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CARRIE12345 Posts : 1 Registered: 7/15/09
Posted: Jul 15, 2009 6:57 AM

A supposedly "close friend" has implied for months that I was invited to the wedding, but I never got an invite.

Here is the background. We were practically inseparable in college. We graduated last year. After we graduated, I was told I was gonna help out with the planning and play such a big role in the wedding. Over the past year, we have not been as close as we used to be since we live in different states now. But I have gone to visit her several times. And whenever we do see eachother we always talk about her wedding that is coming up. Interesting though, she has not included me in the planning at all like she told me. Instead she has played down the wedding evereytime we talk. She has acted like she has been very busy with the new career. Her job is really demanding so I did not mind at first. But then she never even asked me be in the wedding party. At fist I was a little hurt, but I got over that quick. Her family is really big, so naturally I assume that her wedding party will be made of close family members.

The wedding is actually planed in the same state that I live (the state we went to school together), even though its close to me she actually has not invited to any of the pre wedding ceremonies. Like a bachelloete party or anything.

Now here is the kicker, I still have not received a wedding invite. She calls me the week b4 and tells me that she is so happy I will be there and misses me. She tell me she give me an invite at the wedding ceremony, so that I have it for the reception. On the same call she still does not tell me the place, and says she will text it to me. I didnt even know the time of the wedding until I asked.

Its 4 days before the wedding and I still have not recieved the address. She expects me to be there, so I am sure she will eventually send me the address. But should I bother going?

I feel like she has been fake, and clearly doesnt care if I come at all. I know she is clearly busy, but I feel like Im on the D list, for some one who I thought was a close friend. I just went to visit her less than 2 months ago. And she was talking to me about the wedding.

What do you all think???


ArtBride Posts : 4,838 Registered: 5/9/07
Posted: Jul 15, 2009 7:23 AM Go to message in response to: CARRIE12345

She TEXTING you the location of the wedding? Either this is an incredibly casual wedding, or you're right - you're on the D list.

Did you ask her about this weird behavior? If someone told me, four days before their wedding, that I was invited, but she'd give me an invitation at the ceremony and TEXT ME the location of the ceremony, my first reaction would be to say, 'WTF? Why can't you just tell me NOW?' Actually, I'd probably already have plans for the day in question, so I'd say, 'Sorry, but you don't need to text me the location. I knew your wedding was coming up, but as I'd never received an invitation, I assumed I wasn't invited and I made other plans for the day.'

It's up to you whether you want to go or not. Personally, I'd decline an 'invitation' like this. I'd probably send her a card, but no gift. If she can't be bothered to send me an invitation a reasonable amount of time before the wedding (or at all, really), why should I be obligated to send her a gift?

DaisypathWedding Ticker

Vice President and Guardian of the Toilet Brush of POOP: People Offended by Offended People


MsDenuninani Posts : 3,962 Registered: 3/16/07
Posted: Jul 15, 2009 10:08 AM Go to message in response to: CARRIE12345

Well, who the hell knows what's going on? Without knowing exactly what her planning has been like, it's hard to tell whether this is a D list thing or an incredibly chaotic planning thing.

If it's the former, then it's up to you whether or not to go. She was a good friend, it is a free meal, so you may want to just go to be the better person. If it's the latter, you probably want to go. . .well, for the same reasons.

Because she's been keeping you informed of wedding planning, etc., my hunch is that she does want you to attend. . .there just may be something else going on that she's having issues with that you aren't fully aware of.

But, yeah, I'd be annoyed too.


"I'd hate to advocate drugs, alcohol, or insanity, but they've always worked for me." Hunter S. Thompson


sunkissdluster Posts : 8 Registered: 2/5/07
Posted: Aug 24, 2009 2:32 AM Go to message in response to: CARRIE12345

To me it sounds like she wants you there, but has taken a very casual approach to inviting you. She might be assuming that since, from the sounds of it, you are still very good friends, that she need not bother sending you an actual invite. While I totally think she is being tactless, I don't think she is intentionally doing so.


FutureMrsDJLeo Posts : 615 Registered: 2/26/09
Posted: Aug 24, 2009 3:03 AM Go to message in response to: CARRIE12345

I would call her and have a talk with her since you guys have kept in touch and you have visited her numerous times. I do think it's shady that she couldn't even send you an invite, and had to text you! As for her not getting back right away, if she's really stressed out with her job, or doing last minute wedding details, she could have simply forgotten. You know this girl better than any of us though, and you know how your friendship is with her to make that decision as to if you want to go or not.

I was in a similar situation a while back. Someone texted me asking if I was coming to there wedding. We weren't close, and since I didn't recieve an invite I declined. My thoughts were if they couldn't send the invite to me, then obviously I'm not really wanted at the wedding, and I don't want to go if I'm not wanted.

Edited by: FutureMrsDJLeo on Aug 24, 2009 3:03 AM


auntofthebride Posts : 9,354 Registered: 4/2/06
Posted: Aug 24, 2009 6:48 AM Go to message in response to: CARRIE12345

Dear Carrie,

It's hard to say, but given what you have written, you are a D-list invitee. It's up to you whether or not you attend, but personally I'd give it a miss.


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