Is it ok to think that the ring is ugly?

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MadamBari Posts : 16 Registered: 8/7/09
Re: Is it ok to think that the ring is ugly?
Posted: Aug 7, 2009 10:42 AM Go to message in response to: Angelxx05x

The ring he gives you is a symbol of his love for you... but yes, you're going to be wearing it for the rest of your life. If he already gave you the ring, I'd suggest modifying it after a certain period of time.

But he hasn't gotten it for you yet, so you have some time to do a little damage control. You can make a few suggestions... A) Since he wants it to be a surprise for YOU, tell a friend what you like and have him take her with him.

B) Tell him the general things you like... For example, I HATE yellow gold... I LOVE princess cut and round cut diamonds. Even just telling him the metal you like and the cuts of diamonds you really like is enough... because those two things are the meat and potatos of a ring. You can always give it more sparkle or make it look more beautiful by choosing a wedding band that works with it and gives it that something extra that you want.

My Future Husband had absolutely NO idea how to pick out a ring. I don't really wear jewelery (except the promise ring he got me a year ago... which, I have to admit, was beautiful... he got lucky!). But my best friend and I had already started talking about engagement rings because she was in hopeful long term relationship as well. And he already knew that I HATED yellow gold.

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JamieShell Posts : 10 Registered: 7/21/09
Re: Is it ok to think that the ring is ugly?
Posted: Aug 11, 2009 11:28 AM Go to message in response to: Angelxx05x

I've worried about this too. It seems like there would be no right solution if you don't like the ring. If you tell him you don't like it, well come on it's bound to hurt his feelings. But then again this is a ring you're planning on wearing the rest of your life, you should like it. Maybe like others have suggested, wait a while and suggest some alterations, maybe as a future anniversary gift to you from him?

When my boyfriend asked me what kind of ring I would like, I told him two things "White Gold" (nothing against yellow gold, just not my style) and "Nothing flashy!". He offered a couple of months to go look at rings with me so he would have an idea of what I liked when he was ready to buy one but I declined. I was so tempted but ultimately I told him that I would like the choice to be his. I want him to look at rings and think of me so I'll always know when I look at my ring that that was the one ring he thought was me out of all the choices he looked at. I don't think there's anything wrong with the woman picking out her own engagement ring, it would certainly avoid this situation. It's just my preference that he pick it out.

But like I said I'm kind of worried too. I have a gut instinct that he's going to propose at the end of the month when we go on our little romantic get-away for the weekend and if that's true then I'm assuming he would have already got the ring if that is his plan. And just yesterday my boss let me try on her princess cut solitaire ring and I have to say I did not like the way it looked on my hand that much. Maybe my hands are just too small but it looked rather awkward, not horrible by any means but something was just off. And so now I'm thinking a three-stone would look better but if he's already bought the ring and it is a solitaire then I don't want to say anything and have him running back to the jewelry store with fear I'll hate the ring. So I don't know. Part of me wants to mention it because there is still a good chance he hasn't bought the ring (after all I don't even know if he is going to propose for sure this month) but I did tell him I wanted him to pick and that's still true so I think I'll risk it. Even if it is a princess-cut solitaire I think I'll be happy with it because he picked it for me.

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NessaRae615 Posts : 675 Registered: 9/23/08
Re: Is it ok to think that the ring is ugly?
Posted: Aug 13, 2009 1:51 PM Go to message in response to: Angelxx05x

I know this thread is a little old, but I just wanted to add my 2 cents. When my DH and I started discussing getting engaged and married, I told him I wanted to be engaged by Christmas, and a ring would be a perfect gift. I started to freak out a little bit when I knew he was going to the mall, because I didn't even know what I wanted, how could he know what I want. Turns out DH couldn't find anything that was my style for christmas so he got me a beautiful necklace. So I mentioned Valentine's day would be a great time to get a ring, and again freaking out I didn't know what I wanted, I took a friend with me to the mall to get an idea so maybe I could tell DH what I actually liked. I found nothing that looked right on me, which caused me to freak out even more. Unforuntaly the next part isn't to helpful to the PP, but after we announced we were going to get married, and started planning a little bit (yes with out a ring since neither one of us could find what I liked) my mom walked into the jewlery store she used to work at, and something cought her eye, it was the ring I fell in love with several years before. I had been looking for one like it, but I couldn't describe it to DH, and I could not find anything else like it. DH has mentioned its not exactly something he would have picked out on his own, but after seeing it on me he knew it was the one. I do have several other peices of jewlery from DH he picked out on his own, that I absolutly love and are compeatly me. Don't worry about what your BF will or will not pick out for you, he wants to marry you, so in general he should know your style and what makes you happy, and as CDLROSS said he wants to marry you, and the ring symbolizes that.

Good luck!


 

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Angelxx05x Posts : 39 Registered: 7/24/09
Re: Is it ok to think that the ring is ugly?---Update
Posted: Aug 13, 2009 6:10 PM Go to message in response to: Angelxx05x

Still not engaged yet, but I'm really thinking it is going to happen when I go home on vacation next weekend!!!! (Insert me squealing like a school girl here _______), lol.

Everytime I talk to my bf now, he keeps telling me how happy/excited he is that I'm coming home and that he gets to see me. Not that he can't be excited, but the last couple of times that he has flown out here to see me he didn't constatnly tell me how EXCITED he was to see me. Last night he mentioned that he is taking his mom out to lunch on Friday so that they can talk. When I asked him "About what"? He said "About you", I tried to get more information from him, but he wouldn't say anything else about it. Maybe he was pulling my leg, I don't know. And lastly, he told me that I have to reserve 28 Aug just for him. He says that he has something planned, but he won't tell me what it is. He won't say ANYTHING.... no hints....nothing.

