taking the baby.

Then again the baby in my profile pic is a honeymoon baby for us so you might want to take him! LOL Just kidding!

Lilypie - (8e8A)

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His4life Posts : 117 Registered: 4/7/09
Re: Childless Honeymoon
Posted: Sep 9, 2009 2:31 PM Go to message in response to: countrybride09

I agree with the PP.... a honeymoon is meant for the bride and groom to have some alone time after the wedding. You should not feel guilty for not bringing him. I'm sure you will still at least get to talk to him everyday, right?

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countrybride09 Posts : 4 Registered: 8/18/08
Re: Childless Honeymoon
Posted: Sep 9, 2009 3:02 PM Go to message in response to: 08divabride

08divabride,
Thank you so much for replying. That sure is a beautiful little girl in that picture. She is precious. I am sure you know how hard it can be to find private time with a little one.
My FMIL mentioned that she could bring him to meet us, or even drop him off to us. I dont think its because she doesnt want to keep him. She would keep him all the time if I let her. I told her that my mother would be watching him so he could be at home and maybe even take him to the beach for two days so he could have a little "getaway" too. It could be one of those things "if I cant have him then neither can she". I would like to think not but who knows. You never quite know about the in laws.

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countrybride09 Posts : 4 Registered: 8/18/08
Re: Childless Honeymoon
Posted: Sep 9, 2009 3:04 PM Go to message in response to: His4life

Thanks for your post. We will probably talk a few times a day. He is mommy's little man through and through. I dont know if I could go a day without talking to him. We havent been separated like this before so it will be hard on both sides.

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foreverurs Posts : 31 Registered: 10/1/08
Re: Childless Honeymoon
Posted: Sep 9, 2009 10:56 PM Go to message in response to: countrybride09

you deserve to be alone with your new husband. JUST don't go to disney or on a cruise where there are tons of kids. You will feel really guilty. Do an adults only all inclusive! Enjoy romance and privacy!

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auntofthebride Posts : 9,354 Registered: 4/2/06
Re: Childless Honeymoon
Posted: Sep 10, 2009 6:46 PM Go to message in response to: countrybride09

Dear CB,

Every child has to learn how to get along without Mommy, eventually. For some children, it's the first day of kindergarten. (Look at the teary photos in the newspapers these days.)

Your honeymoon is as good a time as any to make that first break. You have quality child care lined up, in the form of Grandma who is your mother. Thus, you don't have to worry that he's not being taken care of properly.

Talk the Little Dude about how a big boy can stay with Grandma by himself, and how Mommy is going to be away after the wedding. He will have a wonderful time with Grandma, who loves him very much. Give him some kind of gift that can be opened a day at a time. That way he'll be able to visualize how long you will be gone and when to expect him back. You might get some inexpensive toys, wrap them up and put large numbers on them, for example.

Rehearse with him how he'll open #1 on the first day you are gone, #2 on the second day, etc.

As for FMIL, he's her grandchild, too. Talk to your mother about ways to include FMIL in the Grandma Duty. Maybe both grandmothers can take the kid to the zoo, or for a day in the park together.

I'll put in a word on Grandma's behalf. I have a grand-nephew who is my niece's child. This kid is like a grandson to me and I love him dearly. I spent two days with him last month while his mother and father both had coinciding business trips. Believe me, it's HARD for us 50-somethings to keep up with toddlers!!!!!! His father's mother came over and spent hours with us to help spell me. It felt great to just be able to sit and watch someone else run after him for a change.

At the end of two days with the kid, which I enjoyed thoroughly, my body actually ached from the constant activity. Up, down, up, down, off the floor, on the floor, picking things up, etc etc etc. Staying with one kid for two days nearly knocked me out. How did I ever keep up with my own twins?

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countrybride09 Posts : 4 Registered: 8/18/08
Re: Childless Honeymoon
Posted: Sep 11, 2009 8:24 AM Go to message in response to: auntofthebride

Dear Auntofthebride,
Thanks for your input and suggestions. I think the gifts will make it a little more exciting for him. What child doesnt love presents? We will only be gone for 4 days so he should be fine. I dont think its so much the separation that bothers me. Its going away to see fun and exciting things and not including him. I will have to make my peace with that and we were thinking we should take him to the zoo or down to the beach for a night once we get back.
My FMIL keeps our child M-F while we both work full-time jobs. So anytime my family comes down and keeps him she gets a little defensive and acts very cold. My mother who lives out of town comes up about twice every 3 months to visit with her grandson and of course see her daughter. So hopefully she will put her feelings behind her and stop trying to put a guilt trip on me for not taking him. Which I think has more to do with the fact that she would rather keep him than the fact that we are being inconsiderate by not taking him. In laws....

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wzq103 Posts : 1,190 Registered: 9/11/12
Re: Childless Honeymoon
Posted: Sep 27, 2012 6:39 PM Go to message in response to: countrybride09

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