So I guess that the ring being ugly isn't a concern anymore. I guess I'm concerned with when it is going to happen. All the advice that I received (about how to drop hints, etc) was great and thank you for sharing. I don't want to put too much thought into this (28 Aug) thing.....BUT....if anything wonderful does happen, then I'll be back to share.


wedding countdown

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Revenwyn Posts : 48 Registered: 4/26/07
Re: Is it ok to think that the ring is ugly?---Update
Posted: Aug 13, 2009 6:26 PM Go to message in response to: Angelxx05x

Hope you have luck on August 28th, that will be 5 years to the day that my man and I got together. :)

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Hoping and praying our day will come soon.

 

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Angelxx05x Posts : 39 Registered: 7/24/09
Re: Is it ok to think that the ring is ugly?---Update
Posted: Aug 13, 2009 9:12 PM Go to message in response to: Revenwyn

Thanks Revenwyn and congrats on your up coming anni.
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Blkbarbie Posts : 1 Registered: 8/7/09
Re: Is it ok to think that the ring is ugly?
Posted: Aug 13, 2009 10:55 PM Go to message in response to: Angelxx05x

It's perfectly acceptable to not like your engagment ring...especially if you've not gone ring shopping with him. I'm in a similar situation, as my boyfriend wants everything to be a complete surprise. However, when he started dropping hints about getting married, we did visit a few jewelers so he could get an idea of my tastes. I think sending your future fiance a few examples of the styles you like was a good idea.

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minobotbride Posts : 37 Registered: 5/21/09
Re: Is it ok to think that the ring is ugly?
Posted: Aug 14, 2009 12:20 AM Go to message in response to: Blkbarbie

After FH and I decided we were going to get married (no proposal, just a mutual decision at that point that yes, we would be taking the next step), we talked about rings a little bit.
And then we spent one evening looking at rings all over the Internet, sending photos and such back and forth while talking on Skype (long distance, BC to Hawaii...). We had so much fun that night, finding wacky crazy rings and laughing, but also figuring out what we liked.
There was this one he liked, that was shaped like a lightning bolt, and he kept going back to it until I said, "Really, babe? You really want me to be wearing a lightning bolt on my finger for the rest of my life?" And he realized that he didn't although he said he might get me that one for some other occasion.
When I went to bed that night, we'd found I think 3 rings I liked - all white gold, multi-stone. He picked his favourite, and that's what I'm wearing on my left hand right now
ring2.jpg picture by green-robot
I have to admit, it is bigger than I thought it would be - but I love it because having this on my finger means that soon, I'll never have to say goodbye to him again.

Someday No Goodbyes - Minobot Forever, December 23 2009

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JadeDeCaro Posts : 11 Registered: 7/8/09
Re: Is it ok to think that the ring is ugly?
Posted: Aug 18, 2009 1:37 AM Go to message in response to: Angelxx05x

i think so.
its ur taste and if the ring doesnt match up ur taste i think its fine to think the ring's ugly.but dont change it or it'll hurt his feelings. i think u can change it a year after ur wedding.

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sunkissdluster Posts : 8 Registered: 2/5/07
Re: Is it ok to think that the ring is ugly?
Posted: Aug 24, 2009 3:01 AM Go to message in response to: Angelxx05x

I didn't read all posts but here is my advice:
At some jewelers, your DF can choose the diamond and they will place it in a plain setting. Then he can propose with that ring and return and use the price he paid for the setting to go towards the setting you choose! So in the end he chooses the cut/color/etc. of the diamond but the overall style is up to you at no more cost than if you picked it out yourself! I'd MAKE HIM do this if he can find a jeweler that does this. That way he isn't inconvenienced and gets to surprise you while you get to be happy with the ring you will wear for the rest of your life!

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Revenwyn Posts : 48 Registered: 4/26/07
Re: Is it ok to think that the ring is ugly?
Posted: Aug 29, 2009 1:28 AM Go to message in response to: sunkissdluster

Hey, was the 28th your lucky day?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

Hoping and praying our day will come soon.

 

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Angelxx05x Posts : 39 Registered: 7/24/09
Re: Is it ok to think that the ring is ugly?
Posted: Aug 31, 2009 5:14 PM Go to message in response to: Revenwyn

Noooooo the 28th, he didn't propose, but I'm ok with that now. We just hung out in Charleston and he took me to see the sights. Buttttt, he did take me to look at rings and we had a great time. So, all in all, I am happy.
wedding countdown

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nines Posts : 2 Registered: 9/1/09
Re: Is it ok to think that the ring is ugly?
Posted: Sep 1, 2009 3:58 AM Go to message in response to: Angelxx05x

for my point of view marriage is not matter is how much the ring expensive the marraige life depends on how much he love u.

DIY Wedding Invitations

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tellyy Posts : 27 Registered: 10/31/06
Re: Is it ok to think that the ring is ugly?
Posted: Oct 9, 2009 8:46 PM Go to message in response to: Angelxx05x

i dont know why so many woman focus on how the ring looks. WHO CARES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! its the thought that counts and matters at least hes thinking about you and how many women can say that

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BirdLover Posts : 2,834 Registered: 3/30/06
Re: Is it ok to think that the ring is ugly?
Posted: Oct 9, 2009 10:36 PM Go to message in response to: Angelxx05x

It's perfectly find to not like the ring. You can't help what you like and dislike.

It is NOT okay, in my books, to criticize the ring. Because when the look of a ring becomes more important than the other person's feelings, I think there is a problem.
Lilypie 1st Birthday Ticker

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